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WTF Is Wrong With Some Women?


A good maid is hard to find these days. Especially when there are little kids at home who have come to like the maid. 

But really, how much should a woman take all in the name of keeping a good house help?

Last week I told y'all about how my sister's house help, *Ann fell victim to these local scammers that hypnotize unknowing people and make them bring all the valuables at home. She packed my sister's gold, watches and some other jewelry. We later we found that she also gave them my sister's coral beads, some new perfumes and my brother in law's wristwatches. 

The girl (errrrm not a girl exactly. She's in her mid-late 20s) said they took her phone and her ATM cards. She told us that she had at least 100k in each account and that they'd withdrawn from both accounts. My sister went to the banks the next day and was able to check if withdrawals had been made from the accounts on that day and they were actually made. The monies were withdrawn from Abeokuta. The "charming" incident took place in Lekki. 

But, upon further investigation my sister learnt each account had less than 20k in it, contrary to the 130k and 110k she said she had. 

Still, we thought she'd lied just so my sister would probably reimburse her to the tune of what she claimed they'd stolen from her. We still believed that she was a victim of local scammers. 

However on Thursday morning my sister searched her bags and found both ATM cards and her phone which she'd claimed was stolen. Apparently she switched the phone off and hid it in her bag. This means that this girl is a criminal who actually works with some accomplices (the person(s) who made the withdrawals from Abeokuta, and came back to lekki to return the cards). 

From the day this lady claimed she was charmed my parents both insisted that it was a lie and that my sister should have her arrested immediately! My sister refused, saying that she believd she was charmed and that she saw her after the incident, and she couldn't have been acting, that she was very shaken up, she was screaming, crying, shivering and very incoherent. Actually, my cousin who was home at the time said the same thing too; that it couldn't have been an act. 

After we learnt that she lied about how much was stolen, my sister should have taken action, but she still made excuses for her, that she just wanted to be given money. 

Well now that my sister has found that she is living with a criminal, you'd think that she would immediately call the police. Well, you're wrong. 

On Thurday when this happened, I was in the East. I asked my sister when she's having her arrested, she said on Monday. I asked why she's waiting till Monday and she said she has a busy weekend so...

Mind you, this is the same house help that I told y'all was caught red handed by the other house-help stealing money from my sister's bag some months back. I also told my sister that she steals my money when I'm around too. But my sister decided not to confront her, because "when they know that you know that they steal, they will become uncomfortable and leave your house". Duhhh!

Hmm.. So we decided to be more careful with our money in the house. All because "she is good with the children"

But now that this happened I'd expected my sister to swing into immediate action. Since she said Monday, I decided to wait for Monday. Today is Monday. 

I have asked my sister this morning when she's having this girl picked up. My sister's response "But if I arrest her, who will look after the children?"  

See, I know finding a good helping can be very hard, especially when they're good with the children, and the children have gotten used to them. But...

A few years back, I read somewhere, maybe on SDK, about a woman who lost her maid to her husband. As in, hubby threw her out and married the maid. Apparently she'd known that the girl was sleeping with her husband but refused to send her away because she was very hardworking and the children liked her. Some comments on that post actually showed that she wasn't alone; a few other women admitted to looking the other way when they found out the maid was sleeping with the husband, because either they're very hardworking, or good with the children. 

But those are faceless people on the Internet, so their stories may or may not be true. Now just on Saturday I met someone who is in this same situation. Husband is sleeping with house help. She said he will eventually get tired but she isn't sending the girl away because where will she find another girl that can work, cook, and look after the kids as well as she does?

What is wrong with these people? I know, yes I know that finding good house-helps can be very hard, especially when they take care of your kids well, especially for a working mother in Lagos who can barely catch her breath. And yes, I know that one must overlook certain things when it comes to domestic staff otherwise you will keep getting new ones every other week. But how much is a person supposed to overlook?

(Ps; *Ann has just been picked up by the popo). 



  1. I don't look the other way o, mbanu. Once you steal, no matter how fantastic you are with my kids i will throw you out. Soldier come, soldier go, barracks remains the same. Some women can be plain lazy. From 14th January till today, I've had 3 maids, on my 3rd. i can't stand lazy liars or those that come in with seductive spirits. 1st was a liar, 2nd came with contraceptives. 3rd seems ok so far. i no fit shout

    1. Contra gini! The spirits in pple eh! Well who knows, she may had experienced evil while at work for former employers. Aliswell.

  2. The struggles of being a working mom.
    This article right here reminds me of the movie- sex and the city 2...when Charlotte had a hot nanny nicknamed 'nannygobraless' and she admitted in a drunken state that her greatest fear wasn't losing her husband but losing the nanny.

    It's tough...but for me, stealing is an absolute NO-NO. Someone who steals can connive with kidnappers to kidnap your children.


  3. Funny. But I kinda get it.

    These househelps are superwomen. Imagine - they take care of kids, wash, cook, clean, and still straff hband. So madam basically has nothing to do when she gets home. No chores, no hband to disturb for sex. If that househelp leaves and the next one cant do everything....problem!


    1. Well I empathize with my sis and others in her shoes tbh. In her own case, hubby doesn't live in the country and she works 7 days a week most weeks, leaves home before 7am doesn't get back till about 9pm so the need for these helps is very real. Only option is quit working or look for a new job, both not viable at the moment. So I really understand why some women get tempted to look the other way sometimes. I just worry that sometimes some tend to overdo this looking the other way ish.

      Btw have you seen the picture of the woman who cut off her hubby penis and used it to cook indomie cos she caught him sleeping with the maid? Now that's someone who doesn't know what it means to look the other way at all. 😳😳😳.

    2. Cook indomie with husband's dick keee,Choiii am shocked. all these.helps and their problems though. God help me,I don't think I need a Help no.matter how stressful my job is,I think I rather choose between my job and the safety of my kids. maybel

    3. which is more important?your family or your job?working u days a week and leaving your kids to grow up with a nanny??how do you even know what these people get up to with your kids?i have seen too much to be comfortable leaving my kids with a help for this long..well,life is full of choices:she can choose to work her butt off and put her kids in 'danger' or she can decide to quit/find a more flexible option and have more time for her kids...

  4. What stops her from conniving with thieves to come at night to steal or even during the day and what if things go wrong and someone gets hurt? She must produce her accomplices o.Do you know she will keep upping her game as long as she gets away with it? next thing is kidnapping for ransom.

    She is a real criminal, had someone use her ATM in another state??? Do you see the planning that went into this. If she had keys please change the locks. How does she even have access to your sister's room?

  5. Yep. I didn't want to be the cynical one when I read your account last week about hypnotism and your maid, so I deleted the response I had initially composed. I’ve dealt with too many crooks with bolts missing from their heads for me to easily believe a hypnotism story like that. Not saying the hypnotism does not happen o, but I will first look at that story from like 20 different angles before I begin to consider whether or not the person may or may not be possibly telling something similar to the semblance of half of the truth.

  6. In the west people take care of their homes without the full time help we have in Nigeria. So how do they do it?

    The lady stole from your sister and all your sister could think about is how she is good with the children? Was she waiting for her to organise the kidnapping or worse of the same children?

    I have twins and I do not let any nanny sleep in their room overnight. As difficult as functioning off a few hours of sleep each night sometimes is- I am willing to do it. I have two nannies and when they come into the house, they don't have access to house keys, or the inside of the house. They only clean other parts and when I am ready, they clean sensitive parts of the house. For my children's nursery I have invested in multiple monitors so I know what is going on even when I am taking a shower. Security knows my children should not be outside the gate.
    As crazy as it sounds if these people arent around to work, the work will get done.

    They rarely cook for me, If I want to I eat part of what they cook for themselves. I cook my husbands meals or he does it himself. I dont give access to closets etc after laundry, I put away clothes myself.

    Once my kids turn 2 or 3 I am going back down to one nanny.

    Folks need to stop making these people feel important and maintain actual control of their homes. Better yet install cameras and monitor them if your hustle is that important to you.

    My cousin whenever she travels - her kids and their nanny go to her moms house. And if her mom isnt around they go to her moms sisters house...doesnt matter if her husband is in Lagos or not at the time. My nannies are never alone with my kids - absolute worst I take them with me to my meetings if i cant drop them with my mom or MIL.

    Our children are more important than "things" but somehow too many people take it for granted and leave them with just anybody.

  7. I don't know what it's like to be a working mum but looking the other way? That's just wrong mehn..

  8. It's sad and annoying that the help actually planned and executed this crime against someone who's even made excuses for her and hesitated to get her arrested.

    I'm thinking that if I were in a very tight situation as your sister is, I will probably forgive petty stealing and lock up every other thing. But the case of sleeping with one's husband and closing my eyes and brain because the help does all chores plus is good with the kids is absolutely no comprehensible!
    What nonsense please! I'd rather have the kids in childcare till 9pm and pick them when I get back.

    Like Teerexmusings said, a lot of women are / have grown / allow themselves to be lazy. So they allow rubbish for rubbish 'comfort'.
    If one has to change helps 72 times in a year to get one they approve of to a good extent, please buckle your shoes and so be it.

  9. Lol... Like I commented on the earlier post, it usually works on those who believe in it.

  10. Reminds me of the time we had this mega-kleptomaniac as a maid. Came home with about 120,000 once and girl cut about 20,000 before I could say jack. A primary school student oh. Someone saw her spending spree had upped more ante in school and alerted my mum. That was when it occurred to me to count my money. Could not believe my ears when instead of shouting at the girl,my mother and younger sister who was still at home turned and started shouting at me. How was I supposed to know you guys were living with a thief? I had brought back the money to prevent unnecessary bank trips and they should have warned us visiting folk about the girl,I said to them. Then I wondered why they were aiding and abetting a thief. Mum said she was the best maid she has had in years and was slowly reforming her until I came with my temptation. I hate house work and I would not do any if I can. Yet,no maids for me oh. I must find a cleaning service. As for children,nannies that come and go will do. Thank goodness for my profession,at least my nights will be free.

  11. Seems like I woke up to a varient of the same situation today! My mom's girl had a visit from someone she claimed is her brother yesterday morning and by evening she slipped out of the house and still hasn't returned. My sister n I tried calling her and the phone was switched off after it rang once. We called her aunt that brought her to tell her and the bio the alleged brother provided doesn't tally with what the aunt said. My brother is convinced that was her boyfriend and she just ran off with him.
    My annoyance isn't that she has a boyfriend but at the underhanded way she went about it. This obviously took some planning which she was/is complacent with. Now my mom has to drive to their place to let them know what she's about.
    This btw is someone who has been treated like my mother's last child: shopping trips, travels with my mom, we were even arranging a tutor for her to prepare for JAMB n she was taking baking lessons at one of the best outfits in town. Disappointed!

    1. Powers of her father's house would not let her stay somewhere where they can turn her life around! Sad!

  12. ....but some are are just the scum of the earth.sleeping with the maid .

    Please that maid should sleep in police cell for 1 week
    All the items will comeback.

    Stop giving maids full access to the house in ur absence
    Put cameras everywhere . Please let be careful.

  13. Thank goodness you sis finally did something. Heaven forbid she moves on to something serious like kidnapping the kids.




  14. It's really annoying if someone took your favorite perfumes. I have faced the same situations before. There were lots of Bvlgari collection on my shelves but my little sister took some forcefully :) I know that's painful.


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