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Tuesday, 24 January 2017

I Fear The Teething Stage!





Yes, Tonto Dike's marriage has been all over the news of late and that's quite sad. But the comment I saw on Bella Naija directed at Tonto made me smile, sadly. 

Tonto marriage is not an easy one and who ever says it is or makes it look like it is is nothing but a pretender covering up buried skeletons. 

What you and hubby are going through is called the teething stage of a marriage and EVERY marriage undergoes it. Teething stage follows right after the honey moon stage. But sadly it lasts longer than the honey moon stage. It can last from 2-4/5 years after the honey moon stage is over. Honey moon stage lasts only 6months to 2 years for the lucky few who can enjoy it for up to 2 years. But like it or not teething stage follows right after. 

It can propagated by bad inlaws, bad habits of either spouses not completely checked prior to getting married or loose women or men out there or husband thieves as I choose to call them. . 

It is at this teething stage that the wiser men adopt a more tolerant and mature approach to his marriage being the leader of the home as he ought to be and the women would adopt the stooping to conquer technique. Not that she’s a fool, but If she has been lucky to have been advised properly by the best hands she will successed and not only that but eventually be the boss of the marriage too!.
For the woman, teething stage is not a time to act the boss, be in charge or wear the pants in the home. If you do so or even come close to doing it, the man will resent you. It is a time to let him believe he is the boss but time will tell that as you diligently take care of your kids and the home coupled with having your own career as someone at least financially independent, in time the tide will turn he will gradually defer to you naturally and unfussed. 

Teething stage is the most painful cos it is actually when you’re learning yourselves as husband and wife. It is the most painful time of marriage life but does not last forever and it is the time which determines which marriages will crash or last and stand the test of time."


You know, I'm not married but I fear this. I know it will come and I'm wondering am I mature enough to handle that? Will I cave in and bow out? Will he be patient, wise and mature enough to weather those storms? Will we both, or either of us, look else where for solace?

Hmm. Are you married? Do you agree with the comment above? Have you experienced teething stage? What's it's like, what's your coping mechanism? Please share. 





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13 comments:

  1. Am I the only one that doesn't know the recent info about Tonto Dike's marriage??? Errrm....all these psychological answers, as much as it may be true, its not something to fear. Chrisyinks

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  2. I'm married, four years this year. No I haven't experienced the teething stage or whatever they call it. We're both emotionally mature and can handle issues without anybody loosing their heads. So nope I don't think every marriage has to go through any teething stage. If you and your partner understand each other, communicate with each other and not afraid to register a dislike in a very civil manner, then it would be smooth sailing all through just like its been for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear i tire O! Marriages crash even after 17 years. Teething stage ko!

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    2. Anon thank you for saving me from typing much. You have said it all....I am almost 3 years in tgis marriage thing and I don't understand this whole teething stage and that stage talk.

      www.pynk360.com

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    3. And thank you for the frank feedback

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  3. With each passing day,the fear of being married just keeps gripping me due to all the news i hear on daily basis,not just celebrities but even those who are not in the limelight and i keep wandering,is it really worth it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need to stop been fearful babe.

      Sure there are great marriages and you are going to have one too

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    2. DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS, Nobody's write-up or personal experience or statistics or general consensus can ever apply to me. With God's grace, a couple creates their own future and marital atmosphere.
      A Girl

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  4. The foundation of the relationship also matters.

    *QuirkyMoi*

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  5. Yeah, I thought I was going crazy. He had an older cousin that was a chronic womanizer and drinks.He was always hanging out with them and returning late.I hated alcohol and the smell of it on his breath was driving me crazy.
    I was lonely, I wanted to end the marriage, there was really no point holding on when he preferred to be with his cousin and friends.It was more like I was angry everyday.He said I wanted to scatter his family, I told him his cousin was going to scatter his marriage.I became a nag,I stopped calling to know where he was and we were more like roommates,but we were able to overcome that period.He had issues with his cousin and things became better.Its seven years now and I just thank God I never gave up on my marriage.

    B

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    Replies
    1. Thank you mam. I went through my teething stage from the very first year. Had a few bad habits I needed to quit. Lingered for like two years. We are genuine best friends now and I'm so glad we didn't give up too. So thankful for the man I married.

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  6. This is so disgusting to read. It's another attempt at putting all marriage efforts on the woman. Marriage is between two parties who are supposed to be on the same page in order for it to work. I've been married for 3 years plus and didn't experience what that lady is talking about and neither about to. The foundation of a relationship always comes to play. You can't marry a cheat and then expect otherwise or marry someone who isn't supposed to be a husband in the first place.

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