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Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Husband Privileges Are For Husbands!





For seven years he was my only boyfriend. I moved in with him after 1 & half years of our relationship. On the third year I hinted marriage subject. He ignored it. I abandoned the subject and continued to be good to him. Yes I was good to him, in everyway. One Sunday evening, (is it evening or afternoon?) whatever you call that time of the day, we were watching Our Perfect Wedding and it was a chance for me to start the subject again. He then started to caugh, I gave him amanzi and the coughing stopped. I told myself that today he will speak to me about this. And indeed he responded. .

Babe, I just got a new job which pays more money for me to can be able to afford lobola and other stuff. I smiled. There was hope... 7 years into the relationship, and 13 months in his new job.....i am still hoping. You should see his 6 roomed house. I cleaned it, did washing and ironing, I cook, baked 
for him, I even bought the most beautiful curtains and bedding in all 3 bedrooms. You should see the 

pots I use....i bought them at Queens with my bonus last year. And every time he hosts his friends at home for their usual social codesa gatherings, I use the best dishes and glasses. He loves it when they tell him he has done well for himself.


I think I have collected about a hundred and seventy eight CDs that I have been buying for him as presents over the past seven years. There is also a Lee Oscar CD there. He uses 3 ply toilet paper.
Okay...i went to his office after he asked me to pass by one day because I left my job early and when I got there at reception, the receptionist (Michelle) called his office and told him "there is a lady at reception by the name of Phindi for you."



Let me cut a long story short and say to you that today as I'm seated here (Sat 24 Dec 2016)

Thabiso is getting married to the receptionist (Michelle) in Witbank.
I am back home. .

And you know what? My mother's home was neglected all these years by me. The curtains in this house are torn and worn out. Bedding is embarrassing I can't even open the bedroom door. Old and burnt Hart pots and no decent glass to have my Schweppes Granadilla. I use lebekere. Thabiso told me it is over and he fell in love le Michelle on the 6th week at his new job and he wants to bring her to his home, I should therefore make way for her. He paid lobola while I was still cleaning his house and cooking his favorite meal braaipap and cooked short ribs. .


All my things are still at his house and I did not fetch them because I kept hoping that he will one day call me and tell me that he did a mistake and he wants me to come back. It is now 9 

months since I left and he hasn't called. I passed by his house one day in my friend's car and she was washing my curtains.

Michelle the receptionist was washing my curtains. She has 2 kids. I have none. She has him, I don't.


I'm shattered. But tomorrow I'm going to buy curtains for my mother at Marabastad. They are nice and affordable. Will add 6 glasses, 4 cups and a kettle. There is no kettle at home.

Thabiso has my 3 piece Russell Hobbs set and my Woolworth towels.....and Michelle has the ring, but I cooked for him
💔💔💔


***


Source @nigerianwedding (Instagram). I don't know if this is a work of fiction but i do know that this is so many young women's reality. It's such a sad situation. We keep hearing, don't give boyfriends "husband privileges" but some of us naively think the best way to make him husband is to give him husband privileges. 

I hope we stay guided...






.

14 comments:

  1. If he is not talking marriage after at most 4 years and he is in a good place to get married, skip biko. Don't be spending your money building a home for someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is funny.

    Just yesterday I was telling a friend the same thing. No girl should ever clean a guys house, wash his clothes, buy things in his house etc until you guys are on the path to marriage.
    Personally, I hate girls doing anything for me. Dont come to my house and even wash the plate your ate from. Leave it! Ill wash it myself.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My girlfriends won't listen
      I don talk tire

      Delete
    2. The washing of clothes part, I just hate/loathe/detest aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!

      Delete
    3. I like to do some certain things myself so it won't even work out with a GF trying to clean my house

      Delete
  3. I think this(staying guided) goes for both parties, if you are gonna invest this much emotions,energy and resources into bae....what are you doing for yourself? It's common for some men of a certain tribe to sponsor a young lady through school while staying uneducated themselves. It's just so unreasonable, what about you?

    Finally no matter how 'nice' you are to bae,bae will still marry someone else if he/she wants to. Do not suffocate bae with your 'overdo',give it your best shot but don't be excessive. it's been often proven 'when the desirable becomes too available, pretty much soon it won't be desired again'

    Favourite

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kai
    This babe have very soft heart

    ReplyDelete
  5. A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE

    People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business,they'll say "Ahh Oga Ejike,go and marry so you'll stop washing".

    They'll see a man cooking and be like "Bro Ade,you need to get married so you can stop cooking".

    A mother will look at his 35years old son who cannot wash his own boxers,boil water for tea or even make his own bed....a 35years old that cannot take his plates to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James,you need to settle down....get a woman to take care of you".

    In different ways,the society subconsciously tell men that they don't marry women for any reason other than cleaning,cooking and childbearing.

    I begin to wonder,does the average Nigerian man need a wife or a glorified maid?
    Many women look 3times their age because of stress and exhaustion.

    You sit down in front of the TV with your phone a d watch your wife work until she's about to pass out.

    Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates?
    Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes?
    Who told you that it is wrong to dress your bed when you wake up?
    What will it take to help your partner with chores in the house?

    If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet,pampered, fed and nursed. Then,he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be pick up.

    If you want a wife.....then get wife.
    But if you are getting married because you feel you're becoming too old to do your own chores then get a maid. May the good Lord give all men the divine grace of positive understanding to assist their wives daily.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sad.

    This is indeed the reality of loads of babes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Too many women are hustling for marriage with the wrong set of men. The assumption is if you kill him with kindness and smother him, he will choose you. Experience cobtibues to show many men end up with the women they have to audition for and get her attention. Men also seem to like women for whom they continously audition for.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, too many women are hustling for marriage! Many have lost their identities in the quest too grab a man.

      Sad thing is that many of these girls don't even want any counsel. O ti su mi!

      Delete
  8. Read this viral heartbreaking story

    This story has gone viral on Facebook and I thought I share with you guys...

    "For seven years he was my only boyfriend.
    I moved in with him after 1and half years of our relationship. On the third year I hinted marriage subject. He ignored it. I abandoned the subject and continued to be good to him. Yes I was good to him, in everyway
    One Sunday evening, (is it evening or afternoon?) whatever you call that time of the day, we were watching Our Perfect Wedding and it was a chance for me to start the subject again. He then started to caugh, I gave him amanzi and the coughing stopped. I told myself that today he will speak to me about this. And indeed he responded. Babe, I just got a new job which pays more money for me to can be able to afford lobola and other stuff.
    I smiled. There was hope...
    7 years into the relationship, and 13 months in his new job.....i am still hoping.
    You should see his 6 roomed house. I cleaned it, did washing and ironing, I cook, baked for him, I even bought the most beautiful curtains and bedding in all 3 bedrooms. You should see the pots I use....i bought them at Queens with my bonus last year. And every time he hosts his friends at home for their usual social codesa gatherings, I use the best dishes and glasses. He loves it when they tell him he has done well for himself.
    I think I have collected about a hundred and seventy eight CDs that I have been buying for him as presents over the past seven years. There is also a Lee Oscar CD there. He uses 3 ply toilet paper.
    Okay...i went to his office after he asked me to pass by one day because I left my job early and when I got there at reception, the receptionist (Michelle) called his office and told him "there is a lady at reception by the name of Phindi for you."
    Let me cut a long story short and say to you that today as I'm seated here (Sat 24 Dec 2016) Thabiso is getting married to the receptionist (Michelle) in Witbank.
    I am back home.
    And you know what? My mother's home was neglected all these years by me. The curtains in this house are torn and worn out. Bedding is embarrassing I can't even open the bedroom door. Old and burnt Hart pots and no decent glass to have my Schweppes Granadilla. I use lebekere. Thabiso told me it is over and he fell in love le Michelle on the 6th week at his new job and he wants to bring her to his home, I should therefore make way for her. He paid lobola while I was still cleaning his house and cooking his favorite meal braaipap and cooked short ribs.
    All my things are still at his house and I did not fetch them because I kept hoping that he will one day call me and tell me that he did a mistake and he wants me to come back. It is now 9 months since I left and he hasn't called. I passed by his house one day in my friend's car and she was washing my curtains.
    Michelle the receptionist was washing my curtains.
    She has 2 kids. I have none.
    She has him, I don't.
    **********
    I'm shattered. But tomorrow I'm going to buy curtains for my mother at Marabastad. They are nice and affordable.
    Will add 6 glasses, 4 cups and a kettle. There is no kettle at home.
    Thabiso has my 3 piece Russell Hobbs set and my Woolworth towels
    .....and Michelle has the ring But I cooked for him"

    ReplyDelete
  9. I didn't even bother to read her story to the end after the first few lines. She should take heart and move biko I cannot speak English.


    If I am to do anything at the guys house, it is either I am also in need of the act or I decided to do something special for him. I cannot come and go die because of a man.



    All these story that touch makes me want to smash my phone reason why I don't bother reading them.


    *QuirkyMoi*

    ReplyDelete
  10. I would need to invite my friend to come read this because each time I talk to her about not giving husband privileges,she thinks am being overly harsh. Giving husband privilege doesn't guaranty you a place in his heart and home... if I hear say I wash man cloth,Shey me I don wash my own finish niii. rubbish. who husband privilege epp.

    ReplyDelete

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