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Dear Thelma (I Love Him But The Sex Sucks!)





Please post. Mr X and I started dating mid last year but we didn't start having sex until this January when we started planning our wedding. He's a very nice guy, fun, hardworking and comfortable. But the problem is that ever since we started having sex I don't like him as much as I used to. People say size is not everything, that is not about the size of the D but how you use it. But with my fiancé there is no point, he doesn't use it well at all. He does not give me head, he does not do any forplay just to squeeze my boobs for a few minutes and then fiam he has entered me. I love to pleasure my man but he will not let me touch him, he won't let me give him head either, he won't let me explore his erogenous zones or even pleasure him in any way. For instance I know his neck and nipples are sensitive but he won't even let me touch him there, talk less of kissing him there. I find this very frustrating. I'm a very sexual person, I love to enjoy sex and also make my man enjoy sex. This guy is 0 over 10 in bed. Once I tried to touch myself before he entered me (mostLy because I was very dry) and he got angry and offended. He said why am I touching myself and he flung my hand away. I wanted to cry. Most guys would even enjoy watching you touch yourself. Also once in a while he manages to make me moan, when I moan he complains that I'm freaking him out, that when I moan he feels like he's hurting me and it makes him lose his erection! Please have you ever seen such a thing? Most men are even happy and more gingered when they make you moan or scream but my own is telling me to just stay mute.

I don't need oral sex to be happy but he doesn't try to do anything else, he feels that once he touches my breast for one minute that is enough. He doesn't even seem to know that a woman gets wet or should get wet. Most times he opens my legs and just thrusts and the only reason I don't get wounded is that he is small. I'm so sad honestly. People say sex is very important in marriage so I'm scared because I don't know what will happen. I love sex but I avoid having sex with him because it's usually extremely boring. The only good thing about him is that he has stamina. But when the sex is horrible that's a bad thing not a good thing. 

My friend says that I should call it off but I wonder if bad sex is enough reason to leave a good guy? I'm so sad and depressed these days because I get scared that I may cheat on him when we get married, and I have never cheated on any man before in my life, so you can imagine how bad it is. I don't want to talk to him about it because I feel his ego would be bruised and I honestly think it would do more harm than good. Please I need your advice, is bad sex really going to be detrimental to a marriage or can it be overlooked? I tell myself that what if I leave him and meet someone that is great in bed but a bad husband? But also I tell myself that I could meet someone who is great a bed, a good husband and financially comfortable. It's just that at 31 I don't think it's advisable to be taking such risks by waiting around in the hope that such man finds me. Lol. 

Advise please.  

Comments

  1. Talk to him about it, that should have been the first thing before even telling anybody. His orientation about sex is different, talk to him and gauge his response. Please don't talk about certain issues with your 'friend' , if he's really your fiance and she knows and is telling you to call things off without asking you to talk to him first, is that one friend?
    A Girl

    ReplyDelete
  2. At 31 you still have like 60 years to live with bad sex . If you can deal with this, then go ahead . Although women lose interest in sex after child birth like my case, but not in all cases . I'm sure you love him, but peopl really shouldn't be marrying for love sef. Love blinds reasoning . use your brain or get used to bad sex . I'm leaving with bad or no sex after six year of marriage. I hav since forgotten about it as there are more prominent issues facing my marriage . Ii think if we had a good sex life we can easily have sorted it out . use your head. If he really loves and care for you, then it's a plus. We all live with bad sex from these our Oga them . 😂. I haven't cheated though, but I can't rule it out cos of the way my body is doing me these days . 😂. Mrs no name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster please don't become her 👆👆👆👆👆👆
      Kratos

      Delete
  3. You have all the answers dear because you are the one at the receiving end of the problem. You discuss it with him and see if he makes an effort,decide to live with bad sex till death do you path.

    You are about to marry someone yet you can't have a candid conversation with him with regards to something as important as sex,j

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damn. You harsh! I feel bad for the brother. The way you described his case, its like its hopeless. lol. Anyways... do the following:

    1) Dont marry him unless this issue is sorted out. And let him know also. He has to consciously up his game or forget about you. Sex is extremely important in married. Dont let anybody tell you diff.
    2) Let him know in clear words that you are not satisfied. In this case feel free to use bitter truth strategy.
    3) Ask for his approval to take the matter to a therapist, or somebody you can trust that you are sure can help.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 4) Leave him if he is not interested in working with you to resolve this. Every unresolved issue prior to marriage becomes magnified several folds in marriage. Don't let your age push you into life of regrets.

      Delete
  5. Sex will often be the needed spice to cure a marriage on bad days.
    IT is a fundamental issue and trust me you will be more miserable after marriage .
    There is no sugar coating this. Please talk about it. Let him see reasons why you don't think this relationship will thrive when you can't even discuss the most intimate aspect of your relationship.

    If he is really into you,he will listen . My dear as a married woman of 5 years I can honestly tell you that not only will you regret Not sorting this out (if you decide to ignore) , you will most likely end up having an unhappy home and you end up losing anyways.

    There is more to marriage than being a Mrs.
    I wish you all the best dear.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I died when I read the 'because he is small' part😂😂😂. such a simple sentence yet so lethal. Dude has to pick a struggle shaa, you can't be small* and still don't try.
    The knowledgeable BV's have given sound suggestions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Video Adulto Amador Com Esposa Safada ela sempre seu marido chegar do trabalho de roupa bem chamativa para fazer sexo, ai não tem jeito e cara abri a porta não tem com resistir a essa maravilhosa tentação. E ali mesmo na sala cozinha não importa o negocio e fuder bastante, o bom de isso tudo que ter uma delicia dessa esperando todos os dias de forma bem sexy não tem homem que não iria se apaixonar, e para completar essa missão a safadinha adora mostra para as recalques que assim que prende seu macho e não da tempo nem que ele pensa em outra para trair ela.
    Video Adulto Amador Com Esposa Safada || Download do vídeo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmmmm, what i can say is that if you know you like sex please marry someone that can satisfy you, marriage has its ups and down and sometimes the sex its the getaway point, what now happens if its horrible?
    Talk to him about it and try to encourage him to be open and try new things, if he still refuses then maybe you guys should take a break.

    ReplyDelete

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