January isn't a month in which I'd like to rant but he made me.
*Kola has been asking me out for a while now. My former boss and some others said Kola is a big boy o! Don't use him to play o! The chics were even more enthralled, Kola is single (divorced) and what's more; an "island big boy".
Supposed island big boy.
Hmm, besides the fact that my heart is elsewhere, me sha I didn't really like Kola o! But they say "you're single until there's a ring on your finger, never turn any guy down. You don't know for sure who is God's plan for you".
Anyways, long story short, last night Mr Island Boy Boy called to ask if I have Uber. I said yes. He asked if I can request a cab for him in the morning, he said he usually parks his car at the airport when travelling but the last time he parked his Range, when he came back it had been slightly defaced.
So I asked what time his flight was and told him it wasn't a problem. His flight was for 9am, he said he wanted to leave home at 7am, I said that's fine.
So I was surprised when he called my phone at 6am this morning and asked me to request the Uber now now. I told him that if I requested it then, a cab would be there in 2 minutes, so was he sure he was ready? He said yes.
I requested the cab and gave him the address. I was shocked when over an hour later, I looked at my app and saw that they werent even halfway to the airport!
An hour later, a very irate Uber driver called me, and from his tone I knew something had gone wrong.
"Madam, when I got there in the morning, he kept me waiting for ten minutes, when he finally came down, he said he is purging that he wants to go and poopoo. He now went for almost 15 minutes. When he finally came down again he said he first wants to go and and pay for something in the gym, that I should take him. Then by the time we came out to start going, traffic had started. The man now started to curse me. He said that it is my fault that there is traffic, that if he miss his flight he will have me arrested. Madam this man abused me from lekki till we reach the airport. Nobody has ever abused me in my life like that, he was just shouting and complaining till we reached the airport. Ok madam, we now reached, his money was N5,800. This man said he will pay me 2000. I thought he was joking but he came out of the car and said I should open the boot. He removed his box and threw 2000 Naira on me, that if I don't want to take the money I should leave it on the floor. So, madam I have reported to Uber. I just called to tell you that you are owing Uber 3,800 Naira".
I don't even know what part of this story is pissing me off. I've always said people should be wary of a divorced man who blames the divorce ENTIRELY on his ex wife and never once suggests that he may have had a single role to play in it. If this happened, only God knows what former Mrs Kola must have had to put up with.
But that's all beside the point. Why a man approaching 40 would behave this way baffles me. If the taxi was not an Uber then I would have thought the driver wasn't being entirely honest with me. But Uber drivers often are very polite, even when provoked.
I have been calling Kola since morning for my 3,800 but he's yet to answer my call.
On the bright side, Kola has given me valid reason to disfriend him, as I've wanted to from Day 1. I don't think that's God plan for my future. Thank you.
How are things going at your end?