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Dear Thelma (Is This a Red Flag?)

I recently started dating Ayo (not real name). It's still very fresh, less than one month. We're in that honeymoon phase, we like each other a whole lot, I've been very excited because he is the most handsome man I know and now he's even my boyfriend. He's a nice and very hardworking man. But when we were talking last night he said something I found very weird. I was visiting my parents for the weekend and I told him that I was in my mum's room and I would sleep there for the night. He asked why I wanted to and I said nothing, that I just like it. He then said he too he likes sleeping with his mum when he goes to visit her, that in fact when he travels to visit her it's in her room that he always sleeps. I found it strange that a 34 year old man would still sleep in the same bed with his mother but that wasn't even the strange part. He said that he likes sleeping with his mum because he likes playing with that black thing. That he plays with it until he sleeps off. I asked him what black thing and he said her nipple nau. I was shocked and disgusted. He noticed and said why am I surprised, that he even sucks it sometimes when he's bored or having difficulty sleeping. I nearly vomited and I told him that that isn't normal behaviour. He couldn't understand why there's anything wrong with his playing with his mother's nipple after all it's the same breast that suckled him as a child so what was different now just because he is an adult? Honestly I didn't know how to respond to this. I'm 29 and believe in dating with a purpose, and I was hoping that one day we would get married, he too has said he would like to be married soon. But after that conversation I just feel so weird about the whole thing. I was already starting to fall in love with him but I can still break up with him and move on easily because the relationship hasn't gone far. But I want to hear from BVs what they think. Is this one a deal breaker or it is not a big deal? Another thing is that won't this kind of mother that is too attached to her son be problematic to any woman in his life? I don't know, I'm just asking. Please advise me. 

Update; he was not joking. I've called him this morning to ask again and he got angry. He is now saying he'll be careful with what he tells me in the future because I'm showing that he cannot be open with me. 



  1. This is just too weird, adonbilivit...if i were you poster, i will runnnnn except its a joke o...

    1. Exactly! Chrisyinks.

  2. This is the strangest weirdest bizarre thing I have heard in a long time. Personally, I think he is messing with you but if he is not............J

  3. Hian! This one is mama's boy raised to the power 100, you don't wanna be messing with these types.

  4. "...he'll be careful with what he tells me in the future because I'm showing that he cannot be open with me...".

    Odiegwu. So he's even aware that he's a weirdo? Lol. This flag is BLOOD RED.

  5. This had better be a joke, if it is not then please walk away.

  6. First of, why is his activity with his mummy determine whether to love him more or not? How does this influence you guys, as a couple?

    What do you think is the issue with the sucking? Is it the age? Or are you thinking 'incest'?

    Let me assume you're thinking he's a mummy's boy, right? So this might influence the way he prioritize you. I'm just trying to pin-point what matters to you in terms of how you want this relationship to work... What do you want? Let's ignore the flaws first. What do you want? I'm sure you do have your own flaws as well.

    Because he's open enough to tell you these things just shows how much he conscience is clear as regards how much he wants to care and how much he does care about you.

    I also think his actions do not directly influence you both as a couple. Fact.

    You just gotta understand what's important to you, how he relates with his mom or how he relates with you as a couple.

    1. Uyi you have started again abi?You should just relocate to jand...All this your ideas ain't naija worthy at allπŸ™„πŸ™„..TNHW

    2. Lol at TNHW. Speak truth to

    3. This doesn't even deserve a response.. this is one of those your devil's advocate comments abi? Cos me I'm not understanding the jamb questions..

    4. Lol. Y'all taking Uyi seriously?

      Let's turn the tables: Uyi, imagine you had a girl you intend getting married to, comes and tells you she sleeps on the same bed with her dad and she allows him suck "that black thing" (yuck), or he allows her rub "that long thing" (yuckier), or.............(yuckiest), will all these Greenwich questions be necessary?

    5. Uyi do you by some chance suck your mums black thing??? πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜₯😦 . How you don't think this is wrong is worrisome even for you... Do you need therapy?? Scrap that, I think you need therapy. Idonbelieveit

    6. @alabi... uyi's comment is not jand worthy as well... he should just remain in a box with his weird comment...

    7. Weirdo..I too know πŸ˜πŸ™„

    8. Ewww... Poster, you already know what to do, I'm tending towards incest as the issue here.

      A Girl

  7. Looool. This nigga has to be joking.

    But a nigga that can use this kinda thing to joke is weird as fuck. I dont think you can trust him. Start working on plan B.


  8. Chukwunnabinaigwe....The Igbo girl in me couldn't resist it. Hmmmmmm, my sister i dont get this whole story o, so mumsy just opens her breast for her 34 year old son to suck...*weirdos*. Mehn just think if you can deal with it, like imagine you come home from work to find him sucking mumsy after marriage. I just cant deal.

  9. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚...I just had to laugh...Ayo is a baby eieio.Babe,run and don't look back,my issue ain't with the boy but the mom that gives him breast...Does he have a dad?TNHW

  10. something is definitely wrong with both mum my son
    Whatever it is, babe please don't wait to find out . Just "Gerroutta this freakiness" fast.

  11. Some mother's do have

    (the visuals are killing me right now)

  12. Code red! code red! code red!
    do you copy?!!
    Now to the liberal @Uyi,let's turn the table on you. Now imagine your 28 year old fiancΓ©e opens up to you that she likes to bathe with her Dad because she likes the look of his bomdigidy , what would be your considerations for decision making:
    1. The fact that the bomdigidy has never attempted to search for gold (NB you don't know that for sure)
    2. The fact that you guys love each other to the moon and back
    3. The father is a very respectable man in the society
    4. The fact that he is her father so he knows his daughter in and out. (in other words nothing spoil)
    I'm waiting for your answer o.

  13. I can't even picture this. My dear, run as fast as your legs can carry you biko. How would a 34 year old be sucking his momma's breast? In fact, like TNHW said, the problem isn't the guy sucking, it's the woman that gives it to him. How does the conversation start sef?
    Babe, run!

    1. It is both of them jor! You and TNHW πŸ˜’

  14. You think talking to you about it makes it less psychotic? It is worse. A psycho that does not know he is a psycho is the worst psycho and you can see it runs in the flag? babe that's a red sign board.

  15. This is weird..what other activities do they indulge..While they just keep their hands or I just don't understand...If u can deal with's up to u...The dude et mum sure need to undergo a therapeutic session with counsellors nd the likes

  16. I think this is the "eww'est" thing I've read in a while. Picturing it is enough to slap the sleep out of my eyes so I can continue reading. Eww!!!!

  17. Dearie please run!

  18. Rotflmao @all the comments


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