"Where is your sense of humour? I was only trying to make you laugh".
Was the hurt response from Lenny, from of my ex's bestfriends.
Lenny had just sent me a series of candid pictures taken one night a few months ago of my ex and I having a hearty conversation. We were laughing, touching, teasing etcetera etcetera.
Lenny sat at the other side of the table and took pictures of us. The ex and I were a very expressive couple. Most times we were out together even with other people, we would have our own private gist of the most random nature, with PDA raised to volume 10.
In any case when Lenny sent these pics I had a really good laugh. I had the same pictures as he sent them to our phones the night they were taken but I hadn't looked at them since then. But the other part of me was wondering why he was sending them to me at this point, especially considering how much effort I'd put into moving on. I asked him why, sounding a bit angry perhaps, and he got a bit offended by my "lack of sense of humor".
Sense of Humor.
That's something I generally lack on Mondays, especially on Monday mornings, especially on Monday mornings when I'm not busy. Apparently a part of my mind hasn't come to accept that unlike people with regular jobs, I will more often than not have a pretty laidback Monday morning, and I don't like having laidback Monday mornings when other career people are frenzied and feverish from Monday morning fever, because when I do I tend to get angry and question my life choices.
This morning for instance, I woke up and almost instantly fell into that mood. I had a lot to put in place but they all required monies that I didn't have at that moment. While trying to create solutions for my money woes I got a call from my parents, expressing their unhappiness that in recent times I've not sent home money as often and as much as I should. For the first time I reacted, because you see I wasalready having a dark Monday morning, by telling them that they should read their bible, that the bible says parents should leave things (wealth and inheritance) for their children and not the other way around, that children are not investments. I should have known better than to say that because this only escalated the issue. My mum retorted by asking if I expect them to give me money at my age? I responded by saying no, I have not asked you for money in well over 5 years so don't even go there. All I'm saying is that parents should make investments to ensure that they don't turn children into sources of income later in life. Now, this double escalated the issue and their tempers. They both got super defensive and started to raise their voices at me. They told me of the children of ABC and XYZ and MNO who monthly would each give their parents X amount of money without fail. I countered by telling them about friends whose parents gave houses, landed properties, cars and millions.
Yes, at this point there was fire on the mountain. I wanted to scream but I had no choice but to try to douse the fire before things got too ugly. In trying to calm them down I reminded them that I do the best that I can and that when I can afford to, I don't withhold. And besides I do not have regular sources of income etc . Now this led to another issue; WE HAVE TOLD YOU TO GO AND GET AN OFFICE JOB.
This quarrel ensued for another thirty minutes or so and I kept on cursing at myself because you see, I was the one who called them to say good morning, have a great week, I love you... Apparently they were in a na love we go chop? mood.
When I was eventually able to end that conversation, I got a message from one of my workers reminding me that I'm yet to pay for some services that had been rendered. I looked at my account balance and said f*ck my life.
Then in a bid to stay sane I tried to focus on the aspects of my life that are working, if any, and I'm trying to be zen and happy in a catastrophic world, but my phone starts beeping and I open my WhatsApp to see about 7 pictures of my Ex in I taken at a time when we were obviously very happy and in love. A love that's still too fresh in my memory... So no, my sense of humour had taken a leave of absence!
So here, it's safe to say that so far I'm not having the best day. I wrote this in the morning and things haven't gotten any better. But I'm kinda happy when things are this shitty, because then I know that it can only get better. LOL.
To make it clear, I'm a strong advocate of taking care of one's parents whether they need it or not. I've done so ever since I first started making money, and my siblings feel the same way. I guess starting a new business is taking its toll on me. However, my parents don't exactly depend on us for finances, so sometimes I overlook it because it's something I've always done simply out of gratitude, as a "good daughter" and not because I felt it was my responsibility.
And now that this happened, I'm looking at things a bit differently; responsibility. I want your thoughts on this. Is it actually the responsibility of the child to "give back" to the family once they graduate and start working? Or do you think, just as the bible says in (Pr13:22, Pr19:14 and 2Cor 12:14) that it's the parents who owe this duty to their children? What about when these "kids" get married and have their own homes, do they still owe it to their parents to take care of their needs? What is your current situation; where does your family stand on this matter? Do share your thoughts.
Ps; it actually wasn't a fight. We've spoken several times since then. My mama can't do without me 😝. LOL.