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Drunk Post.





Last night, I got home feeling extra tired. Mentally, emotionally maybe, not physically. I remembered I had a bottle of Black Label behind my bed, it had been there for months. I'm not much of an alcohol drinker, not the type to drink except occasionally when socializing so it wasn't any surprise that this one had been left unopened and forgotten for months. I ran downstairs, filled a cup with ice cubes, came back and poured myself a generous serving and began to sip, hoping all my thoughts would just fade into the background, until the next day at least. 

I wanted to stop thinking about money for a while, and be able to sleep through the night. These days when I'm not working I'm thinking about work, and my sleep has gone to 4 hours and I wake up thinking. It's not a bad thing but I wanted a break. It worked. 

But, next thing I know I'm now thinking about my ex. Thinking. Then I started to get angry. Very angry. I was mad. Infuriated. And then I thought it would be a brilliant idea to document that anger. I grabbed my iPad and started to stab the keyboard with my fingers. I let it all out. I vented, I talked, I questioned. I talked and talked some more. Every sentence had the word fuck in it. I wanted the world to feel my fury, I wanted the man to answer my questions.

And then I clicked publish

I woke up this morning with a dull throbbing in my head, it was an Oops WTF have I done? moment. I quickly ran to my pad and opened it and ahhhhhh, thank God, maybe my fingers were shaky from drink and it didn't click publish after all, or maybe God just wanted to take pity on me. 

As I read each line beads of sweat started to form on my forehead. What if I had posted this? 😳

Jesu!!!

The world would have known all my secrets by now oooo! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

TTB readers and even other visitors would read with their mouths wide open. 

Jehovah I thank you. πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

Because by now I would have dug a hole and jumped into it then tell Sasha BonΓ© to use shovel and pour sand over my head. 

LOL. 

Alcohol is a bascard. And to think that after writing it I read it severally and it looked like a good post to post. πŸ˜…

Kai, God just saved my ass.

It's still on my iPad. Would you like to read it? πŸ™ˆ

Has alcohol ever made you do something you later regretted. 

Spill the tea!!!!

If you've never ever tasted alcohol in your life say Bye. Sunshine and Kabuoy I'm waiting for your Bye's. LOL. 





.

Comments

  1. ****crawls out of the woodwork to comment*****

    Hian, Thelmz Thelmz (does anyone ever call you that?)

    Biko come and spill the tea. We are family na, so nothing to worry about. We all on this blog have got your back.

    As for me and alchohol.. somehow I always know how to never cross the line. But many years ago when Obi was still a boy, Obi went clubbing with his girlfriend and after a lil too much to drink went to pee. On his way back Obi saw some nice chics standing near the door and proceeded to rock n roll. It was here that his girlfriend found him busy winding waist in happiness 20mins later after waiting and wondering what was keeping dear Obi.

    PS: the above may or may not be work of fiction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Certainly not fiction.

      Delete
    2. Reminds me of mine ...lol. Went clubbing, and saw this lady......sha danced and rocked waist for a while. After she got tired, na so I turn to the next babe and was making attempts to dance with her. Later I got to know that they were sisters ......alcohol no let me see me the facial resemblance.

      Second one was this girl I had some sort of crush on. Got invited for her birthday party. After a few bottles here and there, started kissing and grinding waist suggestively with her. Thing is her birthday party was sponsored by some big guy (in all literal sense) who didn't take my attempts lightly. Thanks to good friends who saved me and ensured I left the party at a decent time when thoughts of staying over was floating in my head. Chrisyinks

      Delete
    3. Wait wait! Chrisyinks?! You? I could have sworn that you only get drunk on Guardian newspaper, Quantum physics and history channel.

      Peace

      Delete
    4. @ Kon, lol.....apparently I have had my days too. Chrisyinks

      Delete
    5. Chrisyinks ke! That's not true!

      Delete
    6. @ Chinenyenwa, I'm not a saint, although I now very much see the wisdom in sticking to the 'good' path. The events happened about 5 years ago. If memory serves me well, only clubbed twice and the events are pretty much the extreme lengths I've gone at a party. Chrisyinks

      Delete
  2. BYE .*crawls back*Welcome.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol@ alcohol is a badcard...I remembered my 20th birthday and I took a bet to not getting drunk...I had my boyfriend and other toasters at the party sha,one idiot had to go get pastis.After taking it,I didn't know what came over me and the rest was history..When my boyfriend played me the clip of my madness in the morning ehn,I knew alcohol was a BASTARD..
    P.S...Thelma me I don't want to read your rants oh😜😜..TNHW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're a good woman jare. Don't mind Quaggar and co that want to show my nakedness to the world.

      Delete
  4. Dear Thelma.
    Mail the rant to me so I can advice appropriately.

    Im the type that is always under control no matter how much I drink. I can loosen up and talk a lil bit more but there will be no display of madness. Never.
    Highest is that Ill go throw up somewhere and be back like nothing happened.
    But these days Iv started to get to the point where I will drink and cant remember what happened before I crash. Thats cray!

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
  5. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ Thelma sorry to disappoint you ooo! 🀣🀣🀣

    I have tasted alcohol before.

    I was in SS 2, danfodio dorm 2. It was Chibbie's birthday and someone gave her a pack of don Simon juice(or so I thought because it had fruits on it) black pack. I can't forget the color.
    The "juice" was passed around and everyone had a gulp... some of the girls were grinning when it got to my turn but I didn't understand... until I poured the thing in my mouth and someone just screamed "it's alcoholic" and burst into laughter.
    I spat it out but of course some already went down my throat.
    I cried, prayed, called my mom and told her my tongue had been defiled. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
    I was soo upset and felt betrayed. πŸ™ˆI felt like I had disappointed God greatly but of course I know better.

    My first and only encounter with alcoholic drinks. 😁

    Meanwhile I want to read the post ooo!!! Spill!!!!!!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my baby,I am sure God has forgiven you. Go and drink no more.

      Delete
    2. HaaaaaHahahaahahahah
      Hoohhahahahahahahaah!

      You cried? Prayed? Tongue defiled? Hahahahaha!!!

      Delete
    3. LMAO.. I remember this story. You were still very pained one month after when we came home on holidays and you gisted me about it.

      Themla, I don't know why my name is up there but Bye y'all

      Delete
    4. Lemme help you type your bye bye bye. Is that one tasting? Mtcheeewww

      Delete
    5. *whistling to tenientertainer's new song #fargin TNHW

      Delete
    6. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Really though???

      Delete
    7. "...called my mom and told her my tongue had been defiled..."

      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  6. I don't think you were really drunk sef, you were high. Drunkenness? no fingers to type sef. Sha thank your God you didn't publish the post...it may not be bad sef.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've taken smirnoff twice or so when I was out with my friends and their mocking game was on the overdrive. Otherwise Yoghurt is abulo☺.
    Thank God you didn't post. The way you sounded, it's definitely not for public consumption and people like me would've read it before it's taken down.πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ

    ReplyDelete
  8. I WANT TO READ THE POST!!! Na when I take alcohol my own eye dey clear o, I've never been drunk or maybe I've never passed my limit, I cannot come and be explaining myself after eyes don clear!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Alcohol nah bastard. During my NYSC days, Went to a birthday party, I couldn't remember how I got drunk but the only thing I remembered was grabbing a fellow Corp members ass when the Devils basket was going on, I only realized what I did when everyone around started laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never been drunk, i almost don't do alcohol. I just don't get the point when most of them taste funny/bitter. And i like my health so.... lol. I'm not against it i just don't do it

    ReplyDelete
  11. lol... I can relate, alcohol is truly a bascard.. Lol

    ReplyDelete

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