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To Love Is Not To Die. Rest In Peace Karabo.

This is so heartbreaking. I opened instagram this morning and was flooded with images of the young, beautiful South African lady who endured physical and emotional abuse from her boyfriend while they were together. She eventually left him but he still murdered her, he burnt her beyond recognition, to death. 

She was kidnapped, murdered and and set ablaze by her (ex) boyfriend. This boyfriend in question even joined her family in the search for when after she went missing. What a demon!

Please ladies, I beg of you. We all see the signs, it's always there. You're too beautiful and too special to be treated this way. 

A few days ago, in my heart I nearly wished severe domestic violence on some women. I wanted to pray that they marry men who will ravage them and eventually kill them! Mercy Aigbe's husband was remanded in prison for all that battery and assault which included a fractured skull, and you'd think that this is something to celebrate as its a step forward. But no, many females were raining down curses on Mercy. Female, as in, her fellow women. 

How can you let them arrest the father of your child? 

Stupid woman. 

Are you the first woman that her husband will beat? 

You are a runs girl, always hopping from one bed to another. You pushed him to be beating you and now they have arrested him, wicked woman. 

When you're always travelling up and down why won't they beat you? 

God will punish you for letting them arrest your own husband. 

You're always forming pepper dem gang, slay queen. I'm sure you're always raising shoulders for him, you must have bruised his ego and pushed him to beat you. 

Your child would never forgive you for doing this to their father.

And I was reading this with my mouth wide open. What kind of people are these? Did they see those pictures at all? I don't care what Mercy did (if at all she did anything, because I know for a fact that most abusers do not need a trigger, they simply desire to suppress, oppress and subdue), he could have simply sent her packing or moved out. 

What if Mercy had died?

Many innocent women have lost their lives to domestic violence. Please ladies, to love is not to die, it is not to suffer, it is not to live in agony for God's sake! Believe me I know it's not easy to get up and go. I'd once dated someone that started little by little until one day he dealt me one blinding slap that threw me to the ground, for no reason at all (okay, he said I was arguing with him... 😒), and me that used to say if a man should touch me I will leave him ASAP, the next morning after a few apologies, I was back in his arms loving up to him. 

So I'm not judging anyone, I know it's not easy to leave someone you love, especially when they apologize to you with all the remorse in their bones. However, when I saw that that slap was just the beginning, I had to carry my slippers on my head and run. It wasn't easy, it isn't easy leaving someone you love. But sometimes love gba kwa oku! To hell with love. 

It's even more difficult when this person starts by abusing you psychologically and toys with your mind so much so that you begin to believe that you're worthless and no other person can tolerate you, much less love you. That's why, especially in the dating stage, when they show you the signs, believe them and go. Somebody else will come!

Sleep easy darling Karabo. You had friends in Nigeria who speak highly of you and what an inspiring young woman you were. I hope at least that some ladies can learn from this and save themselves. I pray that your killer is met with Justice. I pray your soul  finds peace. 


  1. Very tragic story indeed.

    I hope women take heed to the lessons from this story. And that men found guilty of such heinous act be appropriately dealt with to serve as a deterrent to others. Chrisyinks

  2. Saw her declared missing on twitter ystday,was shocked to see her trend as dead today.
    Emotionally manipulative people are the absolute worst! Cut them off before you hurt urself.

    Ps: The daily victims of domestic violence remains the kids thanks to the bible verse of "Spare the rod and spoil the child"

    1. Thank you for that postscript. The children.... everyone remains silent on that.

  3. Speechless.


  4. On one Sunday morning during sunday school,the teacher talked about how infidelity was the only grounds for separation in marriage. So I casually asked about domestic abuse(stressing on physical abuse), if it wasn't also good enough reason for a divorce. This man hesitated! Shocker- my fellow member(a lady) got up in a bid to answer my question and said that the wife should be able to know the things that provoke her husband to violence and avoid doing them. Long story short she can't leave because of domestic violence alone. I was mortified!
    I fought with everything within me to remain calm till the end of that service before leaving.

    1. U still do Sunday school classes? As a teacher or as a student?

      Be wary from where you seek council. I'm yet to come across where the bible permits a woman to leave her husband because of his infidelity.

    2. on infidelity ... the law of Moses permits it.Matt 5:32 touched on it too, except I've grossly misinterpreted it.

    3. Well,that bible verse is to the Men and not to the women.

      You didn't answer the q on the Sunday school

    4. As a student! You never graduate from Sunday school. Every Sunday you sit, discuss and learn☺

      About your first response, I hope a better opportunity for us to discuss it extensively will present itself one day

  5. But how can someone burn someone you claim you love, Mehn me cant endure domestic violence o no matter how much love is worrying me. One day i had a very heated argument with my husband in the middle of the night and i really thought he was going to slap me cos i said all the horrible things in this life that night, but he just went to the toilet and locked himself, the next morning he was all cool like it never happened, if he can have that self control why is it too hard for other men to control themselves, How do you beat a woman up, especially when she is even pregnant.
    I just dont't people, i know we women can have bad mouth but if it was your boss will you beat her? or even your mother?
    God help us all.

    1. Not all men would be able to lock themselves in the toilet! Don't take advantage of a peaceful person, guard your tongue woman and provoke no one to anger!

  6. This lady already left the abusive man, smart move! So this wouldn't be a case of domestic violence anymore, just premeditated murder.
    Horrible story, made more horrible with the revelation that his family assisted him in the cleaning up! Very gross, may the law takes its course and may the young woman's soul find rest.

    It is the season of noise about domestic violence, lots of noise from bored citizens of a country that thrives on gossips and low on purposeful life. Yes, I am vexing and mad than I used to be. Who is raising these people, both the abuser and the abused? What are the root causes? Is the educational system designed to teach the new generation of kids on social behaviors, human interactions and the likes? So many abusive folks online today and you wonder how broken people are.
    Now we are going the way of the "civilized" people, punish the offender! Same way the woman that was going to jump into the lagoon was taken to court for trial! In a country without any form of social support, punishing people for being suicidal is simply dumb. The old communal style of living is almost gone away, we are all locked up in our jail houses with DSTV!
    Individuals need to start raising their kids right, on not fighting back and not surrendering to being abused. Let's show the kids love backed by actions, it is only then we can start having the changes we desire.

    1. Where is the like button?

    2. Similar thing happened that year in Uniport. The Olodo threw the babe into Choba River and joined the family in looking for her. Even when Police was brought into the matter & wanted to pick the Olodo as a suspect, her family shielded him.. till it was proven, they never believed he was the Idiot that killed their Sister/Daughter. Thank God he was caught sha. It's also good to have a friend that knows all ones movement... might come in handy.

  7. Wicked spineless men who beat women. I usually do wish they get physically abused too in addition to jail term.
    See how this beautiful lady is lost on earth.
    It can be difficult to leave someone who abuses, because of love, children or whatever reasons the abused says but it needs to be done without wasting time.

  8. All I can pray for is for a lasting solution for these men who carry out this act.
    May her soul rest in peace, Amen.


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