Hello Thelma please post but keep me anonymous. I am 28 years old, my partner is 43, divorced and a father of 3. I am also a single Mum with a 5 year old. We have been dating for 8 months now and I can say he is the best thing that has happened to my life. He is not so eager to get married again and neither am I ready for marriage either so this relationship suits me. I know that is sounds strange that almost 30 and I don't want to marry but it's because I don't feel ready to settle down yet, also I am not at all ready for marriage. My career goals come first for now, i have worked too hard to let anything slow me down right now, besides am very okay with my daughter. I am writing because I'm hoping I can get advice, 8 months of dating and no sex with my man. Truly I don't understand it. He says sex is a very big commitment and also a spiritual act. He says he loves me and he shows it in every way, but he has refused to have sex with me. It is not about me because even his friends tease him that he has no amu (dick in igbo). That's because even when he had side chics as a married man he never slept with them either. I heard his exs also left for the same reason, that is, no sex. I am getting very frustrated. I have done everything short of raping him but he doesn't budge. I like to commit to one man but I am not a virgin or celibate, I enjoy sex and I also think that it creates a bond between 2 people. Ironically this is also part of the problem, he says that sex creates a bond and talks a lot about soul ties. He is also always talkin about how you can sleep with some girls and after that your business will just pack up. I am confused, I love this man so much, he has helped in boosting my business, takes me on trips around the world, even paid my daughter's last school fees and plays a fatherly role in her life. My daughter also loves him and is begging me to marry him lol. I know that neither of us want marriage right now bt we both want a committed long term relationship. I don't want to lose him because men like this don't come along often, but I need sex. I don't want to be celibate. Sometimes I wonder if he is gay and I've even challenged him but he just laughs it off. He keeps saying sex is no joke and he does not take it lightly. Please what does this mean? If I cheat on him by having sex with another will I be justified? I cannot break up with him so don't advise me to, he is the best thing in my life after my daughter. He is a very good and decent, is also has wonderful leadership qualities and these are some things I admire in him. But I need a man to grab me and ravage me like a wild animal lol, no insults please I am just being honest about my feelings. I was single for a few months before I met him so it is almost one year since I last had sex. I have tried to help myself out but nothing is working. If your partner is depriving you of sex won't you go and get it outside? Please be honest with me.