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Too Old For This Sh*t!


So last night was nsala and plantain night. I went to meet up with my (no label for now) at Road House and when I was on my way there he alerted me that he was with friends and that Lolu* was there. Lolu is this guy I have some sort of history with, but it's been soooo long. Like, I think I was even in Uni at the time! But he still insists on telling everyone until this day that we did XYZ. 
       I got there and my (no label for now) was sitting directly adjacent to him. I completely ignored him like I'd never met him before. I was hoping for an okay night but my guy wouldn't just behave. Now this is someone who normally isn't touchy-feely. All of a sudden last night he wanted everybody to know that he is the one in charge. Stroking my thighs, my back, my neck, running his fingers through my hair, making it look like we do some real nasty freaky-dikky sh*t when we are alone, meanwhile we have never even kissed πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’. All of a sudden he wanted to make it look like we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I knew all this was for Lolu's benefit. Soon Lolu got up to make a call. Some ten minutes later this chic shows up. 
       Tall Amazonian looking chic. About 5.11, ebony skinned, HUGE knockers! She wore a short yellow bandage dress and red stripper heels, she sat beside him, meaning she was adjacent to me now! Lolu too now started the touchy-feely-stroking thing with her. Next thing my guy decides to take it up a notch and started twirling my braids round his index finger. It was like contest for the most sensual couple and it was irritating as hell! 
       The chica noticed what was going on and unlike me, decided to cooperate with her man, put her head on his shoulders and teasing his thighs with her finger tips. My guy now draws his chair even closer to mine and leaned in, hoping I too would rest my head on his shoulder. I stayed stiff like stock fish. 
        Miss Amazon starts whispering in his ear and Lolu is laughing foolishly, all the while looking across the table at us. I got up to go sit inside. Yet another thing I'm too old to have to deal with. I deal with little children at home all the time. I shouldn't get dolled up, leave my house for a nice evening and have to deal with men-children too.

Actually what I was going to post is that; I honestly cannot believe that at my age I would have Apolo.

Ok you probably call it conjunctivitis?

I have apolo and this thing sucks.


It wasn't like this when I was little, my eyes are blood red and they won't stop secreting stuff but worse still is that they're swollen like I got beat up and then they hurt and itch at the same time. And it feels like someone threw sand in my eyes and my head hurts too. And I'm irritable af!

Looking at this screen hurts too. 

So I know I may not want to post until I feel better, because looking at this screen PHYSICALLY hurts. BUT I want you pipu not to leave so I'm going to ask politely; give me gist. 

Please 😭. Comment something interesting that happened recently or is happening in your life. I gave you my own gist above. Now it's your turn. 

Drop yours below. Ps; I hear that if I put some drops of my urine in my eyes my apolo will be completely gone by night. I wonder if it's worth trying... Please forgive any typo, please. Can't read through this post. 



  1. Lame niggas.
    For me its more intense when Im in public with a chic and we arent even touching or doing all that PDA crap but when we look at each other. We both know that its gon get wild - cloths ripping off, disturbing the neighbors kinda noise. Might not make it to the bedroom kinda stuff.

    Who needs all the public touching? Crap!


    1. Kon... I will reserve my comments.

    2. Both Kon is being real. Me I don't like what d guys were doing. U know how they call men 'big babies'? U played well joor. What nansense!

  2. Lmao @ i stayed stiff like a stock fish. Mr no name yet should behave jor and stop feeling insecure.

  3. Apollo na small case. most times it's self limiting and a simple anti-allergy eye drop can even handle the discomforts until the infection clears up.

    I just want to say that the air in surulere is dirty, haba! Any small rush of air and a handful of dirt is inside my eyes. That's how they still had the guts to sell me a substandard charger. I'm even afraid to buy another one before it'll be a case of twice beaten😠

    1. Kene what part of Surulere are you in that you're inhaling dirty air? Please don't buy accessories from random places, go to Slot on Adeniran Ogunsanya or a good dealership or buy from Konga or Jumia, to be safe.

    2. I stay at an okay part of surulere, close to Fashola's residence before he became governor(I was told).I can't say the same for where I work.
      Adeniran Ogusanya is within reach so I'll check there.

    3. Meanwhile so sorry abt d Apollo, that feel is bad mehn. Another bad feel is breastmilk fever, from blocked ducts, kai, I have had dat sickness upto 6times, and I'm sure I can dash out all my possessions to get instant relief from dat ishhh.

    4. Kene Francis your comment reminds me of my sister. She complains about Lagos air... too contaminated, everywhere.

    5. Kene ndo. I haven't noticed this but I guess it's the area. If my guess is good, then maybe the blame falls on the industries around there. I only wonder that it's rainy season and the air feels better for me but not same for you, how would you cope when this season ends?

  4. Lol@stayed stiff like a stock fish.
    You'll be fine Tee,just don't try that urine thing.

    1. I won't. I heard it works but it is verrrrrrrry painful.

    2. The urine thing, all I know is that the cornea is delicate such that even eye drops are made isotonic and sterile in order to be fit for use. I can however tell you that urine is neither isotonic nor sterile.

  5. Thelma is that really you up there? you don't need a gun with those eyes, they can kill anybody, lol. Your guy was just feeling you jare, when he does PDA to you, do PDA back to him, lol, sometimes we're like that, even if it's just to get to someone, it's not a big deal...sorry about the apolo, I've heard about the miracle urine cure too but I'm not sure how that works, isn't urine kinda too salty for the eyes? I'm not sure sha, just get better.

    1. Awon people with gist, come and drop gist oh. Me I don't have much apart from, hoping to start a job on Monday, looking forward to 13th for my sis' wedding anniversary, and 21st for the bday at us embassy residence. Plus abeg who knows how to make pap from raw guineacorn?

  6. Sorry about the apollo...last I had one of those was in my early teens. Ndo, inu?
    Your nsala outing sure was awkward! Grown men being babies since the garden of eden.
    Unfortunately, I'm gistless. My life right now is a bit monotonous. Something really has to give soon....

    1. Mine too is almost monotonous. Every other unusual activities is all in my head.

  7. Thelma sorry about your eyes. I remember the time I had it. I was still in primary or was it junior sec. school. As a motherless girl when I be, my neighbors took upon themselves to attend to me. It was bitter leaves and local gin mixture they used in treating it. It wasn't funny I tell you 😒😒😒😒

    My place of work is beginning to turn into something else. Office politics and the likes.. ..I am beginning to get scared. Lord help me. Oh and coupled with that my brothers are beginning to get my nerves. How does one handle 3boys all by herself. ...*sigh*


    1. I hate it! A little work jealousy here and there, healthy competitions, I can handle but I hate office politics! Especially because it's stressful and I think if I have to get to it, I might do it badly! So I always go the "godly way"...put it in prayers.

      Ignore the boys, that's how.

    2. On a second thought, give the boys a talk about the cause of them getting on your nerves, check if you can help the situation and try to. But if it's purely mischief or wahala? Ignore the boys.

  8. Pls can we be real for once. I am dating a married man and many other people I know are doing so too. Both single and married ladies. Married women are even the worse but nobody talks about it because in Naija once you are a married woman you are automatically a saint. Any other single chic dating a married man here come and confess. I am tired of people on the internet pretending as if it's not a regular thing. Mind you I dint say it is right. Another misconception ppl have is that sidechics want to replace wife and that is a big lie. Most of us enjoy the perks of the relationship n all the fun stuff without having to deal with all the marriage problems. When we get married we will deal with our own.

    1. Tirri gbosa for you.

      Weldonma.. ..not judging though.

      What do you mean by perks? And can't single guys give them to you?

      Just curious

    2. Is your conscience totoring you?? J

    3. @Anon, not sure if you're seeking validation or reassurance, but i think you will find neither here.

    4. "...Mind you I didn't say it is right...".

      So since it's WRONG, what exactly are you looking for? People in the same pile of hot coal as you? Rest assured we're many in the same crap, but please don't be rest assured that you're doing something WRONG. The fact that we're many doesn't mean The Forces of Nature will consider our number and spare us. Stand out and do what is RIGHT, leave us to continue "being Real". Ok? Ok...

    5. I am judging you!!!!! Stop it!!!! Doing the right thing is not impossible!!!!! Just stay away from another woman's husband! Hian!!!!

  9. ...and my guy decides to take it up a notch..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. You sha know how to express yaself with words.
    To the gist- So i've been listening to this Pastor's messages for almost two years now, and today, i met him for the very first time. He organized a 2-day teaching seminar in my city. Yaay! Been so excited to have met someone who really taught and is still teaching me the Word!

  10. Thelma, so sorry about your Apolo. Take yeast, white vitamin c and there's an eyedrop most doctors/pharmacists recommend for people(you'll have to go to a hospital/pharmacy for that.) But these three combos do a great job. As for your the two men-children, don't mind them. They're just looking for ways to boost their not too deflated ego. Its not that serious.
    Oya, lemme give you gist. So I'm presently in NYSC camp and so far its been fun but stressful as well. I've met different kinds of people and there's this guy I kind of like. Anyway, its just for three weeks I'm sure the likeness will disappear soon. I was actually the one that approached him, was impressed with how quickly he caught up with the parade drills and i told him later in the evening and from there we started talking. Problem is, i have someone i like. We're not dating yet, so i don't want to start catching feelings for someone here in camp. Meanwhile the other guy i like,wants me to redeploy to the state where he works and honestly, i don't want to. I get the fact that I'm supposed to think about someone else when you like them and not just yourself, but before i got posted, a lot of people including my parents told me to start working on my posting so I'll get posted to a good place, but i told them I'll leave it open and leave it to God. For the first time in my life i actually prayed fervently about something. I specifically told God to send me to a state that would be beneficial to me both financially, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and in every other way. And i got posted to this state. So i don't want to redeploy because o feel like there's a reason why i got posted to this place, and my brother said something to me, he said "this is the one time where you get to live life on your own terms so do what is right for you and do it on your terms". Let me stop typing now, before i type a novel.
    Anyway,i hope you get well soon. Take care of yourself.

    1. Thank you Kiaraluchi. Please those 3 weeks are for fun, adventure, self discovery and not for feelings. Kick your feelings to the curb for now and have fun. If after camp he is still in your life and is showing keen interest then you can give it a thought.

      Now to the second guy, why someone you're not even dating yet would ask you to make a potentially life altering move like redeploying to his state is beyond me. You've made your decision, stick to it. If he wants a relationship with you, he will make it work regardless of your posting. You're inside Nigeria after all.

    2. What Thelma said..

      Have a fabulous year ahead..

    3. I second Thelmas thoughts. "Your terms baby"

  11. Same here...
    Dating a married man..
    It's wrong.. he was my boss and I fell in love..

    1. πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

  12. Meanwhile did i mention the chyking from soldiers? From mybplatoon supervisor who has made it his responsibility to "look after me" here in camp to the camp commandant whom I'm yet to have an actual conversation with seeing as we keep missing each others call to the other 3 soldiers who call every morning, afternoon and evening to know how I'm doing and to see if we can hang out in mami. Its hard to keep up mehn!
    Meanwhile how do most girls do it? Like allow these men take them out knowing fully what they want, allow them to spend and sponsor almost all their meals in mami and still say no to them. Personally I'll just avoid such scenarios from the beginning, if you want to call me so we can talk or have a discussion, I'm up for it. And if you insist on us going to mami, if i know I'm not with any money on me, I'll politely turn you down. Its not a pride or ego thing honestly, thats just how i am and how i was raised. And it doesn't help that my parents call most nights to remind me of those "values that were instilled in me from the get-go" LOL!!! Anyway who else is like me please? I'll love to know?

    1. I was like that while in camp and I'm still like that. I don't go out unless I have money, I don't like the feeling of entitlement it gives guys when they spend on you.

    2. Stick to your values babe. It pays. Have fun too.

  13. Thelma da bebe! Ji sie ike! Best wishes! Black Carpet Events!!!!! Sounds cool.

    That post doesn't open again and when it did I couldn't drop comments.

    Rotfl! I truly am not sure what I'd do if I were in your shoes! I like subtle PDA but I don't think I do it often,especially when people around me seem to be at it, but this type you described? LOL! But I'm almost sure I'd have said something like "you all are making me laugh." If I'm not angry at the time. I also like your stock fish move.

    Sorry about the apollo,hope it clears soon. The last time I had apollo,long time ago, it made me look like a fine Chinese girl, after the first day of major pain and discomforts.
    I've had boil on each eye within the past 6 weeks and I was even embarrassed! Like what adult has boil on their eyes abeg? That thing was painful and discomforting too.


  14. Okay, now that everyone’s said all the Kumbaya stuff, y’all know I’m never here for that, and I always keep it real. So here’s a piece of advice I have, which I hope would be useful to at least one lady/woman reading this:

    As a woman of purpose, to further your life’s ambition, you equally need to date a man of purpose. If the man’s goals and ambitions do not align with your own goals and ambitions, you have no business being in that relationship. Yes, as women, we like the attention, we like the butterflies in our tummy when we ruminate over the romantic things he did and said. We like that he’s so caring and looks out for us always. But after all is said and done, if you look to the future, and you do not see him in it, what are you wasting your time there for? Forget this 21st century lie of “Oh, I’m just having fun, I have no expectations for this relationship. I just enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine, so we are just living in the moment.” What does that mean? Do you also have no expectations for your life, and are just floating wherever the wind blows? Remaining in a relationship you ought not to be in because one enjoys the attention is doing a great disservice to your destiny, and your future self will not thank you for it. They say the difference between the foolish and the wise is the foolish wait till they make the mistake before they learn, but the wise look at other people who have made the mistake and learn from it. Let him that hath an ear hear.

    1. Errm....when would you move your inspirational talk mainstream? I bet you'd make a fine one. Chrisyinks

    2. Adaugo 😘😘😘

  15. Thelma baby, sorry about your apolo, if you are bold enough, try the urine stuff,it works magic... But your stock fish analysis got me shaa .

  16. Hey Tee, sorry about the apollo. I had it last week and it wasn't funny. It stayed a full 7 days and then some, I couldn't go to work for 3 days, it was horrible.

    The optometrist I saw on Monday gave me two eye drops but by Friday my eye was still the same so I saw an Opthalmologist that day who gave me Maxitrol ointment for the eye. She said I should only use it only at night cos it makes the vision blurry. I used it on Friday night and three times in Saturday (didn't go out) and on Sunday night, by Monday morning, the redness in my eye had disappeared. The name of the eye drop version of the ointment is Maxidex. It worked like a charm.

    You need to be careful not to over use the eye drop/ointment because they have steroids in them and too much isn't good for the eye. So if you get the drop, 3 times a day should be ok.

    I was lucky with mine tho cos I didn't have any pain or sandy sensation or headache, it was just the redness and discharge.

    Also wash your hands as many times as possible and ensure to keep your hand out of your other eye so you won't infect it also.

    I pray you heal fast..

  17. Went out with a frnd and her guy once, random outing just cause he was in town and his friend needed comapny or whatever. So obviously I was there for the guy and all and another of their collegues brought in one random ass lady and her and the guy I was supposed to be with hit it off yeah. So cool, I back off and enjoy my night only for the guy to start saying I was carrying face for him all night and started forming all sort of bullshit on how the lady was lnely and I wasn't being friendly to her bla bla bla, as if I'm stupid and blind. Mahn I just told him that we don pass that age I no dey do that kind he said she said drama again at my stage.

    Afterwards my frnd asked her guy to tell the dude to send some pcs we took with his phone only for him to say he deleted them just because I was in them and he was vexed that I was behaving like a kid. Mahn I weak Thelma, pesin wey I no go see again i my life ni.

    Some things that happen will just make you tired cause after a long ass week of work and life, who wants to start stressing again with man-childs


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intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
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