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Thursday, 6 July 2017

30 & Single Is Not a Death Sentence, Dear Kamsi.

I’m 29 and Female. I met someone recently, we clicked and then he ghosted. It hurt like hell, but I didn’t bother reaching out to him Albeit, im getting worried that maybe I may never find someone who would want me especially in this part of the world where Nigerian men like much younger women. Ill be 30 in three months time. How do you tell a guy you’re 30? I think most guys don’t like women who are over this age. Ive just removed thoughts of dating from my mind. Please can a woman still find love with a good man at 30?

Guys, I saw this comment on Bella Naija this morning by a commenter named Kamsi. I read this and I'm thinking what do people think this 30 thing is all about? Why do people put themselves under so much pressure over turning 30. I have SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH to say on this but I'd rather hold on and hear your honest thoughts about this. 

But let me just say, I had a lot of fun in my 20s, but just 2 years into my 30s and it's even more exciting than the whole of my 20s put together. I had my first real relationship at 30 after a long series of several pseudo relationships. And two years later, I'm single again and I've never been more optimistic or excited about my dating (relationship) prospects. Although the dating pool is narrower, it has never occured to me for a second that I'd have a problem finding a man. The only question mark is finding true love & a good man and that's something that's a challenge at any age, 18 to 80. I'm still meeting guys everytime I leave my house, younger, same age, older!

In fact just on Saturday I met this slightly younger guy at Shoprite Asaba, he lives in Lagos too. We've been chatting and we're going to watch Isoken and have drinks afterwards, tomorrow evening. 

Last night I was out on a very nice date with a man in his mid 40s who's interested. 

No, I didn't miss going on all these dates, but my point is, ladies please there's no shortage of men. If you find a good man who wants to marry you in your 20s then please wed him, as long as that's what you want. But don't begin to panic and jump on just anyone who comes along because you think that once you're 30 it's the end. It isn't. 

These are my thoughts. I read comments of people who share her fears and also those who agreed that many guys shy away from dating a woman once she's over 30. So it's obvious that we all have different opinions and experiences relating to this matter. Please share yours. 


  1. When will you marry..........this year, next year...bla bla bla.
    I got married at 27, had my first baby at 31 and at 35, i am depressed. I think of so many things i could have done with my life. I am having my own midlife crisis......Lol. The trick is, don't ever live your life planning for when you will marry, if you want to move to Australia, my dear.....Move. Masters unko, pls collect Unilag form and start their MBA, by the time the man comes, you have been there, done that and you don belleful. Or these 23 year old ladies getting married, i wonder, the height you could have attained..........Don't forget to also be hot like Thelma, decent like Memphis and be smart. Man will be around you like flies. Who no like berra thing. PS. i live in Warri...... I have been following this blog for years, left one or two comments, but i am repenting. Shinning Star is now in the building!!.

    1. Please don't be depressed.You would be fine..Your second paragraph says it all...TNHW

    2. Welcome Shining Star to this side of the blog....hope you stick around. And yes, yod'd be fine, just read the blog more.

    3. Oh hey Shining Star! You'd do just fine.

    4. But you're only 35. You have time to get what you want, if you' re depressed from thoughts about how you may have missed out on achievements. Just don't be complacent nor afraid.
      Good luck.

    5. Hello Shining star. You're officially welcome 😉. Thanks for the compliment btw. I have to agree with cccc, although I know it's easy for us to say. At 35 there's still time! It may look very challenging starting out but just make a decision and take it from there. The key thing is to decide, and to be deliberate. Very deliberate. Best of luck Shining Star. 😘😘😘

    6. You can talk to Kon. He might have 1 or 2 tricks to help. Is the depression because of marriage issues? Or just because you want to enter the world and achieve some things? Or..what?


    7. A very honest and encouraging piece of advice, well done Shinning Star. It's imperative that one keeps his/her focus and worry less about whatever isn't fulfilling to him/her. Life happens to everyone, but only you can control Life's pace, whether fast or slow.

      And I hope you come out sooner from whatever makes you depressed. Whatever it may be, please do not bottle it up; talk to close friends, close family members, and a reliable clergy (a problem shared is half solved). If you can afford it, seek professional help also. In all, just calm down and assure yourself that "This Too Shall Pass", it helps. You'll be alright.

      GOD bless, and thanks for the compliment. lol

    8. Hello Pple, Many thanks for the encouragement. If you lived all of your single life in Lagos and you relocate to Warri because of marriage, small depression must enter. I miss buying books to read, i miss my cheapskating of going to the cinemas on Wednesday, i miss Surulere but i do realise that i will be fine. I just have to count my blessings.

  2. Hold my beer..

  3. Lol, this 30 yardstick. I am 35 with two overactive 1 year olds and I am looking for how to start dodging them. I married at 32, waited 1 yr to have kids. When I am sleep deprived I wonder if we should have waited a bit longer. Gone are the days I can wake up and travel on a whim, resign from a job just because and do whatever the hell I feel like.

    I love my family dont get me wrong, but marriage takes a lot. Ps: I still get hit on by men even with my kids in tow on days I dont wear my rings.
    Men will always be out there abeg.

  4. Replies
    1. I hail you too!. Many Thanks.


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