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Monday, 1 May 2017

Home Invasion!

Have I told you that I share a fence with Lekki Conservation Centre?

Really peaceful neighbourhood surrounded by trees and birds and nature and all that good stuff. 

Unfortunately, as with most things in life, things are never as they appear to be. For instance, while in most homes, at night people shut their doors and windows to keep Mosquitos out, in my neighbourhood we do that to keep bats out. 

You read rights, bats. Just leave your window or net open a crack and they would force and squeeze their way through and start flying around. This freaks me out because well, bats are freaking ugly and there's something so....... dark about them and not just because they're black. But also because bats and freaking blind too! So they'll just fly into your room and start flying around and you jump up and want to run out but they're flying towards you because they cannot see you and they fly faster than many other birds so imagine that speed inside your room, especially when its more than one bat 😫😱. Unfortunately you cannot open the windows for them to fly out because, well, they're blind. So chances are that more would fly in instead. When this happens you eventually have to kill the bat, unless you don't mind cohabiting with them that is. I've never killed one, I'm way too squirmish but thankfully there's always someone around willing to be a bat murderer. 

But this post isn't even about bats. It's about the monkeys. If you've ever been to the conservation centre or driven by, you'd know there are a million monkeys of all sizes inside there. Sometimes they just come out and chill on the roads, sometimes they sit on the fence watching people. And a few times they jump into people's compounds and on their roofs. These days however they've taken it up a notch and I'm begin to wonder if there's famine in the forest as they're now spending more time outside than inside and harassing everyone! 

Last week i watched about three of them bully the woman who fries akara and yam on the road side adjacent to their fence. The poor woman ended up throwing some of the food on the floor when attempting to run away with it. 

Sometime last year I bought a bunch of plantains and other groceries. I brought everything out of the car but couldn't take it all back in together so I went to keep the groceries first. Less than 2 minutes later I came out to take the plantain and half the bunch had disappeared. Bloody monkeys!

Now they're not just entering compounds, they've gotten bolder (or hungrier?), they're now invading kitchens! Yesterday we came back home after church and I was confused to see both the kitchen net and window wide open. I entered the kitchen to find this mess. You'd agree that this isn't the work of rats. You can see how they scattered the plates stand under the window and dropped some sand or whatever on the window seal when it/they were jumping in. 

They ate one full finger of plantain, ate almost a whole one, half of one and about a quarter of two! They pushed down my bag of chips and ate some of it but I guess chips is not their thing so they didn't eat it all. I think they must have stolen some plantain too because it was more than this. 

As I stood in the middle of the kitchen I'd never felt more violated in my whole life! 😰😭😩.

Monkeys actually entered our kitchen and ate our food.

Bloody monkeys! πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’



  1. Has the neighborhood initiated some word with the managers of LCC? Hopefully, that would result into something positive for you both. Sorry about the ordeal, you'd just have to ensure that your house is always secured. Chrisyinks

  2. Omg! This is scary... what if they decide to come back when you are home and maybe at night? Hmmm... you need to do something o and fast!

  3. This is petrifying, really! I guess the best option is to keep everywhere shut tight to prevent these unwholesome invasions by monkeys. If it's gotten to the point of tearing down your windows, do get a crossbow and set a much needed example for others.
    About the bats ... LOL. Look on the bright side������. They help keep away mosquitoes.One of the most lethal predators of mosquitoes(and insects in general)

  4. Thelma πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    There I was thinking gun toting hard hearted men invaded your home. That's the downside of being so close to nature. Animals are really smart and will find ways to get to human food.

    Buy wire gauze and nail to the wall outside the windows. That's the only way to prevent them invading your home.

    From the photo, you have sliding windows. Don't use thin gauze like chicken coop wire. Get something stronger. You have to spend money keep them out.

    Let me scare you. Bats and monkeys transmit diseases to humans. They are usually the culprits behind Ebola transmission.


  5. Thelma you are trying oh...I just imagined waking up to get a glass of water in the middle of the night and there is a monkey standing right in front of you...😈😈😱😱...I would suggest you get better locks for your windows..As for bats...I hate them like crazy..Evil looking things..TNHW

  6. Lol....I can I just picture the whole thing happening. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Pele Thelma


  7. This is extra funny to me. Haha hahahahahahaha.

  8. Thelma pack ya things and come to Ajah. Lols. Pele dear

  9. Please house, I need a job. Do anyone have any job of any kind so long as its legal, please I am interested. I'm a graduate.

  10. Lol.... I can imagine. Kpele T. Maybelline

  11. Thelma please I'm interested in working for you. Do you have any vacancy? Please reply

  12. Y'all should complain to LCC and threaten to sue them... this is wrong on too many levels. Their animals are invading people's homes! It's bad enough that the economy is the way it is, I'll now be losing food stuff bought with hard earned money to monkeys? And spending money on damages caused by another person's animals, it makes no sense!

    I'm so upset..

  13. Chai! Bush meat visited you at home and you are complaining. I trust Ekiti people, even the monkeys dare not invade because my people must have gotten a Dane gun and killed at least 3. And they will allow LCC to perceive the sweet aroma of a roasted monkey then case dismissed lols.

  14. The monkeys will be back! Sorry if I scare you, but your house is welcoming and they are smart to identify where they found the loot during the first visit.

    Secure your premises, these animals carry diseases around.

  15. This is not the lest bit funny. Monkeys are dangerous and have high libidoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    A Girl

  16. Breaking News: Another Ebola outbreak imminent - WHO.

    Secure your premises and report this to the relevant authorities. Bats and Monkeys are Ebola carriers.

  17. I knew this post was going to be about Monkeys lol.


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