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The Heartbreak Cycle

 I'm sure most of the guys here can relate. 

You know, I'm female but I've always thought about it, a million young men have lost love to that older guy who can give bae just what she needs. 

And yes, I've heard them ask "can't you just wait for me for 3 or 4 years?" as if 3 or 4 years is beans 😂. 

But that's not even the reservation I have. My own is what happens when she waits for you for those years and the time comes and 
a) You still never blow
b) Your feelings have changed
c) You still haven't grown
d) You've both outgrown each other
e) Other possibilities 

Yeah, so time wasted. 

But still, I empathize and sympathize with young men at this stage, this is something that most men must pass through. 

Oh, I also have some empathy for the young ladies who have to sacrifice love for "common sense" and marry that older guy who is "ready" and can give them the things they need; marriage, security, a family  etc...

So come and tell me, all these men on this blog. I know this has either happened or is happening to you. Tell us about it. 

Ladies, have you ever been the girl above? The one who had to dump her boyfriend for her husband? Did it hurt? Any regrets? Do you think you did the right thing?

And do we have any rarities? Those who stuck with each other and waited for the other person to be ready and got married? Hmmm... Please come through, let's talk about it. 

As for me, I'm a mere spectator. Maybe one of these days we'll talk about why when I was younger I never appealed much to young guys... 😔😪😢😝

photo via @ucheukonujnr (instagram)



  1. Never been in that position and don't have anyone close who has also. Looking forward to reading comments.


  2. My husband's case is almost similar. His ex, they dated for four years, met in school, same age... Fast forward after their Nysc, she told him she needed to be married cos her younger sister is married with a kid and she's the Ada. Hubby wasn't ready, I'm mean he was still job hunting. Ex told him he needn't have money, daddy would take care of err'tin and even gift them a house but hubby was having non of that. Well she married someone else in less than six months, but I think her heart is still with my man cos she was/is always calling forming checking up. Now she's divorced so I guess she would be telling herself now "mahn I shoulda waited 3yrs when he told me to". Her loss, my gain. Tada!

    1. Watch your back. She doesnt want to marry your man, she wants love form him. She wants him to be showing her concern, check on her etc. na so e dey start. Very soon it will be "I miss you", then hang outs and long hugs. Then....Bang!


  3. Okay oh
    I will be reading comments

  4. C'est la vie..

    One day,the age factor wldnt be an issue too. While he was 24yrs old,there was prolly a 29yr old lady ready for marriage but age (and something else) no gréé them consider the possibility.

  5. well, i dated my first bf all though uni (4 years) and 1 year after, we are both 25 years now..i had to break it off because i felt he wasn't just there yet!.. he's still job hunting, has refused to go to grad school (his folks can afford it), if mine could, il definitely go back to school but i had to settle for a post grad certificate which i paid for from my current low paying job!..i feel with him i have to advise, correct, maybe babysit and fuck at the end ? how do i respect that kind of man ? don't get me wrong, he is a good guy, really nice and good to me BUT i was tired..( my mom thinks he's good for me as we have opposite personalities and I should be with a man that always seeks my approval)
    here i am, trying to get my life together, applying for jobs and just thinking I am going to be 30 soon, i need financial and career growth in my life and i should come and put his matter on my head ? I had to let him go.. our suffer head was too much for me.. I know he still wants me, but I'm not sure I do (we've broken up 3-4 times now).. i need to move on.
    as for 2017, i am open to meeting nice guys who are confident and knows how to take care of a lady.

    1. Eya....

      These girls aint loyal.


  6. Lol @ Sasha


  7. Woah still in the regretting phase. Cos I was in 300 level in Uni and his direct entry was still difficult (he finished OND) after calculating his future for him (like I was God) I felt I couldn't wait and he was hurt but agreed. Now am here single as hell and one girl small girl is all over his dp. Clearly he's over me and I am still not over him. Hence I regret why I was in a hurry to leave the relationship. BTW he's schooling now and working as well.

    1. Pele. Stop regretting.

    2. But does dp show that he's really into her and that they're in a good place?
      Anyway I said stop regretting.


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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
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Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

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him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


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That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
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