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Sam's Dilemma; Miss 'Ride or Die' vs Miss 'I'll Only Ride In a Benz'?

This post is on special request. 

A male friend of mine who's eager to settle down (no, not only women are "desperate" to marry) is a bit confused. So he's praying to wed by December of this year and is actively pursuing this goal. He has cut his search down to two young ladies. There were other ladies in the running, some whom he even liked,probably loved more than this two, but they didn't meet the wifey criteria... Like this one he was in love with who claimed that as a feminist, when she's a wife she would continue to go for late night drinks and meetings with clients and prospective clients because if a husband can, so can a wife... This argument arose after she left home at 11pm one night because that was the only time a client was available to meet. She came back after 1am and insisted that it was a part of her job and she had done nothing wrong. Well after that *Sam began to have his doubts. 

Back to the matter. Sam is seeing two young ladies and he swears he loves them both equally (is that really possible?) and would be happy to marry one of them. The problem is that these two ladies are distinctly different. 

*Aramide pushes him to do better. Most men say they want a woman who pushes them to be better and do better. Sam earns about 200k a month and lives in a comfortable one bedroom apartment. About two weeks ago Aramide said to him "But you know you need to get a better job, like, before we go further... I will send you leads on vacancies and also see who I can talk to. You also need to start sending out your CV, you need a better paying job or else..."

*Tolani on the other hand said these words to him one night just a week before that "I know that where you are now is the least you will ever be in your life. But I want you to know that even if it is not, I will always be there by your side". 

Now the question, people, is who among these 2 do you think would make a better wife?

The ride or die one who would stay with him whether in Mushin or Manhattan, whether in a luxury Benz or in a BRT bus, or the goal-getter chic who has high standards and high expectations and pushes and also helps him to go higher? 

In his shoes, who among these 2 would you favour as a wife? 

Aramide or Tolani?

Ladies and gentlemen, Sam needs your help. Thanks. 



  1. I think I will go with Aramide.
    The high goal setter/getter will be able to weather any difficult or unpleasant unforseen circumstances.

  2. If I were Sam, I'll choose aramide.. every man needs that push so as not to be complacent where they r, n sometimes to reset their brain cos some men can sha forget themselves!

  3. Sam needs to find out which lady best supports his purpose in life, and also, which lady he best supports her purpose in life. I find that the easiest way to answer these questions is to ask oneself what he/she truly wants out of life. It's often less of who exemplifies the 'right' characteristics. Chrisyinks

  4. This is a tough decision but he has to decide himself. There are other things that can affect his decision. I wish I had a ride or die same way i wish for someone that will push me out of my comfort zone. So the best way to decide is to look for for other traits u can use for the other round of, hope I made sense


  5. So I guess we should pick either option A, which is Aramide, or option B, which is Tolani.... But there should have been option C - " Unable to answer without further information"; because option C is my response.

    It would be a great injustice to assess either of those two ladies solely on something as fleeting and transient as a comment made on his current job/salary. Either of those two ladies could have made either of those statements under different circumstances.

    You said the two ladies couldn't be more different; in what regard exactly? That is perhaps the more pertinent detail required.

    1. i totally agree with you on 'It would be a great injustice to assess either of those two ladies solely on something as fleeting and transient as a comment made on his current job/salary'. i mean there should be other things he could consider, they both can't have other things in common

    2. "It would be a great injustice to assess either of those two ladies solely on something as fleeting and transient as a comment made on his current job/salary". exactly my thought too.

  6. I'll go with Tolani, Aramide sounds like she'll never be satisfied with whatever he offers no matter how much

    1. Seconded. Tolani wants what's best for him but will stick with when things don't go as planned. To me that is what marriage is all about, finding that person that will stick with you for better or for worse

  7. Enter your comment........

  8. I go with Tolani, I as a person need no one to push me, I push maself and loyalty matters to me a lot, I see more of that in Tolani's statement.

  9. Lol this one is a trick. Nobody loves two people equally. He should tell humself the truth, does he aspure to more or he is a comfortable type that is ok coasting? Aramide might be a motivator, but if he doesnt aspire to her standards what hapoens? Likewise Tolani might be easy going and not as forceful, but will he resent ger if she is not the overtlt motivational type?

    Meanwhile there is N30k up for grabs on

    1. True that... A man always know that one girl he loves truly

  10. Am I the only that is not comfortable with the idea of this guy playing the heart of these innocent ladies all in the name if finding the best.
    My dear you can't have it all just as humans are not complete. Let this your experiment not backfire sha.

  11. Ill go with the one that sucks D better!

    They are both cool. The love and peace of mind Tolani would give him might clear his head to do great things. The pressure and motivation that Aramide would give him might be what he needs. But which one of them can suck D better. Because life is not all about making money.


    1. Kon you're a fish I swear. 😂 😂. What if neither of them likes sucking D??? 😏

    2. This sucking D is a serious ish for guys o...thelma u should make it a post, let's have fun with it...

    3. Konnnnnnnnnnnnn. okay now. LOL. maybel

    4. If they can't suck... Break up, sharp sharp

  12. I'm kind of like Aramide. I'll stay with you hoping you're working to be better.

    BTW, what is wrong with the feminist lady's position on business and relations. I'm of that same school of thought o.

  13. In marriage,he wld get irritated by Aramide's "push" and wld actually wish he settled for Tolani

    Well,if I'm a guy,i wld be with the woman who gives bomb sex and laughs at my jokes. Money can't buy some things.

    NB: not everyone wld make it to Forbes list. The pressure to be ambitious and rich can give high blood pressure.

  14. Based solely on the scenarios painted above, I'd go with Aramide. Anything or anyone that pushes you to be better in any way is good, great infact.

    But then again, we only have at best, a tiny fraction of the whole story and so we can't make a well informed decision.
    Sam has to sit down and think really hard.. and there's to way he loves them both equally, that's a lie.

  15. Sam go dey alright... Lol

  16. Sam go dey alright... Lol

  17. Found this really interesting story about a man n his mistress. So much to learn.

  18. I would go with Tolani because at the long run, all we seek is a home where tranquillity and peace of mind abound.

    On a second note, why is this man dating two ladies at the same time, then having the nerves to choose one over the other judging by the statement the make. Is this not cheating? is it now okay to cheat? what do i know.

    1. It has always been okay to cheat. Except you are married.


  19. so what happens if we convince you that for example, Aramide is better and you find reason with us then after all said and done, genotypes don't match?
    hypothesis don't hurt no one.��

  20. You don't deserve any of them!

    You are a self centered man and you deserve your kind of woman that will compare you to other men and still leave you at the end. Strictly my opinion..!

  21. Lol. Dear Sam, I read this post 3 times and something caught my eye:

    "...There were other ladies in the running, some whom he even LIKED, PROBABLY LOVED more than these two, but they didn't meet the WIFEY CRITERIA... Like this one he was in LOVE with who claimed that as a FEMINIST..."

    It would stand to reason that Sammy loves a lot of women with different characters and tastes. The problem is that you're not looking for a WIFE, you're looking for WIFEY CRITERIA. Any advice given with reference to your recent options will do you no good. The only advice I'll give to you is to tell you to be VERY careful with looking for WIFEY CRITERIA. Many men who look out for this *characteristic* tend to subjugate their wives.

    So Sam, sit down and think really hard about what you want. And biko, stop dating multiple women. GOD bless.

  22. Guy this is what happens when you play the field: Confusion! My answer: which one does lil Sam like more? Cos they both sound ok and your reasons for being undecided is a tad too abstract to form an informed opinion on one jare.


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