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Saturday, 11 February 2017

The Non-Hebrew Woman?




"Currently 16weeks pregnant. I remember when i and my husband was shopping for a hospital in which I could register for ANC. We went to different hospitals and then my husband will only ask for “normal delivery costs”. When he is done, I will then say “how much does it cost for CS?”. The first time I did that, he was taken aback and did not talk to me throughout the drive home. Few minutes after we got home, he asked “babe why did you ask for cost of CS” and I told him that was because I was actually considering elective CS because mi o le wa ku on top deliver like an Hebrew woman. He started lecturing me about how I do not have faith and how CS is this and that. I sat him down and told him then no dey give award for normal or CS birth and at the end of the day, it’s my choice. He has now resigned himself to the fact that I am going to do elective CS.

In church on Sunday, I was talking to a close friend of mine. She is also preggy but two weeks ahead of me and she is carrying twins. We were talking about somethings and she said she was afraid of episotomy(sp) so I (who's opted for elective CS) said oh, no need. You may likely deliver through CS since you are carrying multiples. If you see the way my friend did the hand-round-my-head-while-snapping-te-fingers sign of rejection, you would think I wished her death. She actually sent me a WhatsApp message later in the day to warn me not to wish her CS anymore. I sha apologised and say toh, no vex. I no know say you like pain like that".


Last week I read of a young woman who had just died while trying to deliver her baby. The doctor strongly suggested they carry out a Caesarian section on her, but the mom-to-be refused even more strongly. Apparently she's a Jehovah's Witness and as we know by now, CS is against their doctrine. So in an attempt to birth her baby like the "Hebrew woman", or why ever else they do what they do, mother and child both lost their lives. 

I don't mean to knock on anyone's beliefs but I think God wants us alive and well...

Moving forward, bizarre as it may sound that this happens in 2017, I find this more acceptable and understandable than people who still view birth through CS as something to be ashamed of. When I read the post where I culled the above comment from (on   ) I couldn't believe the comments I was reading. 

Please are awards given for vaginal deliveries or something? I always thought it was a no-brainer, in fact, I used to think, albeit naively, that it would be the preferred course of action for most women. It turns out that I'm terribly wrong.  

One would think that what matters is that both mother and baby are well and healthy. And that a mother should do what's best for her and the child. But apparently, women who are cut open are viewed by some weaker, and less than. 

Please my people help me make sense of this. Do the pains of labour and pushing a baby out of the vagina bestow some honor upon a woman, than the woman who took the "easy way out" is not entitled to? 

Besides, is Caesarian section really the easy way out?...



Photo credit; raw vibes
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17 comments:

  1. africans๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Lol what did you expect, you want to spoil her testimony (of how she delivered like a Hebrew woman) in church๐Ÿ˜†
    Well, I believe the decision about how to give birth lies on the physician although he/she can still discuss it with the patient and a CS or other forms of delivery are only resorted to if the natural means poses any health risk to either mother or child or both(ex. breech, fibroid etc).

    And maybe this decision is just about the pain but vaginal birth is really extra safe for both mum and child(short and long term) and maybe if the doctor fully explains to you all the benefits and risks involved in all forms of delivery, you'll opt for vaginal delivery.

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    Replies
    1. CS is not only opted for as a last resort. U can decide ab initio dat u don't want dat 'push'stress. I know a woman dat once it's time for delivery, d husband pays for CS bc he can't deal, can't imagine his wife undergoing so much pain wen there's an 'easy'way out.

      And natural means being the safest.. OK I'm learning new things.


      From my experience, I stay with mothers in d child bearing period alot, dias definitely an existing stereotype, dat mothers who birth d natural way are strong, d real MVPs & dia children superior to dia 'other means' contemporaries.
      But it beats me, dey take so much pride in the fact that dey delivered naturally.
      Iono sha but to me, it makes no sense. Delivery is delivery, na pikin olof u born. Choose anyone u want,as far as dias no life threatening implication, provided u can pay for CS, it can be expensive though.

      Delete
  2. Abeg who vaginal delivery epp?All I pray is for women to give birth safely.TNHW

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  3. It is crazy , the part that gets me is that it's actually women that shame others. When I had my first child through cs, my mother in law told me that I should be ashamed for having my first kid via cs, funny her last child was via cs. I don't care I tell anyone who asks that I had a cs. My second baby was through vaginal my body didn't have time to heal properly.
    Whatever works for you.

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  4. Mother and child's safety should always be the primary concern. I'm concerned about the increasing number of women choosing elective CS. About 2 year ago, I read about WHO's concern too. If there's no need for it why choose it?
    Besides CS limits the number of children one can have. Because it's not safe to have beyond 3 or 4 I think. Natural is better if you can.

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  5. For me it shud be viewed from 2 angles ... CS is not as easy as it is being made to sound ... So i tink d two angles shud b doctor prescription ad patients preference ... Doc prescription comes in2 play wen dere is a danger of delivery bt still again d patient preference cn come in2 if d doc can certify her being able to gv birth by any of d two eida vaginal or CS ...

    But on a general note really vaginal delivery is d safest both on d short and long run

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  6. That Hebrew woman delivery sontin is a big scam and has been deceiving people for years.

    http://tobyswords.com/2016/11/14/delivery-like-the-hebrew-women-lie/

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  7. This is my first time hearing women are shamed for having a ceaserean section... i thot it was a choice on how u want to birth ur baby... I know someone who chose to have a CS just so her V would still be intact. Oh well...

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  8. sadly, the doctrine about "delivering like the Hebrew women" has been misconstrued and used to deceive so many women and men.

    for petes sake the Hebrew women also experienced pain and laborseriously as with childbearing.

    in the bible you would recall that Pharoah had asked that all male children , especially first borns of the Isrealite' / Hebrews be killed. Howeverthe midwives were not happy about the order and when summoned by Pharoah to find out why they were not complying to his orders the midwives had to tell a lie as quoted below.


    "The midwives answered Pharaoh, "Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive." Exotic 1:19

    This was basically to avoid blame or being killed.

    the problem is that people dont read their bibles to understand. anything pastor says is correct.

    let thise that need sense receive it

    I have EXPERIENCED both Vaginal birth and CS. no one is easy but CS is even worse and more painful from my experience .

    if I had my way I'd have had VB. but complications made me opt for CS.

    Other than the fact that I cldnt get my flat belly back asap, I have absolutely no regrets. pls who dey give certificate to born like Hebrew women .

    Ignorance is not bliss too many women have died from both foolishness n ignorance.

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  9. I remember the first time I came across elective CS, I was with an auntie just gisting and she goes...she does have strength to go and be screaming in the hospital, that when its time,she calls her doctor and says....Doc,cut this thing out of me...I didnt shame her...I WS just surprised... Prior to that I didn't think women would of thier own accord go for CS

    But CS or vaginal birth,I think every pregnant woman should avail themselves of necessary info on the subject,listen to their doctors opinion and take the best decision for them.

    These things are largely personal and no one should be shamed for it

    Favourite

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  10. I don't understand how some people think, just because someone died from vaginal birth doesn't mean you will too. At least some others have also died from complications resulting from CS gone bad.


    If she had said she did want to go through the pain, It is understanble. And besides multiple births don't always result in CS. My neighbor had twins and it was through VB.

    As for those shaming women who had CS. I no get their time ......shior!

    *QuirkyMoi*

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  11. It's never easy to go under the knife. Whether it's for a beauty procedure, health reasons or to birth a child.

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  12. Thelma,you got your facts wrong.Jehovah's Witnesses are very cautious about the choices they make when it comes to issues of health. Life is precious and so we do all we can to safeguard it (that includes opting for cesarean delivery). However, we are careful not to disobey God in our quest to safeguard our lives. We are not against health choices and decisions which do not displease Jehovah. I have had 2 elective cesarean sections so far.'We also do not like pain like that'.

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  13. Of course, no honor. And really episiotomy, shd be dreaded sha, kai. The healing phase was sth else for me. N God bless u if it breakdown. We'll with JW, I don't think they r against CS directly. It's rather d compulsory blood transfusions. Thus they have other means for blood wahala

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  14. I can remember talking to a friend one day about how I wanna give birth to triplets and def via CS, my mum overheard the conversation...the way she snapped at me ehh, of course with series of "tufiakwa". I still prefer CS, and it is worse than v. birth (I'm also aware of that).

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  15. Smh... since 2011 that one of my colleagues during NYSC explained what child birth really entails and she described the pain you feel especially when the baby's head is trying to come out, omo, I just told myself that if I can't have an epidural (which I hear is almost impossible to get in Nigerian hospitals - from Mama Kabuoy's experience many years ago) I'd just opt for CS when the pain gets unbearable.. I cannot even die! Am I lazy? Maybe.

    But those shaming other women tho, don't they know the pain of having a CS and the recovery is worse than that of normal delivery? The woman is in constant pain for a minimum of 4 - 6 weeks and can't bend and stuff.. Nigerian women and their upside down thinking sometimes, how does pushing a baby out of your body make you superior to the woman who had the baby brought out if her? Does having a CS invalidate the fact that you both had "children"?

    ReplyDelete

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