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Showing posts from July, 2016

Guilt.

Is it a good or a bad thing that I rarely feel guilty? This is not because I lack a conscience but because I'm actually rather conscientious, so before I act, it's often well thought through, especially the impact on other people. I ask if it's a bad thing because this results in a rather uneventful life, I think. 
In any case, sometimes even the best people do the worst things, and the worst people have the occasional stints of kindness. I'm at neither end of the spectrum of good or bad and this post is actually not that deep. 
But...
So that morning a few days ago mummy called me and it started out as the normal phone call; pleasantries, questions, teasing, jokes yadayadayada. And then she said 'There's one Samsung touch screen phone I saw in your room the last time I came. One that the screen is broken...'
Before she finished I blew a fuse. I wrote on my birthday about how I threw some tantrum and threw my phone against the wall a night before my birthday. T…

Much Ado About Sharing a Toothbrush! (Le Boo & I).

Everyone, or at least most people know that sharing toothbrushes can be very unsanitary, but being in a relationship and doing relationship things sometimes makes certain things that ordinarily aren't, okay for some people. 
The first time a lover used my toothbrush I was 23. We'd just woken up and I lay lazily in bed and smiled smugly at myself for snagging such a catch. Afam was a great catch, or so the 23 year old me thought. In restrospect I realize he was simply a very nicely put together narcissistic eejit, but that's besides the point now. 
So when he walked to the bathroom and my heart raced at his toned legs and thighs and... ahem... Anyways, so when he walked to the bathroom and opened the cabinet and took out a toothbrush and put it in his mouth and I saw the colour and I saw that it was mine, I freaked out! I was actually caught between being horrified and flattered. Horrified because isn't that simply gross??? Flattered because this perfect Adonis was sharin…

F- THE STORIES BEHIND MY PHOBIAS

Ghosts/Burial Sites: I was told a weird story by my mum many years ago. I have tiny, almost invisible marks on both sides of my cheeks. No one knows who exactly gave them to me. Tale is: on the day my late dad was laid in state in the family’s large living room, I suddenly sprang up from my erstwhile sitting position and started running and screaming “dog! Dog! Dog” Of course there were no dogs anywhere around and by the time I was calmed, they noticed blood streaming down my face and after it was cleaned off, there were two perfect marks/incisions seated on both sides of my face. Who dunno it? Theory was: the spirit of my late dad came to give me those marks. Why? I can’t even remember the reason. Yes, I hate burial sites. I always feel the ghost of the body buried in there could spring out and give me the chase of my life. It’s so bad that I’m thinking of asking to be cremated rather than buried when I die. Ain’t gonna join a bandwagon of people-chasing, mark-giving ghosts.Financial…

#SaveMayowa Was a Scam?

Social media has been flooded with the #savemayowa hashtag for the last few days. Several people, including several celebrities passionately implored people to donate towards saving the life of the young lady who is suffering from ovarian cancer. Word has it that over N30,000,000 has been raised on her Go Fund Me page in barely few days, people seemed particularly touched by this one case, and perhaps because of the involvement of celebrities, many were pushed to help.       One can therefore imagine the collective shock of us all to read on Linda Ikeji's blog that while Mayowa is indeed suffering from ovarian cancer, the whole campaign is a scam. Read below;

This is such a sad thing for me to report this afternoon. Just two days after we were all happy that Nigerians kindly donated to cancer patient, Mayowa Ahmed, for surgery she needed for ovarian cancer, LIB just learnt that Mayowa and her family scammed kind hearted Nigerians.

You see, Mayowa is really sick. She truly has Ovarian…

Chrisyinks: The Irony Of Receiving; The Importance Of Now.

In recent times, I have been fascinated with why ‘seemingly qualified’ hands are re-gifted opportunities to add more accomplishments to their already numerous and lofty successes. It appears that only those who display a certain desired antecedent or record of accomplishments (track record) are bequeathed opportunities and challenges – oftentimes at the detriment of other seemingly qualified greenhorns. It is a phenomenon – or bias – that is recurring in individuals, businesses, societies, governments and virtually every instance that a decision has to be made. For example, I would be inclined to patronize a food vendor who has been moderately reliable in delivering good service than a new entrant that offers comparatively slightly better benefits to me as a consumer; also, governments often award contracts to companies with a rich history in a tackling a defined challenge as against upstarts who are yet to prove their mettle.
So how can one be aligned to benefit from this bias? I’d gi…

What's Your Forgiveness Worth? (Woman Surprises Her Boo With a G-Wagon!)

Photos/Video: Rich Nigerian woman surprises her man with a G-wagon This story is trending on Nigerian Social Media. At first people thought it was a man that surprised his girlfriend with the luxury car as an apology gift, but it turns out it was the other way around. According to the person who handled the delivery, (Royal Hugs), a woman hired them to deliver a G.wagon, with a note saying 'I am sorry' to her man on Tuesday. From the videos shared, he actually taught it was a prank at first and also asked if they were serious. Watch the videos after the cut...







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Culled Linda Ikeji's blog.

Ask Kon. Miss 'Should I Make The First Move?'

Ask Kon is new segment on TTB where blog readers get to send in their mails to our very own Kon and he in turn would share his candid opinion and/or advise. The rest of us get to share our thoughts in the section too. Kon is not an expert but his interesting views on various issues spanning different topics lend him a lot of appeal. Also, he is a GUY and don't we all wish we had a male friend to help us navigate the murky waters of love and life? You can send your Ask Kon mails to thelmathinks@gmail.com. 
Mails addressed to Kon should be simply titled Ask Kon. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Read the latest mail sent to Kon below. 

Hello Kon plz what's your personal take on females making the first move? I think more females won't mind but because there is a consensus that if you do it will cheapen you in the guys eyes, most of us hold back. You know how they say men are hunters and if they find food that just came to them easily they will not value it. Kon is t…

#Chified. What Do You See?

Is the person in the image above familiar to you? Have you seen her pictures on social media before? When you see her pictures what comes to your mind? 











I never knew who she was until I started seeing her photos on some gossip blogs, with the obvious intention of attracting traffic and comments, because the bloggers know just the kind of reactions this kind of pictures would get. 
There's no name that some wouldn't call the person in this picture and I'd nearly shudder at the hate. Like, if you're that disgusted, why click on the post, why open it, why scroll down?
I don't know why, but from the first I saw her pictures I totally liked her. Chified is an Igbo lady, she's a professional footballer who plays (and lives in) for Denmark, i think. She's also a fitness trainer (duh!) and from her social media bio, she's a budding artiste. 
I searched for her on Instagram and followed her STAT! Some people might see a freak or a lesbian (of which we're not eve…

Chrisyinks: Adopting an Improved View on Learning International Languages

One of the dictionary’s definitions of the word ‘language’ is the systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols. Underpinning this definition and other definitions of this word is the emphasis on communication– a crucial aspect of living in this era. The prevalent phenomenon of this age –globalization – has created enormous benefits for those who can effectively communicate their value, and exchange services with the varied people and cultures that inhabit this planet.
Nigeria is a culturally rich country with a diverse population possessing visible language divides. With about 500 ethnic groups and each one boasting its almost unique language or dialect, supremacy of the language of communication is often fought between the three dominant ethnic groups and their respective languages – Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba Language. This has had the consequent effect of a tacit neglect of how best we can integrate globally and leverage on the world’s culture and its v…

Missing The One. (It Goes Down In The DM...)

Not missing as in missing/longing for someone. But missing as in lost, as in lose/miss an opportunity, or something... 
Ok, this is very random. Over the years I've met and heard of several people who met their husbands on social media, facebook to be precise. I've always wondered about it and made halfhearted mental notes to pay more attention to my facebook inbox, yet I never get round to doing that. 
I dunno why but I just feel some type of way about strangers messaging me on social media for "friendship". 
So now I've just met someone celebrating her marriage and she couldn't stop gushing about her husband, and how they met. Apparently he sent her a FB request, she accepted it and then he inboxed her saying "thanks for accepting my request, I'll like to know you better...."  And today they're married and she seems soooo in love. 
And then I looked at myself, do you know how many "thanks for accepting my request messages" I've s…

A Very Heartbreaking Account Of Domestic Violence.

WTF did I just read!? 
What I don't understand is how someone can endure this for so long. I have a question for DV victims, isn't the beating painful? The kicking, the flogging, the injuries... Are they not painful? Like, even if mentally or emotion you cannot leave, e no dey pain una for body? Is the pain not enough reason to make one run away?I just don't get it... I sincerely pray this lady finds healing. Her mind and soul must be severely battered by now. 


Culled, @make_or_breakup Instagram. 



No Longer At Ease.

And so just this afternoon I went hunting for a pack of razor blades from a mallam kiosk. I don't know if I'm the only one who's noticed but even little things like razor blades now have fakes. Tiger is very scarce these days and what most Mallams sell is Tigger. This poor counterfeit is a problem when you're using it for grooming. So on getting to my third mallam shed in the hope of finding Tiger, I noticed it had an unusual number of "mallams" hanging around but still I approached the shed, because my brows desperately need grooming. On getting close, one began to chant some prayers, I think, not in Hausa, but Arabic. Another followed suit and another. They were not on their prayer mats or performing ablution but scattered randomly, some seated, some standing. Immediately my heart began to race and I thought I was about to be lynched. I did a mental assessment of how I was dressed and eventhough it was "decent" in my opinion, I couldn't help b…

Bizarre Tradition Where The "Hyena" Has Sexual Intercourse With Womenand Young Girls To Cleanse Them.

You know, there are times I actually struggle with the "validity" of religion and Christianity, especially when I consider how it was brought to us; practically imposed on us by westerners telling us (sort of just like they still are) that our own ways are not good enough, that our traditions are balderdash and theirs is the "authentic" one. Also when you see that those same people who brought it have mostly moved on from it, some of them treating it like an ugly obsolete hobby, and us, with our slave mentality are still carrying it on our heads like gala... I find I'm liking this thing called religion less and less each day. It is and has been, responsible for way too much death and evil in the world that it's beginning to look not at all Godly, holy, moral or just. In any case, in my quiet moments I weigh the pros and the cons of Christianity being brought by the missionaries, and one thing it was good for at least, was abolishing repugnant practices in …