Skip to main content

Favourite: Your Relationships; Situational or Intentional?

Someone once said, who you will be in ten(10) years is a function of the books you read and the people you know. I'll like to see that to mean, your growth in life partly depends on the knowledge you apply (which can be gleaned from books) and the relationship you built/are building.

I look at relationships as three(3) dimensional, mentors/superior, colleagial/friendship, mentees/protegees. Basically you have those you look up to, your colleagues/friends who you are on same level due to age, career growth e.t.c and then those who look up to you. So if indeed all round growth could be traceble to relationships one has, shouldn't the choosing and building of such relationships be intentional rather than left to chance?

It does seem of necessity to intentionally choose/groom your relationships based on your current & future goals. Objectively ask yourself, do I have situational or intentional relationships in my life? Can  my situational relationships be made intentional? In what ways will I start building intentional relationships?

This is not to say situational relationships are entirely a no-do, but i'll like to think we can achieve more if we go all out to build the relationships we want rather than leave it to chance. I mean, that you attended same university or work in same office or was on the same flight with someone doesn't mean you have to build a relationship with them in any of the three dimensions aforementioned.

Finally you might want to build a relationship with certain people and they might not be interested, you have to be okay with that. Certain relationships are also for a season while some lasts for a lifetime, you should be able to appropriately differentiate and align yourself.

Thanks so much for this piece Favourite. 

I totally agree that one should be strategic in building relationships, but I quite think this ought to be reserved for specific relationships. Situational relationships are completely inevitable, unless you live alone, under a rock, on an island. It's left for us to make the most out of it. 



  1. Hmm. Dear Favorite. You are somewhat deep. I like the short piece.

    All my relationships are situational. Because Kon will never move a muscle to be somebody's friend. It has to come naturally. But I have to work on that. I know so many people (Im connected like that) and it just occurred to me that I have not really gotten the best from knowing those people. I could have stretched my hand of friendship and gotten some benefits from them. After-all, thats how people blow in Nigeria- Simply based on relationships.

    One of the things Ill work on in 2017.


    1. Thank you Kon

      YES. You really should get the best from your relationships this year,thats how situational relationships become intentional. What's makes it all the more beautiful is when it's give and take


      Lols,i just had to add that


  2. Beautiful and insightful piece Favorite.
    Most of my friendships are situational. Can't remember any intentional one 🤔
    How do we go about it though... for shy people like me.... where do you even find people you want to be intentional friends with.

    1. Kabuoy is now claiming "shy people".

      The End is truly Nigh...

    2. So you are still claiming #teamShy, seriously?

      For people you want to build intentional relationships with, oh well,you just do it. For the real shy people like us, you do it with your heart in your throat.

      Personally, I am a deep believer in your gifts making way for you. And i mean that physically,i remember when I was in Uni and I had like 10 people in final year I wanted to be connected with, what I did was buy 10 inspirational books, wrote a couple of things about them I liked on it,walked up to each of them and gave them. Oh well,i was scared but I was determined to do it.Thankfully they were nice and receptive, I am sure they were wondering who is this smallie,lols.

      And then recently been an entrepreneur I wanted to establish a relationship with an entrepreneur who I had been stalking his page on IG for like a long time, plus I had always had it in mind to 'give up' using his business as a point of contact, so One of this days after he put up a post on IG,i chatted him on whatsapp, basically told him I had been following/stalking him on IG, told him I run a business too and I wanted to 'give up' to his business(not trying to be spiricoco but thats what I felt God lay on my heart time and time again).

      So I did the transfer(kept wondering girl what are you doing?), anyways he calls me afterwards and a relationship has been established. Ta-da

      So Kabuoy,just make a move, establish a relationship, don't kiss ass but be nice and present yourself to the person in the best possible light. And really your gifts do make way for you, if it's a mentorship relationship,you might meet the person and then sign up to be their PA for one Saturday or event or something.


    3. Thanks Favorite. I'll keep that in mind.
      And I'm really shy. *side eye* at you and Memphis 😒

  3. Thank you so much for this piece Favourite.
    I was adjusting myself to start reading the post but alas it has finished.
    The last paragraph spoke to me directly, as in it hit the nail on the head. Thanks once again.

    1. Thank you for reading Hope.

      Lols @adjusting myself to start reading the post but alas it has finished, I actually didnt want to make it too long lest I miss the cogent message or lose my audience


  4. Nice post Favourite!

    Certainly agree with the importance of relationships and the need for one to evaluate if one's relationships serve a purpose and if the purpose served fits into one's desires. The need to also do a 'benefit-cost' analysis of relationships cannot be overemphasized.

    1. Pls expantiate on the benefit-cost analysis of rltnships... tnk u.

    2. Thank you Chris. Especially for the practical advice in doing this.

      Yes keh,definitely Cost-benefit analysis biko, as there might be a need to restructure a relationship if the cost is higher than the benefits.


    3. @ Anonymous

      I believe Favourite has done a good job responding to your inquiry.

      In addition, I feel relationships can be looked at as an investment; which comes at the cost of one's time, emotions, perhaps money also etc. It behooves one to ensure that benefits derived from the relationship outweigh the costs invested. I must also mention that benefits need not be financial or material only.

      @ Favourite

      You are welcome.....always welcome.

    4. Hey Chris, my intentonalove friend.

    5. Hi Clare, my amazing friend.

  5. Very insightful post.

    All of my relationships are also situational but my office does this thing where you have to have a career mentor, like, it's compulsory for your confirmation and every year, a whole calendar is planned around your mentor helping you to build/improve on yourself and your career and it forms a percentage of your appraisal too.

    I can't remember anytime until now when I had to deliberately choose someone to be a friend/mentor.

    I need to be more deliberate in choosing my relationships. Even the great ones I have that came "situationally", I take them for granted.

    Thank you for this.

    1. Hi Sunshine, in light of this post, I'd like to move our relationship from situationall to intentional. Pls send me your number


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.