My story may be complicated but Pls be patient with me.
Few months ago I met a man at my friend's party, he is her husband's friend and it's as if he immediately developed feelings for me. After some weeks of ignoring him I noticed that I was having feelings for him too, so we started to spend more time talking and chatting. Shortly after that he asked me if I'm a relationship, I answered that yes I'm seeing someone. He was hurt and ended the call.
I have been dating someone for sometime now, but he is married. I know it is wrong and I'm not proud about it, and I keep on asking God why the only man that has ever given me the kind of love, attention and care that I've always prayed for is a married man. I am not the kind of person to cause trouble nd I know that no matter how great our relationship is, we don't have a future together. I'm in love with my boyfriend but I don't want to wake up at 40 years and find that I wasted my best years with a married man so I'm open to moving on.
My new friend on the other hand came back and said he still wants me in his life so we kept on talking. However last week he put two and two together and realized that the boyfriend I have is a married man. I could immediately feel his disgust and disappointment. He didn't hide it as we were talking on the phone and his voice became very hurt and he said he was done with me and hung up. However shortly after that he sent me a message begging me to explain why someone like me is dating a married man. He said he was disappointed and I nearly brought him to tears, he said he feels it's a very stupid thing for me to do.
At that point I noticed his feelings towards me changing. He started to talk to me and treat me different. But later he called and asked for us to see, which we did. I explained to him how I found myself dating a married man and he says he understands but he doesn't like it. He then said that he never wants to talk about the married man again and before the night ended, he came out plainly that he does not want a girlfriend, he wants a wife. And I am what he wants in a wife. That he is still believing that we can have a future together.
Now my problems are these:
Will him knowing that I have been dating a married man, affect our relationship in the long run? I kinda feel that even though he is saying he can overlook it now provided I break up with him immediately, he may later use it against me. I also worry that if we get married, he may have no issues having an affair and rubbing it in my face because after all, I was dating a married man when we met. Thoughts?
Secondly, he is extremely close to his sisters. This is a man that's almost 40 yet he cannot make a single decision without consulting with his sisters., especially his immediate younger sis. For instance, the day I told him I have a boyfriend and he hung up. He immediately called her to tell her. When I admitted that the boyfriend is married, instantly he called her to tell her. When I told him I sometimes drink alcohol, he called her to ask what she thinks. He tells her everything and even forwards our chats to her. Sometimes when he calls me and he is with her, he'll put the phone on speaker so that she can hear the full conversation. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Both when he told her I have a boyfriend and he is married, she asked him to still give me a chance, and that at least I was honest about dating the married man. So, I don't think she is a bad person, but I'm not sure if I'm confortable with the minutest details of our relationship being shared with his sisters.
Also, he is a divorcee. He is yet to tell me what caused the divorce but it seems that he has moved on, and his ex is remarried too, so there's not much issue there.
But lastly, and I am also very worried about this. He is from a polygamous home. That kind of home where the siblings don't all know each other, the mothers aren't at peace with each other and some of the siblings don't get along. I have heard a lot about polygamous homes and some not so good things about marrying into them. I would appreciate any advise that I can get on this.
My fellow blog readers it's all complicated and I feel as if I should just back out, but somewhere in my spirit I believe that this guy really wants to settle down with me, and I would like to get married soon too, and I also have feelings for him. But I don't know if he is the right person. I need your advise please. Thanks.
Just a recap, advise me on if he will treat me badly because I'm dating a married man, and/or if his sisters can later use it against me. Him sharing every single detail of every event with his sister(s) and depending on them to advise him on what to do. Marrying into a very polygamous family.