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Just So That They Don't Join Bad Gang...

So last week I got into a very heated argument with some mums, never minding that I'm yet to be one. 


This fight started from one tiny thing. Sweet corn. I went to buy sweet corn the previous day and I gave the cashier 500 bucks expecting change, but she held the money out to me, asking for the balance. Apparently the sweet corn I bought at N220 last month is N400 this month. Oh, add to that the fact that I hadn't had light in over a week...

So when this argument began about raising one's children abroad if they have the opportunity, and these three women in the car vehemently insisted that they can NEVER let their children grow up abroad, I was shocked. 

Honestly, I'd thought it's an outdated notion; raising children in Nigeria because children raised here have better morals. Alas, these young ladies showed me otherwise!

Still I stood my grounds. I agreed that it could be disastrous to send your kids abroad to grow and be brought up by someone else, but if you have the opportunity to move with your children to a developed (1st world country) then you should not even think twice about it!

I said that I understood their concerns but the pros far outweigh the cons! I couldn't understand why someone would hesitate to give their children the best if they could afford it. 

The ladies said their kids could vacation abroad but they would never allow their children grow up over there, especially in the US and the UK. They talked about street gangs, drugs, extreme liberalism, limitation on ways you can discipline an errant children, disregard for God and religion, disrespect from the children, or worse yet your kids waking up and telling you that they're gay or going to transition to the opposite sex which they believe is their rightful sex etc. 

I called that balderdash, after all teens still do drugs and join "bad gang" in Nigeria. I asked, are you saying that every child born and raised abroad is a bad egg? And in my inner mind I kinda felt the ladies are ignorant. I couldn't fathom how someone who has the opportunity to raise their kids in a better environment, in a place where things actually work, where children are encouraged to think for themselves and eventually become more brilliant and innovative than their peers in less developed countries, where you do not have to dry-fast for electricity and water, where your taxes are visibly put to good use, would rather keep their children here in today's Nigeria (Nigeria will be great again. But until then...) SIMPLY BECAUSE children raised here have better MORALS. 


But on Tuesday I attended a women's prayer meeting at This Present House, Lekki, Lagos. And the visiting pastor shared with us the story of a heartbroken mother, a yoruba woman, whose daughter had just called from the U.S. to inform that not only is she a lesbian, she is also engaged and getting married to her lover, and they are having a child together with the help of a sperm donor. 

Oh wow. I wondered what that woman would be going through. In one day, your daughter whose wedding you'd been planning probably for the last 10 years calls and tells you 
1. I'm gay. 2. I'm getting married to my gay partner. 2. We are both about to be mothers to our child whose father we don't really know. 

...And then this morning I saw pictures of Sade Adu's daughter who is now her son, and now flaunting his new mustache and manly abs on social media. 

And I felt a sinking feeling. Then I remembered a few relatives abroad, one who's struggling seriously with heroine addiction and dropped out of college and has been living on the streets for the last few months, and is not even 21 yet!

And I began to wonder if those ladies have a point. 

So I'm asking you people what you think? Given the opportunity for you and your spouse to raise your children in the Western world, would you grab it, or rather keep them to be raised here and maybe let them go when they become adults? 

And why?




  1. So I live abroad and have kids. If I tell you it doesn't bother me know that am lying. I live in a state with opioids problems it's scary. Contrary to the notion that it's only blacks that do drugs. It's actually white educated men that have a higher rate. So people take ADDH medication, caffeine pills to stay focused, I won't lie the
    pressure is high. I have two kids and am in graduate school where you are thrown with work like it is going out of style

  2. My opinion is apparently obvious on this, so let me hold my peace solemnly.

  3. it's a slippery slope. I understand both sides of the argument.

  4. Bisi Alimi was brought up in Nigeria, or not? We still have Bobrisky here?
    Nigeria is becoming a terrible place to raise kids these days, especially with absentee parents.

  5. All that one is story and I think kinda selfish. If you can give your child better education and life abroad I think you should and then leave the rest to God.

    Know that irrespective of home training a child can still grow up to be a bum! I always tell people, its not home training that puts an adult child in check. We know kids from the best homes in Nigeria that grow up to be hoes, codein addicts, alcoholics and even homosexuals. So...


    1. Their parents certainly didn't do something right.

  6. like Nigeria does not have it's own vices.If you weigh it, there are more pros than cons raising your kids abroad. That is how the virgin daughter will get sick and die because the person with the keys to the oxygen room disappeared into the thin air. Abi the high tension wire that will fall on your straight non smoking son because NEPA refused to repair that wire hanging for days, abi the fact your kids can never be the best brain surgeon in the world (if he remains in the shores of Nigeria all his life)for obvious reasons. Seriously how can anybody even compare

  7. Word!
    Or the kidnappers roaming the streets
    Or the trigger happy police men
    Or the accidents that take young lives because of bad road/no street lights/mad drivers/etc
    Or the suffer wey dey this land.

    Mehn...Its only Baba God.


  8. If i have the means it'll be age 0- end of nusery/primary school abroad
    secondary school years- here in nigeria
    Then university years- abroad

  9. Key word-Opportunity. I'll take it as long as i get to live with them there, if not, no thanks.

  10. I'll send my kids to the best schools I can afford here in Nigeria for Basic education and send them abroad for Tertiary education.

    But children that will be good will be good. Its God that hepls people raise children. Those who turned out good didn't become that way because their parents did anything special, and those who didn't turn out good didn't have bad parents, shit happens...


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.