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HELP! He Keeps Giving Me CASH!

So I met this guy a while back. Remember I told y'all some days ago that I'd gone on a date with this guy in his mid 40s? Well what I didn't tell you guys was that that was our first date and when we were parting he gave me some money for my cab. 

The date was rather very interesting. We met up for dinner and drinks at Zen Bar, VI. I practically spent all my time playing with my phone and eating as he had so many friends present. That was the first date and although we didn't talk much I already knew I liked him. Normally I'd be annoyed that it wasn't just him and I he explained to me earlier that in his work, the real business is done over bottles of beer and banter. 

I soon needed to leave and requested an Uber. When the Uber arrived he walked me to the cab and was talking to me while I was inside. I guess the chemistry was mutual and we weren't in a hurry to part ways so we kept talking while I was inside. "Hold on, let me take care of your cab" he said rushing to his car. I was both surprised and relieved because I'd spent way too much money on Uber and Taxify of late. He came back a few minutes later and handed me an envelope and rushed his goodbye. 

It was unusually weighty for cab fare so I opened it to investigate and there were 500 Naira notes. 50,000 to be precise. I was confused, I remember calling sasha bonΓ© to express my said confusion. 

Well we've been talking since then, I think I like him. We went out on Friday night and this time around he dropped me off at home. He slid his hand into my bag. I opened it and saw some money. He said "just incase you need to go out tomorrow". I said "ok, goodnight". That was 30k, which I subsequently paid as down payment for my car repair. I'm tired of dashing Uber half of my earnings!

Last night we had dinner at Yellow Chilli. He had a meeting at Sailor's Bar afterwards but I didn't want to go so I asked him to drop me off at The Palms so I could watch 10 days in Suncity (which I really did not enjoy, story for another day I guess). When he parked to let me out, he opened the pigeon hole and said "let me give you money for your movie". He counted some cash. He tried handing it to me, I could tell that it was about 50,000. I didn't take it from him. I was at that point truly confused and a tad annoyed. "What? Is it not enough?" He asked when I wouldn't take the money from him. He opened the pigeon hole to count some more cash when I shouted "STOP!

Am I going to buy the cinema or what?" I asked him. 

"I don't know nau. This one may not be enough" he chuckled awkwardly. 

"I can pay for my movie" I told him. 

"Look, I know you can pay for your movie but you may see something that you like inside. Just in case you want to buy something..." He trailed off. Forcing the money into my hands with a mischievous smile. 

I grudgingly accepted it. I like money as much as the next person but this was getting weird. 

"Do I get a kiss?" He asked me. 

"Nope" I skipped out of the car. 

I did want that kiss but I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss him because I like him, or because of the money. I needed to think about it.  

Earlier today I filled a form to open an account with Providus Bank with the 100k from the first and third dates. 

He has a few meetings in London next week so he's travelling on Saturday, and would be away for about a week. He's been saying we should spend as much time as we can together before he travels. He's out practically every night after work and has asked me to join him in the evenings. I declined. 

"We should have dinner at least two times before I leave. So when and when is good for you?" He asked when he called earlier this evening. 

"I will let you know" was all I could say. 

I wanted to ask, will you give me cash everytime we see? Because it's quite weird, honestly!

I know that he's one of these divorcees who have sworn never to get married again so right off the bat I knew that while he may want a romantic relationship with me, it's not likely we have any kind of real future together. Otherwise I'd maybe say it's a test bla bla bla...

But does that make it okay to continue collecting money everytime we see, everytime he hands it to me? 

In the alternative, bros may just see these monies as an investment with the cookie as his dividend. I think this might be his tactic as he hasn't suggested we spend anytime alone, he is very okay with dinner/drinks and then dropping me off. Perhaps uncle thinks that it will get to the point where one day i will just pull down my pants and scream "TAKE ME NOW!!!"  

Then again, he may simply be a jolly good cheerful giver, but that is very unlikely. Even though this recession benefits him, I still don't understand this need to give me money everytime we see. 

I know that 130,000 naira is not exactly a lot of money but the manner with which this one is being dispensed, there are reasons I'm not very comfy with it. 
Guys, I know I should say something about the money. I really enjoy his company. He is the life of the party, smart as a whip and extremely hilarious. There's never a dull moment with him and I'm growing quite fond of him. He's got a boyish look, other than that he looks quite ordinary but I've never been into pretty boys so that's not a problem for me. 

I want to discuss this cash matter and ask if he feels that he NEEDS to do that everytime we see. But I kinda feel like they put sugar in my mouth and I'm spitting it out. πŸ™ˆ

LOL. Don't judge me. What would you do in my shoes?

A. Talk to him about It?
B. Ask him to stop and tell him you won't see him again if he doesn't?
C. Just continue to dey chop dey go; enjoy it while it lasts?
D. Stop seeing him completely? 
E. Switch things up a notch, take "relationship" to the next level, he's a catch!? 



  1. I sincerely understand what you mean and get your predicament. Years ago, I would just enjoy the money and take it all in stride, if we ended up in bed, fine, but now, I would be uncomfortable too. I would be uncomfortable because I would think:

    1) I like this man. Whilst he's made it clear that he's sworn off divorce, I would not mind a relationship with him and, who knows where that would take us? I, however, am uncomfortable with his manner of handing out money, especially since I know this is the tactic of Lagos men to get a girl to give up the cookie, am I just one of those girls then? Is this what this is about? Is it about the chase, the game? I want to be the special someone and I want to be it without needing to "play a game", I just want it to come easily, to happen easily. Is this what it is all about then?

    Yes, my thoughts would be along those lines.

    1. Quick question. Is it really wise to want to be the "special someone" to someone who has made it clear that they are more about the today than the tomorrow? I think this is how a lot of us women get burnt. 😣

  2. Of course option A, the other options don't really make much sense. Money isn't the only ingredient in a satisfying relationship....he appears to be uncomfortably focused on just this one part. Chrisyinks

  3. Dude is obviously tilling the soil for planting.. who knows wat happens when he plants, well dats another topic altogether!
    In ur shoes, I will ask qweshin Oh, and considering my age in the game n all. I will be as blunt about it even. He needs to be straight abt what he wants nw!

    1. Don't you just love how the older we get the blunter we become? πŸ˜‚. No time for long story.

  4. I would talk about it in a jovial manner if I were in your shoes Thelma..Don't make it look like a serious problem,just start by asking him jokingly so you would know what you are in for...Dude might just be a cheerful giver😁😁TNHW

  5. Lol. Please, I beg you. Don't say anything. Talking from experience. Don't you dare. If you feel very strongly about it, buy him gifts as well or invite him out on your bill. Don't make the giving one sided. But DON'T ever tell him to stop. But hey!

    1. I agree with this suggestion, get him gifts and also try to find out what he wants exactly. I wish 130k would fall on me right now.
      A Girl

    2. This was exactly my view. Make the gifting reciprocal
      .. by the way prepare to be "extra-gifte" after this... also, I hope he doesnt know about this blog. Hehehehehe.

      Now the question is what will you gift him.
      Its too early to start talking , enjoy the moments.

  6. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚haha! This just reminded of a friend who was in quite similar shoes. As in the moment she mentions a thing, dude would be like, i heard you say this and that and i thought this (read cash or gift) would help. Large sums and mouth-hanging gifts.
    Oh well, turned out it was an investment with the Cookie as the dividend and yea she was willing.

    Option A for the win.

  7. Replies
    1. As MMM no gree work how we wan do this AWA 130k?

    2. MMM no gree ee work ke? It's been working since January o. Thelma this your 130k will yield 179k.

    3. Wait. People are still doing MMM ? 😨

    4. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ did Memphis say "awa"?

      As for this issue, I'm just here like wawu 😳😳 130k in 3 dates? Why don't I ever meet these kind of people.

  8. Liar, you are not that hot for someone to be giving you cash. Bring another gist.

    1. Liar alfarsi you once commented with a fake ID in a bid to win 1k recharge card. No wonder N130k sounds like $1,000,000 to you. πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚

    2. Thelma is savage 😰

    3. Rotflmao 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
      Bring it on

  9. Lol.

    "Blessings fall on me"
    "Favor fall on me"
    "Money fall on me"

    Never knew a day wld come when my friend wld ever complain about (free) money.


    1. LOL. I'm not complaining o! I just don't want to be eating like a happy, silly lamb in a fattening room that is being prepared for the slaughter. Dasall!

    2. Thelma, seems like you've never seen where a fattened ram ran away on sallah day abi.

  10. I don't know what I do. I guess o would just say buy gifts for him in return if you are comfortable with him. If you aren't comfortable with him then ask questions.

  11. Sheesh!!! 130k? And i"m turning down the 1k naira airtime top up a friend does for me. LOL!!! Wel, personally i have a thing against collecting money from any guy. If we go out on a date and the food is a tad bit expensive, we'll definitely go Dutch. If its affordable, i could let you pay or volunteer to pay for our food myself. But thats basically because of my upbringing and well, i hate that famous line of "after everything i've done for you". But Thelma, your case is different,youre an independent lady who is comfortable...atleast to an extent, so if you don't feel bad about collecting the money, then its okay. But i"ll advise you talk to him about a polite way, just ask him if its a thing for him or if he has "ulterior motives" behind the generosity. So atleast you'll know/understand why he does it. Besides i think the guys will answer this question better. Memphis,finish your statementπŸ˜€! Kon, what do you think? And every other guy in the house; please chip in.
    Meanwhile Thelma, i like the "opening account" move you made. Very good something. Atleast if nothing works out between you two, your account balance can always make you smile. BV Alabi Yetunde, please what does "TNHW" mean?

    1. TNHW--that naughty house wife 😎😎....

    2. Anon ooo! Please get used to people giving you things. God does not come down to bless people himself, he uses people. You may just be turning down God's blessings because of pride or fear. I'm not referring to this 1k credit or even my situation in this post, but I think you should disabuse your mind from this line of thinking. In fact, sometimes I think the reason I often get lucky is because my mind and my hands are open to receive. I am ALWAYS expectant of blessings and because of that it often comes my way. Also, the more you receive, the more you have to give others, so... ☺️

  12. Lol keep collecting we can find a charity for you to give it to. We wont help you repay his investment sha. You are on your own for thatπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    1. Miss Pink you're mean! 😰😭

  13. The dude is lame! 2 reasons:

    1) You havent had a private date yet. Its cool with other people the first time, ehh maybe the 2nd time. But 3 dates and none is exclusive? Its a sign. He probably needs the company of others to feel cool. Or he might not be able to hold a conversation well when its just two of you. Or something.
    2) I know niggas that throw money around. They are messed up mentally. They have gotten to the point that they need to use money to make a girl like them. He seems like the kinda dude that if you take away money from him he will be a completely different dude.

    Girl. Analyze the matter well. These are red flags.

    Meanwhile. What business is bros doing? Does he need business partners?


    1. Kon don't be abusing my baby boy for no reason jor. It's only the 1st date that wasn't exclusive. The 2nd and 3rd were.

      Your second point may be right BUT there's so much more to him than his money. However I'm honest enough to admit that the cash adds to his appeal. πŸ™ˆ

  14. Please let me send my account number for tithe. 6170712636- fidelity bank. If you see my reaction when you said 130k was not much, please allow it to fall on me abeg. The only thing I'm curious to know is where you met him? May be I should go and stand there too.

    1. LOL Funny enough I met him in my sister's husband's village in Anambra state. The most unlikely of places...

  15. someone is telling God how to bless her. πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“

    1. Ndi otu Frank Edward nno nu o! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  16. I'd say A,talk to him about it, obviously it's making u give him some distance,bc u're not comfortable wt it. He's a friend u wanna ve for a lil while longer, so don't blow it over sth u cud ve talked about. Reminds me of when a certain guy was on my case, same as above, wtout asking for d cookie not even once, very serious about meeting my dad. Turn off was dat he's way older

  17. Although this is still really early, i would love for you to find out why he is a divorcee, did the marriage have children?. Don't ask him directly, ask around because these are usual red flags. As regards the money aspect, it might just make him feel good knowing that he is taking care of a bill. Although it is a bit dangerous, some men think money helps love grow. Don't also be fooled, he will form his own opinion about you. Stop collecting,until the relationship is defined.

    1. Bet you missed where the guy already said he is not looking to remarrying? What then is the purpose of checking why he is a divorcee or has kids?

  18. Very interesting comments here, but nobody paid any attention to behaviours peculiar to different generations or certain class of people.
    An older guy that is not stuck up (omo jayejaye) with enough resources is likely going to be very generous. Simple fact, nothing to do with mental illness. And please, it is not really for the purpose of getting in anybody's pant! It is a general knowledge that the appearance of the right kind of man is enough to get an average woman into bed without inducement.
    Can't people just see gift as gift without reading meaning into it?

    Better to politely talk to the guy about it, if you must, lest you damage his ego. But why bother sef? Only foolish guys will turn around to whine about a girl chopping unsolicited money.

    By the way, I am in big celebration mood from now till September and would love to share some love with the folks here. Ideas? Not recharge card oh

    1. Whoosh! Congratulations on whatever's going on in ur life uncle Wale..

      Good news fall on me too
      Excitement fall on me too!
      Celebration fall on me too!!

    2. Good good!congratulations!

    3. Congratulations Oga Wale. You can send someone on a trip somewhere or sponsor a weekend at a nice resort or even movie tickets.. and you can buy me designer bag😁😁😁

  19. Thelma please does he have a brother?


  20. Thelma please run, you are too old to be in a relationship with someone who has categorically said no future, money or no money


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