plural noun: pet peeves
- something that a particular person finds especially annoying."one of my biggest pet peeves is poor customer service"
The phoneh at the other end of this phone last night had me wondering if I had the wrong person.
"Helloe Helloeee. Thelmar?"
"Yes, this is Thelma" I was hesitant.
"Yeah. Sure. I'm your Uber driver. I'll be at your place in a li-l bit" another bout of phoneh.
And that was how I was showered with Lekki accent from home to Lekki 1. Phoneh speaking people with no "reason" to speak phoneh are not exactly a pet peeve of mine. Overly chatty taxi drivers are. This is a list of my pet peeves 🙈
1. Chatty taxi drivers. I detest small talk. Lord, how I hate it. Now this cab driver wasn't only the king of small talk, he kept on cutting into my phone conversations and then laughing cheekily. I wanted to tell him, boy you're not cute. Cut it out! I was heading to Lekki 1 to meet him for dinner. I called my friend Yoko to ask "where can I get very nice seafood in phase 1?". "Sea food as in fish, or seafood shrimp, prawns...?" She asked.
"Yes. Prawns, calamari, oysters...?"
"Besides Ocean Basket I'm not too sure. You can try Beehive. They have this really nice seafood pasta".
I ended the call and next thing he started again. "Ooooh, you like seafood, yeah? Me too. You did not have to call your friend, you can ask me. You can get calabari in The Place, and other seafoods too". Calabari? The Place? Issokay. Long story short, I think cab drivers should only speak when spoken too.
2. Guys with very long finger nails. Dude, that's just weird.
3. People who are half your size and complain to you that they need to lose weight.
4. People who habitually pick food off your plate without asking. (My sister, number 1!)
5. When I'm at the movies or in a classroom or in a bus or in church and there's space and empty seats everywhere else yet you come to sit beside me. Aaaaargh!
6. People who try to "sharply" cut in front of you in traffic, without trafficating or signaling to you.
7. People who take their precious time cat-walking, when a car stops for them to cross the road
8. Grammatical errors on memes with deep quotes
9. Passive agressive people. Damn, I simply can't stand it!
10. Small talk.
11. Poor customer service. Like, what's the point of customer service...?
12. People who use literally wrongly (in place of figuratively). How can you say "I literally got crushed by a train?". Literally means it actually happened dammit!
13. People who have conversations you can hear from two rows away, at the movies.
14. People who don't put their phones on silent during meetings, classes, church service...
15. Friends who habitually miss your calls and don't call back or even acknowledge that you called.
I could go on and on.
LOL. These are my pet peeves.
Ps; so my friend sighted mad traffic on the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge and turned back into Ikoyi, asked me to meet him at Southern Sun instead. It was getting late and I was getting tired so I said "let's see tomorrow instead". Then I asked the cab to kukuma take me to The Place and I went and bought coconut rice and tilapia fish and went home. I guess my phoneh speaking Uber driver was on to something all along. 😢🚶🚶