Skip to main content

Back On The Dating Scene Like...


I swear I'd forgotten how much dating sucks. 

Today I'd have gone on my first "first date" in a coupla years. I got dressed, primped and plucked to perfection but when bobo called to say he was on his way I freaked out. 

So I replied brb to his message and I plopped onto my bed and noticed my palms and forehead had gone sweaty. I suddenly wasn't feeling myself. 

My head started spinning, too many question marks suddenly popping up out of smoke. 
What do I want out of this?
Am I ready for a new relationship?
Do I need just a rebound guy?
What does he want out of this?
Am I emotionally ready to be with someone new?
What if he wants something casual and I start catching feelings, can I handle that right now?
What if he's looking for wifey and I just want him for the good times?
What are we going to talk about?
What do people talk about on first dates?
Is he husband material?
Is he looking for wife potential?
Would he find my directness endearing or off-putting? (I find that the older I get the less filters I have)

And this is just another reason why I hate dating. The overthinking, the second guessing, the mindgames... All of it! And it gets even worse when one's passed 30. 

And it's obvious why. As a woman, especially one who wants to have kids, your biological clock is ticking, the dating pool is smaller, most of your friends are married and you have less or no one to be with which really makes you want your own someone...

Sometimes when I think about my single status I wish I'd maybe gotten married and had a couple of kids in my 20s and now, single again, I have the liberty to date whomever I choose without giving a single thought to the future, for now at least. Ahhhh, bliss!

Alas. When I was in my 20s I had other things on my mind. 

But honestly, somewhere at the back of my mind I wish I could just relax and enjoy (good) men and dating and dates and drinks and romance and kissing strangers after two tequila shots and mindless sex just for sex sake and travel. You know, just like in American romcoms, without having to worry about ticking clocks et al. 

So you see, I could be out having cocktails and laughs and witty convo with a charming yoruba man, but I'm here overthinking things and having my mind play 21 questions on me when I could be playing 21 questions with Mr Dimples. *Sigh*

Oh well, the week is just getting started. 

Share with me your personal 1st date DOs and DON'Ts, and deal breakers. Oh, are there any new dating trends 😂? Biko update me, I've gone rusty 😒😩. 




  1. I can't remember the last time I was on a first date. Unlike most people I know, being single doesn't drive me crazy or freak me out. I’ve been single for so long (excluding my last relationship that lasted 6 months) that I’ve gotten used to me. I know someone who can't be single, like she has to have a guy sha ni, she can't not have someone asking her out for drinks every other day. Me on the other hand, I don't know how to date anymore. If I said yes to any of the guys asking me out now, I have no idea what to do or how to go about it. Maybe I'm over thinking it but maybe I'm not.

    One thing I'm sure of tho is, I have no idea how relationships work. I'm so used to caring about me, what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing, enjoying my own company and stuff, I don't know what to do when there's someone else involved. This probably means I'm selfish or self-absorbed but, it is what it is.

    Anonymous 

    1. You need not know what to do when you start dating, especially if you dated someone you like like is good to you. You would just tend to care for the person somehow.

  2. I have no idea what's going on these days! I left the dating pool aeons ago :(

    1. Nothing new is going on jare, except that women are more open...sincere these days.

  3. "DOs n DON'Ts" is 6-3-3-4 basic education, you've passed that level. Right now it's up to you be happy in whatever way you deem fit (so long as GOD is in sync with your actions). Go see the movie ISOKEN.

    1. Lol.. I've seen that movie twice! Although it's a very good movie and the story is great, that's all it is though, a story. Only very few people are that lucky in reality to have two incredible guys on your matter at the same time and then choosing to leave the most "obvious" choice for love.

    2. My mum said Isoken was foolish! LOL.

  4. Be yourself, if he likes you that way fine, if not fine. Putting up airs to please someone is like holding in your fart. Very uncomfortable.
    A Girl

  5. Lmao @ "i've gone rusty" 😃abeg joor!

    Meanwhile hope u guys have been good O! T how is you nau? Trust you've been great.
    I've Missed being here. Cool to be back.

  6. That rusty part got me 'loling'. Just do you.

  7. "One thing I'm sure of tho is, I have no idea how relationships work. I'm so used to caring about me, what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing, enjoying my own company and stuff, I don't know what to do when there's someone else involved. This probably means I'm selfish or self-absorbed but, it is what it is."-Anọn 1:21am.

    This is so me. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Hello people. I've been gone for a long time that I feel like sobbing now...

  8. Dating at this our age also sucks cos most guys in the age bracket we would like are usually already married, separated, divorced or baby daddies, except if you don't mind a younger guy, it's a shine your eye phase of dating, it's something to go into prayerfully to avoid mistakes, there's someone out there who is God's will for you, it takes a praying spirit to locate him irrespective of how he looks today, I wish you the best Thelma

  9. Wait! So Thelma is single true true?!

    So Thelma...*clears throat* want to have mindless sex for the sake of sex? Ehh ehh... did the date go? On a scale of 1 - 10.


    1. Lol I didn't go again o! It felt like work jare. I'll let you know when we do.

  10. Truth of the matter, any guy u meet today whether single or married just wants to chop n go... but there are certain factors that'll determine if he will stay or go, and that is after chopping o!

  11. This time last year I was very much in love. It was fun, it was scary, it was so not me! I've never been good at relationships and I do much better when I'm riding solo. Right now I'm back to being single and it's as deeply peaceful as Always.
    Dating and it's mind games are fast becoming evils I just might live without.
    My advice to those who are looking to date though, is to stay true to self. Once you can master that, the DOs and DONTs will follow easily,


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.