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Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Dear Thelma (Please Help, She Wants Him Back!)

Greetings to the wonderful people of thelma thinks blog. I am here to share a story.
I have been into relationships which ended for one reason or the other. I am a young girl of 25, a catholic and from Anambra state.
Few months ago i met Mr.A who is 32 years old, not a catholic, not tall and he hails from Imo state. Frankly speaking, his denomination and height made me lose interest though we got talking and the flow was just awesome. We got to know each other. I was so comfortable with him. He was so transparent to me that he narrated his past relationships;serious and the unserious ones, his principle and standards, financial capability...I decided to pay attention to his character, the man in him. Lo and behold he has those qualities I want in a man which made me fall in love with him.

Mr.A actually broke up from a relationship before he met me. He dated the ex for 6 years. The relationship with his ex was a lovely and sweet one but along the line the girl (ex) cheated on him and didn't show any remorse. This led to their breakup. 

I started dating him knowing that he is no longer dating the other lady. Along d line his ex started calling him crying and begging for them to amend things. She adds alot of pressure to Mr.A who has moved on with me. I am in love with him and i get scared of loosing him to the ex. He loves me and he promised to be with me. He is also making sacrifices for it to work out between us. I have introduced him to my parents.

I don't think he has completely forgotten the ex because he gists me about her once in a while...he actually tells me his dreams, plans, fears no matter how bad it sounds. I am scared of loosing him and i always come up with what if this...and what if that...

I don't know the best way to handle my fears. Secondly my parents are not in support of my relationship with him because he is not a catholic and not from Anambra state. I need your help.


  1. I still do not get why Anambra parents see it as a do or die affair to get their daughters married to Catholic Anambra men. My dear,if he talks to you about her and you feel he loves you,you should try to forget about her. Chanting in my head helps me when I think of stuff I do not want to think about. You should also try to talk to him about your fears so he is aware and doesn't cause an unintentional harm some day.

    1. It's common with catholics not just Anambra people

  2. Per your parent's perspective, get them to see that religion and ethnicity is not a sufficient criteria for a 'successful' marriage. Explain to them that you also held such a perspective and you'd have preferred a Christian and someone from Anambra, but you were able to see stuff in him that outweighed religion/ethnicity. From observation, I'd advice that you first try to get mommy on your side first....she can weigh on your dad.

    Talk your fears with owe him that much, especially when he has been upfront with his. If he his truly honest with his feelings, you'd know your stance. If he isn't honest, you'd also know.

    Hope this helps. Chrisyinks

    PS: That boyfriend talks about her doesn't necessarily mean he isn't over her. Perhaps, he's just trying to be honest about the emotional side of him. I feel honesty is a value to treasure in relationships.

    1. This is long story, I mean the post itself, if the guy wants to marry you then he should start doing the necessary. No time to be writing stories.
      This life is moving so fast one has to make immediate decisions on life goals. Now.

  3. What do you really want?He loves you and has proven that to you already.You already have a confused mind by saying your parents are not in support.Are you sure you are not wasting your time with him if you know you are going with your parents opinion...TNHW

  4. Geez...There is nothing to be afraid of. Just keep doing your thing: Be good to him, dont nag him, give great sex (++ oral), love his friends and family.. there is no reason why he should leave you.

    As for your parents...they need to calm down. This is 2017. Church and state of origin dont define peoples characters. So my advice is for you to stand your ground.


  5. Nope.... you need God's help 😊

  6. So basically you want to see issues where there are none. I doubt anyone ever fully forget their ex, and they did date for six(6) years even though it ended badly.

    I doubt the ex is the problem. His tribe,his been catholic,your parents lack of support for the relationship are your fears and those are what you should discuss with him.

    So she wants to come back,does he want to take her back?


  7. Forget about the ex for now. Your parents' lack of consent is a bigger issue here bcos it can rob you of peace and make you assess the relationship less clearly. Work on that.



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