"In this day my darling husband saw his wife and mother of his child bleeding on the floor but was still hugging and puffing. Swearing on his mothers life that that was going to be my last day on earth. Swearing that he would "enter Instablog" as the next man who killed his wife. I can't help but imagine 2 conductors on the streetfighting, 2 strangers. When one starts to bleed the other would think "ha make I calm down oh" talkleas of beating your defenseless wife who did Nothing to you (or please ask him, what I did, I would love to be able to make sense of this, love to know my offense). He showed no mercy,still said to me that I was going to drown in my blood. He locked all doors, even balconies invade I wanted to jump out! The man I loved striped to his underwear in front of my friend and the abuse went on for hours, he had 2 of his own friends in the house and even they weren't enough to stop him, he was exchanging blows with them, just to get to me. It was as though he had 5 men inside him,determined to kill me. I excaped only by the grace of God. My friend and I were running on the street with blood on me like this and people wondering what happened to us. And this was just one day. I can write a book on the living hell I lived.
I was just about to share a story on domestic violence when I saw this one at the top of my instagram feed. DV has become the order of the day, makes no sense right? One would have thought that since it's now largely talked about on social media, the perpetrators would have a rethink. Instead, the perps seem to be getting bolder and even more cruel. In the post I'd wanted to share, the lady is dead. As in, deceased. One day hubby smashed her head on the wall for trying to defend herself from his blows, and that was it. Dead.
But you see, social media has truly revealed that a lot of men are evil. I find that most men actually think DV is okay. I read comments that men, men with names and faces and families, make and I'm shocked. I've noticed that in cases of domestic violence, no matter how brutal, they rarely ever condemn the act. Most times, like in the post above with a bleeding, bruised and beaten woman, they say the lady must have done something to push her husband to that point. Other times they say women should stop painting men black on social media and deal with their shit at home. A large majority of them stay quiet, which looks to me like acceptance.
I was shocked the day I put up something on DV on Instagram and someone, a husband and father, whom I've always known and admired commented saying women should stop blowing this DV thing out of proportion, that besides, these abused women should come clean and confess what they do to make their husbands beat them to that point.
At this point all I can say is, mothers we need to do better. We need to raise better men than our mothers and grandmothers did. There is something seriously fundamentally wrong with many Nigerian men and I think upbringing plays a huge part in this.
Is there really anything a wife could do to her husband to deserve the picture above? If his friend, colleague or boss had provoked him, do you think he would have dared do this to them? Then why is it when it comes to their wives that some WEAK men have power?