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So What If I Miss You?

11.30am. WhatsApp:

"... Thank you baby. See you later today" 

"Ok hun 😘". 

And at that moment I vowed that he wouldn't. 

7pm. Phone call:

"I'm at that your place. Where are you?"

"*sniff sniff*. I'm home"

"Already? You're not coming here?"

"Nah. I had a long day. Had a meeting at Ikoyi club and had some wine afterwards so I felt a bit tired. I really needed to have some 'me' time so I came home early". 

"Me time? Ikoyi club with who? What meeting? Who did you go to see there?"

I smiled contentedly. This is the first time ever he would show any sign of jealousy, or anything beyond mild affection. 

"Some meeting..." I trailed off, deliberately sounding vague. 

"Hmmm. Ok where are you? Come nau? I've told them to prepare your nsala soup". He said, almost pleadingly. The first time he would ever sound that way. 

He was at our favorite local restaurant at Ikoyi. Roadhouse on Awolowo road, you should check it out, they make the best food in Nigeria! πŸ˜…

But not even their mega super nsala soup served with half ripe plantain and prepared with life chicken, thickened with stock fish and dried fish could break my resolve. 

"Maybe tomorrow" I muttered noncommittally. 

As the call ended I sank into my bed determinedly ignoring the hunger pangs. I'd had the wine on an empty stomach and now I was getting hungry. That Roadhouse nsala soup would have been the perfect remedy. 

Yet something in me leapt. Little victories! I was so excited that I nearly jumped off my bed to do a jig. 

You see, I had promised myself that tonight I would hold myself back. I would make myself unavailable. I can't always be there when he wants me. I should make him long for me, miss me, wonder... What is she doing? Who is she with? Is she even thinking about me? I should drive him crazy with uncertainty! Isn't that what that man said made him fall in love with Titilayo. Her unavailability, her independence, her indifference, the fact that she didn't need him? I hear that's what men like...

I smiled victoriously. YES!

Yet as I sat alone in the dark of my room I realized I really missed him. I wondered, is it worth it? 



  1. Every relationship is different. There's no generalisation with gender or people. Every mind is different. Do you. The victory was shortlived because that's not you. I'm not saying throw yourself all out but don't give a man who 'loves' you a reason to 'go crazy with uncertainty'. Best of luck.

  2. If you want to be like titilayo, then you're not being yourself which would be another turn off. Titilayo was herself, no games no pretense, that was what endeared her to the man. Besides this relationship matter is not one size fits all. Still, permit me to looooool at your last sentence.

    1. 'If you want to be like titilayo, then you're not being yourself.....' Gbam!

      It's perfectly okay to adapt effective tips from others but then we mustn't lose ourselves in the process. Perhaps, my most important lessons of that article: 'Whoever you are, live your life, truly and genuinely. Be sure what you’re doing is what you really want to do not what you NEED to do to get a man.' subtly emphasizes that you should do you. Essentially, chase your dreams, improve yourself, hang out with your'd find out that often while doing you, you'd sometimes be unavailable for a meetup, and that's okay, cuz sometimes while hanging out with hun, you'd be unavailable for other priorities in your life. I feel as much as we want to take the easier way out and create the semblance of unavailability, it was actually Titilayo being herself that made her boo fall in love. Chrisyinks

      PS: next time, you want/need to pass on such a delicious meal, ever hungry stomach could be put to good use.

  3. O baby 😘😘😘😍😍😍😍
    nah..... you're not Titilayo... you're Thelma 😘

  4. Lol at little victories...what works for A may not work for B.
    some people will suggest that you give no no room for another to come in, that way you're the all in all.
    Me self, I don't understand relationships.

  5. In the early stage when you starting seeing somebody....its like a game of chess. You have to make your moves wisely.
    Sometimes, its important to sacrifice delicious food and good company just to be 3 steps ahead.
    Being 3 steps ahead means you are the one being sought after. You have the upper hand in the relationship. But! You gotta be careful, you dont want to end up being 10 steps ahead. Thats when men give up and say "She get too much wahala jo"


  6. Hehehe, Titilayo ko Titilayo ni, Titilayo's case is a 1 in a million situation o, you better go and eat the next time you're hungry or he'll call someone else to have the food with him, lol. I don't think there's anything wrong in showing the people you want to be with that you want to be with them, if it makes them misbehave then you don't have any business being with them in the first place.

    1. Great points from you and Kon. I love to hear men's POVs

    2. Nice points omogbolahann. T just do you,you can't be Titilayo and trust me, she can't be you either.. Please don't make uncle miss you so much willingly again...

  7. This Thelma is not serious ohπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.Is your name Titilayo?You are a stubborn girl oh,now you say you miss him when you should have carried your bombom out of bed...Hian!!.....
    P.S...Kabouy,Thelma has my number you can collect it from her and add me to the group..TNHW

  8. Hmmmmm, I understand where Thelma is coming from and I know that feeling but trust me babe, these men are not factory fitted robots. Come to think of it,why didn't he offer to bring dinner to you at home? #JustThinking...

    1. Factory fitted robots πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    2. LOL, bloggitup had to find a way to put nigga on the guilty spot.

      I think it's okay to not always be available. If you are not naturally unavailable at some point, artificially engineer one like you did. The way he responds at those times could give you some insight. tor, the longing and uncertainty that may play out in his mind is healthy emotional exercise for him.
      That's just my thinking.

    3. Nice one Bloggitup!!

    4. Yup yup!!! That's my crush!!!!!

  9. hmmn.
    mind games.
    problem with mind games is the outcome could go either way.

  10. Did you say Nsala with life chicken? I think the moral of titilayo's story is be yourself, so you actually did the opposite of what titilayo did.
    So back to the main issue, you said the Nsala is thickened with stock fish and dried fish? Hmmm ok. J

  11. Lmao! But that man also said..."be you and you will find your own kind of man". That was the whole message nau, LOL. This is quite funnyπŸ˜….
    If you're fake, of course you will also find your fake kind of man.

  12. i still believe its not a one-all rule for every just have to work with what works for you


  13. If anytime you miss your loved one, you should talk with him directly so that you may share things with him.

  14. Hahaha, I think you added the Titilayo part as a joke.
    Anyways the kokoko is that you should just be you.

    Another girl

    1. Don't mind her, she added Titilayo on purpose. Lol

  15. Mind games often times boomerang... but who am I to give advice. Turning down that offer for nsala should be a criminal offense by the way!

    "To thyself, be true"

    1. Welcome back Buby πŸ™‚

    2. Thank you Kabuoy! Hard to stay away from such awesome people. 😘😘😘

  16. Rule no 1: Be thy self, but know your worth. Even if he sees you 24/7, it's in how you carry anf vakue yourself.

    Enjoy all the attention too.

  17. When I really like someone who likes me too, spending '25 hours of a day' won't make it any less.


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