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Showing posts from February, 2017

Letter To My Ex's Bae

So as the month of love comes to an end, I'm allowed to be salty and venture into the less sugary side of love. I think about my last ex from time to time because, well, I don't have amnesia. 
I love Adele's song "Give my love to your new lover, treat her better...."
I always say Adele which one consign you with your ex's new lover? Abeg mind your business and face your own bae. 
But truth be told, sometimes we think about the person who's with our ex now and we can't help but wonder how the relationship is. Some Exs were actually really great, don't get me wrong. But some were real douchebags. Either ways no one is ever perfect so if you're to advice your ex's current boo based on the experiences you had in the relationship, what would you say?
Mine would read like this
Dear *Nna's bae, He has a thing for younglings, JAMB and WAEC candidates are his preference so if you see any of your little neighbour's lingering around, b…

Thank You My Awesome-Tastic TTB Readers!!!

Dearest thelma, words cannot express how grateful I am for what u and my fellow bvs have done. Dearest thelma, I want you to know that u are loved by many (especially bvs). U sud see the love and support shown to me by these angels and beautiful souls. Ha thelma, the world loves u o. To sunshine(my first caller),tiwa,ibukunoluwa, kon, tokunbo, nneka,isoken, yetunde,... God bless u all. As you have shown me love, the love of christ will never elude you all and your household. You all will never be stranded in life. And to thelma who made this possible by posting my plea, God will always be there for you whenever u need him. We have been discharged and we are home now. God Almighty bless u all.

Oh wow! How do I even begin to thank you awesome people for reaching out to this lady and actually being a blessing in her life? God bless, replenish and enrich you all. Thank you! I thank God mother and child are fine now. 
In case you didn't see the previous mail read it below. I'm pos…

5 Things About Femi Adesina's Juvenile Reaction To MrPresident's "Surprise" Phone Call.

If this account shared by Femi Adesina on Saturday the 25th of February is not juvenile, then I don't know what is. 
In case you haven't read it, he said: At exactly 2.43 p.m today, Saturday, February 25, 2017, my phone rang. Who was at the other end? Tunde Sabiu, personal assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari. "Hold on for Mr President," Tunde said. And in a matter of seconds, the very familiar voice came: "Femi, how are you?" (He calls me Adesina most times, but today, he opted for Femi) I screamed :"Mr President, I have missed you. How are you sir?" He first laughed. That familiar laugh. Then he said: "I am still resting. Thank you for holding out against mischief makers." I said it was my duty, the very least I could do, adding how happy I was to speak with him. "How is your family?" I said we were fine, and he asked me to extend his greetings to them. "I hope to call you again, " Mr President said, and I bade him farewe…

Who LBS Help?

So I've been yearning to go for a business course for sometime now. My plan initially was either South Africa, Nairobi or Dubai. But with the shape my year is taking, travel looks somewhat tentative. 
So... I'm thinking what course can I take here while I work. 
I discuss this with every business minded person I meet. 
Last week I met a lady on the WhatsApp group for the team members of a conference coming up later in the year. I'm the team lead for the event-planning. I got talking to her in a private chat and it was so seemless; one of those people that you're just destined to meet. She is also a lawyer, also an events planner, we went to law school and were called to the Bar together, and coincidentally we have a lot of mutual friends. 
We were trying to pick a date for our first meeting when she said she had classes on that day, she's in business school. 
I simply presumed that she meant LBS (Lagos Business School) but I soon learnt that she meant LLBS  (Leading Lad…

Dear Thelma (How Soon Is Too Soon?)

Happy Sunday my fellow TTB lovers. Please come together and put mouth in my issue. How long should you date somebody before you marry please? I met him end of December and he proposed this month. Actually from the week that we met he told me that he wants to get married, he is not ready for games or dating or anything like that. He believes that he is a good person and that I'm one too, and that any issue or surprise that arises in marriage, we will both work together and deal with it. I have met his siblings and dad, he has met my mum. Mum is fine with it because I'm getting older, she just says as long as he will love and cherish me like his own sister, it's ok. She also says it's okay if I don't love him now, that people can fall in love while married, and that its even better that way. Hmm, what do you think?  
I know this guy really wants to settle down again (married once with two kids, he said the marriage failed partly because of immaturity, he got married a…

Sisi Vero!

After the first interview I was so done with her, like soooo done! Her eyes kept straying to her phone, and this one time my phone rang, it was my guy from Nigerian Breweries calling to know what drinks I needed. The second I picked his call she jumped up and went to makes hers outside. Her call took longer than mine. She casually strolled back minutes later and gingerly perched her pert bum on the seat. 
I was done!
But she resurfaced later and I really needed someone so I let her come onboard. 
A few days after she resumed I had a staff meeting, sat them all down and told them how things will be going forward. They listened quietly with sombre expressions, the air was tense, like they all had things weighing heavy on their minds. Talk done, I asked them if they had any thing they wanted to talk about and immediately they all started to talk at once, each one struggling to be heard above the others. All except Vero. I calmed them down and we took it one at a time. One after the other th…

When You Miss The One Who Hurt You The Most...

I drove passed Diamond Bank somewhere along the airport axis today and I reached for my phone, wanting to call her. My heart sank realizing that I couldn't. 
I sunk into the seat seething, I miss her deeply, I desperately want to talk to her. She's just a phone call away but I can't. 
Maybe it does make sense in the way Stockholm syndrome makes sense...
But like Stockholm, it's simply absurd. 
Maybe it makes sense in the way a lover cheats or beats you or abuses you, yet you still love them. 
She was my closest friend. I'd heard terrible things that she did in the past. In fact, before I met her I'd heard her "friends" describe her as wicked, one said her heart is at her back, another said she's simply evil. 
I saw that evil with my eyes when we became friends, but it was always towards someone else, and so even though my eyes would fly wide open in shock at some of the things I saw her do, I always thought that I, Nwando, was immune. I knew she …

Photos. Dear BVs & Thelma... (TTB Help Centre needed ASAP; New Mum)

Dearest thelma, it is with a heavy
heart I write to you this morning. I have lost every hope
but there is dat little voice that still tells me that there
may be light at the end of the tunnel. Hmmmm. Dear nwando I
just got delivered of a bouncing baby boy and am still at
the hospital for 7days now. After delivery, my baby was
admitted for severe jaundice and he has been on phototeraphy
for a week now. 
Dear thelma the reason I am writing to you
is because I am so hopeless on how to pay the remaining
bill. I have been able to pay 20,000 but still have a
outstanding of 35,500.  Please
dear thelma I need your help and that of fellow bvs to help me out. I never knew delivery would be this expensive. It is
a teaching hospital yet things are so high. Dearest bvs pls
help a fellow blog visitor out and the almighty God I
serve will never keep u stranded. 
Also to help with food and
other things, I want to sell my phone( a bb bold5). It is
still in a very good and nice condition and my tv set(a
15inch samsung ).…

PunIntended: Unsolicited Opinions. Something Wicked: Movie Review & Other Things

Review Epilogue (because I’m cool like that)So, it was Sunday and church was over. The sad reality that I had exhausted my 2 weeks leave and was going to return to that soul crushing black hole of a job the next day, began to dawn on me. In a desperate bid to savor what was left of my freedom, I wanted to do something to lift my spirits. So, like every normal, non-dysfunctional, single male adult, I decided to go to the movies- alone. Still reeling from all the excitement and satisfaction I got from “The Wedding Party”, I decided to watch another Nollywood movie. 
The cinema closest to me is Genesis Deluxe at Lekki Palms. Among all the Naija movies they were showing, I settled for “Something Wicked” for a few reasons: The cast looked verypromising and I had stumbled on a series of tweets the previous day from one of its producers; she was soliciting for support, urging folks to go see the movie, apparently, the movie was made by a trio of independent filmmakers and this was their debut…

Dear Thelma... (It's Complicated).

My story may be complicated but Pls be patient with me. 
Few months ago I met a man at my friend's party, he is her husband's friend and it's as if he immediately developed feelings for me. After some weeks of ignoring him I noticed that I was having feelings for him too, so we started to spend more time talking and chatting. Shortly after that he asked me if I'm a relationship, I answered that yes I'm seeing someone. He was hurt and ended the call. 
I have been dating someone for sometime now, but he is married. I know it is wrong and I'm not proud about it, and I keep on asking God why the only man that has ever given me the kind of love, attention and care that I've always prayed for is a married man. I am not the kind of person to cause trouble nd I know that no matter how great our relationship is, we don't have a future together. I'm in love with my boyfriend but I don't want to wake up at 40 years and find that I wasted my best years with a…

Bob Risky, Tonto Dike & Just Why?

I'm here waiting for my flight, got to the airport early and I've seen most flights leave on schedule, yet while here I've heard three flight been cancelled. Can you guess what Airline...
Arik of course!
My only question is why the flying heck do people still fly Arik?
This has got to be one of the greatest mysteries in the world at the moment. 
So anyhoo, I got here too early and I've got lots of time on my hands to I'd share 3 things I saw on Instagram with you. 
The first is Bob Risky's new look. You like? Seriously though, you like? Some people have this theory that Bob Risky is not gay but created this persona and exploits for attention and popularity in order to sell his bkeaching products. What do you think?

Second is that someone actually Tonto Dike, (formerly?) Churchhill's Wikipedia page. See below. 

Seriously! Some people have all the time in the world. 
Lastly, this CV. 

Job seekers, maybe the reason you've not gotten that job is because yo…

Throwback Thursday. My First Love...

Last night, on the 15th, I wanted to take down the red and white balloons and ribbons I'd put up in the spirit of Valentine and just as the scissors made the first snip, a bunch of people raged uproariously. I was shocked by their collective protest.
"Don't take it down!" One tall, burly handsome guy said. I was surprised. Mr Macho has been coming around for years and we'd always exchange glances but never speak. He's one of the really masculine manly alpha male types, so I was taken aback when he lunged forward from his chair because I cut off a ribbon. 
"It's still Valentine, can't you see I'm still wearing my red", another cried, truly he wore a bold red shirt. Last I checked Valentine's Day is on the 14th, but okay...
I closed up at about 11.45pm and because it was quite late, I offered to give the DJ a ride to the bus stop. A young lady walked closely behind him, I soon learnt that she's his girlfriend who'd been watching h…

Mo'dash Wigs and Maregs Beauty World Discount Bouquet

So in the spirit of this season, Mo'Dash Wigs and Maregs Beauty World are bringing you a discount bouquet. You get a Whooping 50% discount on all customized wig packages, 50% discount on regular/ bridal makeovers and 10% discount on some of our makeup products. Yes, you read right! So what are you waiting for? Start placing your orders now!
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"Are You Deaf?", "Do Your Worst!" & "Marry Me And My Life Will Be Complete" (3 Things They Said To Me).

So I told y'all that I had to take time off everything else and dedicate the next months of my life to running, managing and transforming this great place called Chidoz 😍.
Basically for now it's mine; assets and liabilities. 
I can't go into all the details now but suffice it to say that it's really not an easy business to run, moreso when the majority your customers are not the cool kids that you're used to dealing with. 
I had to let go of some staff and until I hire the kind of staff I need, I remain short-staffed and this means that I have to not only interface but also tend to customers, on very busy nights. 
You see, I don't mind busy nights. Busy nights are good, busy nights mean mo'money. 
And I have never ever wanted to serve customers before, but when a business is in your hands, you will smile and do what needs to be done. 
This sometimes means joining the waiters to cater to customers on busy nights. 
It's actually fine. 
Until I come across so…

Spunk Or Shrew? You Decide.

Ace director and altogether super woman, Kemi Adetiba shared the mail above which she got from an 18 year old. 
Kemi obviously loved the young lady's straight talking ways and said "Abso-friggin-lutely ❤️ this email. She's got spunk. I gotta work with her somehow". 
Some of Kemi's followers applauded the young lady saying they admire her straight-talking, no-BS ways, others felt that the lady is disloyal and Kemi should not dare hire her! A few others even suggested that she has no "home training".
I read the mail and I felt that for someone like Kemi who obviously gets a tons of mails like this, you've got to find a way to set yourself apart. But "I plan to use you to make me more successful than you" got me wondering. 
Ambition is great but what's are your thoughts on this?

Happy Valentine's Day!

And at this beautiful moment I wish you love. 
I wish you love in your heart. 
I wish you love in your home. 
I wish you love all around you. 
I pray that you also show love. 
What have you awesome people planned for today? 
Are you spending it alone? It's alright, tell me. Are you okay? Are you feeling particularly lonely right now? Are you in a hurry for it to be all over? Are you wondering "when will it be my turn?"? "Is everything around you red yet you feel blue?  
I know only too well how you feel, I've been there many times. It's why I'd like us to talk about it. 
On the other hand, where are the lovers in the house? Oya give us gist, what have you planned for bae today? Come and nack us tory, and we want details too! 
TTB readers, I'm waiting for the day one of you would surprise me, just one! Yes I'm unabashedly vexing. Everytime my blog line rings (since yesterday) I think oh, maybe someone wants to surprise me, but it turns out to be the same &…

Goodbye Eric Arubayi.

Your death has been the most shocking and painful thing I've heard all year, yet I did not know you personally. I notice I'm not alone in my pain, I'm seeing several others, who either were personal friends of yours, or like me, knew and admired you from a distance. The one thing we share in common this Sunday morning is our shock. 
When I saw your pictures on my instagram feed this morning, without reading the captions I'd simply believed that today must be your birthday and i muttered a birthday wish as I scrolled passed. Yet one caption caught my eyes; you will be missed. And I rushed back to the top of my feed, surely you were leaving the country that's why you'd be missed, surely you could not be dead. 
But it turns out that you are. The tears came. Because it simply makes no sense. The death of such a young, vibrant, handsome, talented, God-loving, God-serving, God-fearing young man makes no sense whatsoever, especially when they say the cause of death is m…

The Non-Hebrew Woman?

"Currently 16weeks pregnant. I remember when i and my husband was shopping for a hospital in which I could register for ANC. We went to different hospitals and then my husband will only ask for “normal delivery costs”. When he is done, I will then say “how much does it cost for CS?”. The first time I did that, he was taken aback and did not talk to me throughout the drive home. Few minutes after we got home, he asked “babe why did you ask for cost of CS” and I told him that was because I was actually considering elective CS because mi o le wa ku on top deliver like an Hebrew woman. He started lecturing me about how I do not have faith and how CS is this and that. I sat him down and told him then no dey give award for normal or CS birth and at the end of the day, it’s my choice. He has now resigned himself to the fact that I am going to do elective CS. In church on Sunday, I was talking to a close friend of mine. She is also preggy but two weeks ahead of me and she is carrying twin…

Ugh! I Hate People Who Hate Valentine's Day!

I just hate them, those people who say "it's just vals day, what's the point?" "I don't celebrate Valentine's Day because everyday should be Valentine's Day". "What happens when he treats you bad on every other day and then decides to spoil you for just that one day, does it make sense?" "Valentine's Day is just a scam for people to make money".  
And I notice that most of the people who go on like this are single. 
Look, I get it. It's just one day in a year. But it's the day set aside for L.O.V.E. "It's like saying love yourself everyday so why should you celebrate your birthday?". Crap, love yourself everyday but that one day marks a special day in your life so by all means celebrate yourself if you want! Or worse yet, like saying "Why should I buy a gift or call my mum on Mother's Day? After all I love my mum everyday". Duuuuuh!
Likewise, Val's day is the day you or your love can b…