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Thursday, 2 February 2017

Just So That They Don't Join Bad Gang...

So last week I got into a very heated argument with some mums, never minding that I'm yet to be one. 


This fight started from one tiny thing. Sweet corn. I went to buy sweet corn the previous day and I gave the cashier 500 bucks expecting change, but she held the money out to me, asking for the balance. Apparently the sweet corn I bought at N220 last month is N400 this month. Oh, add to that the fact that I hadn't had light in over a week...

So when this argument began about raising one's children abroad if they have the opportunity, and these three women in the car vehemently insisted that they can NEVER let their children grow up abroad, I was shocked. 

Honestly, I'd thought it's an outdated notion; raising children in Nigeria because children raised here have better morals. Alas, these young ladies showed me otherwise!

Still I stood my grounds. I agreed that it could be disastrous to send your kids abroad to grow and be brought up by someone else, but if you have the opportunity to move with your children to a developed (1st world country) then you should not even think twice about it!

I said that I understood their concerns but the pros far outweigh the cons! I couldn't understand why someone would hesitate to give their children the best if they could afford it. 

The ladies said their kids could vacation abroad but they would never allow their children grow up over there, especially in the US and the UK. They talked about street gangs, drugs, extreme liberalism, limitation on ways you can discipline an errant children, disregard for God and religion, disrespect from the children, or worse yet your kids waking up and telling you that they're gay or going to transition to the opposite sex which they believe is their rightful sex etc. 

I called that balderdash, after all teens still do drugs and join "bad gang" in Nigeria. I asked, are you saying that every child born and raised abroad is a bad egg? And in my inner mind I kinda felt the ladies are ignorant. I couldn't fathom how someone who has the opportunity to raise their kids in a better environment, in a place where things actually work, where children are encouraged to think for themselves and eventually become more brilliant and innovative than their peers in less developed countries, where you do not have to dry-fast for electricity and water, where your taxes are visibly put to good use, would rather keep their children here in today's Nigeria (Nigeria will be great again. But until then...) SIMPLY BECAUSE children raised here have better MORALS. 


But on Tuesday I attended a women's prayer meeting at This Present House, Lekki, Lagos. And the visiting pastor shared with us the story of a heartbroken mother, a yoruba woman, whose daughter had just called from the U.S. to inform that not only is she a lesbian, she is also engaged and getting married to her lover, and they are having a child together with the help of a sperm donor. 

Oh wow. I wondered what that woman would be going through. In one day, your daughter whose wedding you'd been planning probably for the last 10 years calls and tells you 
1. I'm gay. 2. I'm getting married to my gay partner. 2. We are both about to be mothers to our child whose father we don't really know. 

...And then this morning I saw pictures of Sade Adu's daughter who is now her son, and now flaunting his new mustache and manly abs on social media. 

And I felt a sinking feeling. Then I remembered a few relatives abroad, one who's struggling seriously with heroine addiction and dropped out of college and has been living on the streets for the last few months, and is not even 21 yet!

And I began to wonder if those ladies have a point. 

So I'm asking you people what you think? Given the opportunity for you and your spouse to raise your children in the Western world, would you grab it, or rather keep them to be raised here and maybe let them go when they become adults? 

And why?




  1. So I live abroad and have kids. If I tell you it doesn't bother me know that am lying. I live in a state with opioids problems it's scary. Contrary to the notion that it's only blacks that do drugs. It's actually white educated men that have a higher rate. So people take ADDH medication, caffeine pills to stay focused, I won't lie the
    pressure is high. I have two kids and am in graduate school where you are thrown with work like it is going out of style

  2. My opinion is apparently obvious on this, so let me hold my peace solemnly.

  3. it's a slippery slope. I understand both sides of the argument.

  4. Bisi Alimi was brought up in Nigeria, or not? We still have Bobrisky here?
    Nigeria is becoming a terrible place to raise kids these days, especially with absentee parents.

  5. All that one is story and I think kinda selfish. If you can give your child better education and life abroad I think you should and then leave the rest to God.

    Know that irrespective of home training a child can still grow up to be a bum! I always tell people, its not home training that puts an adult child in check. We know kids from the best homes in Nigeria that grow up to be hoes, codein addicts, alcoholics and even homosexuals. So...


    1. Their parents certainly didn't do something right.

  6. like Nigeria does not have it's own vices.If you weigh it, there are more pros than cons raising your kids abroad. That is how the virgin daughter will get sick and die because the person with the keys to the oxygen room disappeared into the thin air. Abi the high tension wire that will fall on your straight non smoking son because NEPA refused to repair that wire hanging for days, abi the fact your kids can never be the best brain surgeon in the world (if he remains in the shores of Nigeria all his life)for obvious reasons. Seriously how can anybody even compare

  7. Word!
    Or the kidnappers roaming the streets
    Or the trigger happy police men
    Or the accidents that take young lives because of bad road/no street lights/mad drivers/etc
    Or the suffer wey dey this land.

    Mehn...Its only Baba God.


  8. If i have the means it'll be age 0- end of nusery/primary school abroad
    secondary school years- here in nigeria
    Then university years- abroad

  9. Key word-Opportunity. I'll take it as long as i get to live with them there, if not, no thanks.

  10. I'll send my kids to the best schools I can afford here in Nigeria for Basic education and send them abroad for Tertiary education.

    But children that will be good will be good. Its God that hepls people raise children. Those who turned out good didn't become that way because their parents did anything special, and those who didn't turn out good didn't have bad parents, shit happens...


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