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Monday, 15 May 2017

Mothers. We All Have Them!

Apologies for the delay in posting comments and posts. My faithful ipad finally gave up after 5 years of loyal service and almost four years of service to the blog. It did most things for me so I never bothered with a laptop. Well, all weekend I waited for a jinnee to hand me a laptop, iPad or whatever and as its yet to happen, I'll post from my phone for now. It's the most inconvenient thing ever but...

So yesterday was Mother's Day and everyone couldn't stop talking about their mums in the most colourful ways. Have you noticed how everyone's mother is the strongest, kindest, bravest mother in the whole world? LOL. 

I certainly think my mum is all that but even at my age I can hardly think about my mum and not remember the first ass whooping she gave me. My mum strongly believed in using the rod! 

It was one night, I must have been no more than 7 or 8 and my immediate older brother maybe 11. He was in the living room, I was in my daddy's room and each room in the house had a phone. We had a call and both picked up different phones but the caller obviously hung up because we only heard each other's voice. "Drop the phone" my brother said. "No you drop the phone" I challenged him. "Fuck you" he said. "Fuck you back" I retorted. "Both of you should come to my room right now", my mother's cool and stern voice boomed from the phone. 

Oops, she had picked up the one in her room!

We both marched solemnly there knowing what was to come but I never knew that that stick could hurt like the devil. Jehovah! My mum gave me 6 brutal strokes, 3 on each palm. I was jumping, crying, pleading, begging, making promises. I legit thought I was going to die. 

LOL. Mothers are the best though. 

Happy Mothers Day (in arrears) to all mothers. And to all the beautiful mums on the blog; Mallama, Tiwa, cccc, Clare, Miss Pynk, TNHW, J, Enjay, Miwa and everyone else, especially those trusting God for their own bundles of joy. 

Tell me about yours, and do you remember the first time she whooped you? Or wait, was your Mum the "use your words" type instead? Lucky you! πŸ˜‚



  1. Thanks, Thelma. I wish all females happy mothers' day, at one time or the other we've all played motherly roles even as children.

    The first time my mom beat me. It was with a bunch of broom as we didn't have any cane at home except she was going to break one out of the cane chairs.

    Result of the beating was a stick of broom got into my palm and had to be removed. Talk about double pain.

    Cause of beating was my discovery of a porn magazine in the house and then our older neighbour got hold of it. By evening, the whole house had seen it.

    Funny I can't remember her beating me again after that. I love her still. Very much.

    1. Lol, let me tell u d spanking I remember.

      I was 8years old, primary 3, we were returning home after school, and my bestiE, some other pupils and 1 were going thru dis porn mag. Time to go na, I don't know d devil dat spoke to me to take it home. I promised d owner i'd return it tomoro.

      I don reach house na, I don't know what happened, and my mum got to c it. Chai! Zanders!

      I was tied round with rope and given d beating of life, locked up and without food till night.

      That was the beginning of wisdom oh.

  2. Awww...Thanks Thelma...Happy Mother's Day to our moms as well.How can I remember the first time Iya Yetunde flogged me,lai Lai..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚..My mom designed my body with cane growing up,ranging from omorogun (the stick we used to make amala),antenna wire,those koboko that smelled like shit sold by mallams and then canes...I used to tell people she is not my mom dad never flogged me.P.s.I would never wish for any other mom though because like I call her,she is my SAN..(senior abiamo of Nigeria)TNHW

  3. Happy Mothers day my dearest people . Just wanna know how many mothers day we have . Not that it's too much to celebrate our mom's. But it's confusing . I recall I wished my mom HMD recently before yesterday's Date.

    My mother , we nicknamed her "wounded Lion". Don't mess with her. She flogs like kilode. I recall telling my dad to send me to boarding school just to avoid my mom'.

    My siblings and I once asked my dad to confess to us if she is/ was truly our mom back in the days .Her flogging game was LIT.

    My elder Sister saw 99.9 . Her major punishment back then was making lots of pap and sitting us down to eat. Jezzz, we all hated pap cos of her.
    She really did sacrifice for us kids though. She would move the earth to ensure we were fed, clothed and went to school.

    I recall my mum traveling all the way to Benin and back to ensure I got admitted when Jamb kept withholding my result. I said I'd kill myself . She traveled went to see some uncles and came back with everything I needed to get set for Uniben Diploma. Robbers even attacked her . When we tell her of all her flogging she says she has no recollection. Hmmmm.

    If my Dad had handled us alone. I'm sure I won't even know how to do Nada. Cos he pampered us like eggs.I even thought I was all Buttered up until my mum showed us the other side of ajebutter to ajede Pakistan. LOL

    God bless our mothers men. They just do the impossible.

  4. *ajepako. This phone sha, always jumping to conclusion.

    1. ajede pakistanπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ almost Googled the location

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ kene oooo

  5. Happy Mother's day to all the mothers out there but have we stopped to think about the mothers in the animal kingdom who get to watch their babies being eaten alive because they cldnt protect them from predators? Or the babies who watch their mums being slaughtered for meat by humans because we don't know that being vegetarian saves the ecosystem in the long run? I thought so. You all think life begins and ends with the human race.

    Lol. Happy Mother's day once again...

    1. Hian, dem bring asun now, you will be the first to finish it...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    2. Bring on the asun

  6. Happy belated birthday Iyanu,Memphis and cccc...Wishing you guys God's best.TNHW

    1. Thanks a lot Yetunde. GOD bless.

  7. Happy belated birthday to your son Kon.Long life and prosperity.TNHW

  8. Happy mother's day to all the mothers in here. I used to it wasn't my mum that gave birth to me cause of her harshness. However as the years rolled by and I began taking major decisions in my life, I discovered that everything she did was out of love. I really really love her.

  9. I grew increasingly detached from my dad while growing up due to the kind of beatings I got from him. Most of the time I got beat up for extremely minute reasons. My mum also beat me/us, but it wasn't anywhere close to the brutality of my dad.

    However there was this day my mum beat me up, even my dad had to rescue me. I was in Pri. 3, wasn't going for the extra lessons she paid for, and she found out. That night she tied up my hands and feet (I saw her doing this and was wondering what the hell was going was looking like a movie). I remember hot lashes descending on me in quick succession with so much fury I screamed like I was being burnt alive.

    "Theresa you will kill this will kill this boy for me o!!"

    Wait...that was my dad(?). lol

    1. I'm just like this as well, except the part where your dad became sympathetic to the beating.

      Dad would clamour for more beating if necessary.

      Till tomorrow I still don't understand my father... Lol.

    2. "...clamor for more beating...".

      Na to run comot house be that o. Lol.

    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      We have a similar story Memphis, my mum didn't beat us a lot, that was my Dad's forte and he did it with passion πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

      Although my mum didn't beat us all the time, the few times she did were memorable. The first one I can remember;
      We had rented the movie Love Boat from the video club (or whatever they were called then) and we were impatient to watch it. She instructed Kabuoy and I to do our homework before watching the film then went to sleep. As soon as she shut the door, we sat down to watch the movie which turned out to be the stupidest movie I have ever seen till date, no head no tail (Ramsey Nouah and Genevieve). Mumsie came out toward the end of the movie and finished it with us and we all agreed it was a very stupid movie. She then asked about our home work and we started to stammerπŸ˜‚

      She was so upset, she found the nearest phone charger (Motorola I think) and made sure we never chose a Nigerian movie over school work againπŸ˜‚

      The second time I can remember was a hot slap in the kitchen when I was playing with candle instead of checking on the beans as instructed. My ears rang for the very first time in my lifeπŸ˜„

    4. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ love boat! I will never forget that very foolish movie πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  10. My mom is late now,God bless her soul.
    But I think the first time my mom beat me was the day I collected the coins she usually keeps under my box without asking her.
    I have since learnt that it is also possible to steal from your family. lol

  11. My mum has never scolded me or used the rod on me but my Step-mom has gone all shades of Jack Bauer, Liam Neeson, all the Kung Fu movies you ever saw on my behind, face, hand everywhere πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ on me. Hard to choose the most memorable of them all. Lol


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