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Being Pregnant In Nigeria.





You know one thing growing up didn't prepare me for was Life. Getting older really comes with a lot of things that always seemed very farfetched to us, the sort of thing that only happened in movies or to someone else. Sicknesses, death, disappointments etc... These things come with life and most times, we're never prepared for it. 

I remember the time a former classmate and friend of mine lost her first pregnancy at 6 months. It was the first time that sort of thing had happened to someone I know, someone my age. Quite a number of friends or former classmates have lost babies since then, and this morning one of my closest friends confided in me that she just lost her 5month+ pregnancy. 

It was a really heartbreaking to hear, and what she said right after made me wonder about pregnancy (myths) in Nigeria. She said "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was pregnant. They say you don't tell people you're pregnant, they will see it for themselves". 

Hmmm... I remembered sometime in July when we had a girl date I'd asked if she was pregnant because I sensed that she was. She was all fidgety and told me she wasn't. I began to feel bad then, was worried I'd come off sounding like a womb-watcher and had made her feel pressured about not being pregnant months after her wedding. 

Well it so happens that she was indeed preggers but "they say you don't tell people..." And that's what I would like to talk about today. 

They say; these myths surrounding pregancy in Nigeria. 

Some days ago when Kim Kardashian announced that she's having a baby girl at the end of January through her surrogate, a lot of people were like wawu you dare not try that in Nigeria!

No, they weren't talking about the surrogacy, they were talking about her announcing the sex of her unborn child and the exact time that her arrival is expected. 

Nigerians treat it like taboo to tell people the sex of the baby and the due date and many of other things. 

I remember this one time I ran into a former classmate who was heavily pregnant. I hadnt see her since law school and this was 3 years after law school. In excitement I made to hug her and she practically jumped back while clutching her belly. She smiled awkwardly and simply offered me a handshake. 

I felt bad but many people said "don't blame her o! This is Nigeria". 

So I'm asking, what are the warnings you've heard about pregnancy and telling people about it? Do you believe that these warnings are valid or are they simply myths? Do you wonder about how people in foreign countries talk freely about their unborn babies, share scan photos online and tell you the exact day the baby is expected yet those babies are delivered safely, but here everyone says you dare not try it? 

What are the DOs and DON'Ts you've heard about telling people of your pregnancy and do you believe that's it's wise to adhere to them?

Let's talk about pregnancy and some myths that surrounded it in Nigeria. 





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Comments

  1. They also say that pregnant women shouldn't be outside in the afternoon or night...I think I like the idea of not telling people about your pregnancy and letting them see by themselves, it just doesn't feel right to me and I have decided that I won't know the sex of my children till birth, I want all the joy that comes with surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tee loosing a pregnancy is heartbreaking...i dont want to ever feel the way i felt that day. can you ever imagine preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes?
    do you have an idea what it feels like when you are told that your baby's heartbeat stopped? now let me tell you...your own heart stops literally. Well at my own heart stopped too, the only difference was that my heart beat continued. I dont want to ever feel the way i felt that day. Maybe one day, soon enough I will tell. No i am not going anon... I am naked and unashamed. #So many what if's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my. Habibi I'm so sorry. That's what happened to my friend too, she said the baby's heart just stopped beating. Honestly I can even pretend to have half an idea what it must feel like. If it made me cry like it did then I wonder what it would have done to a mother who has already prepared a place in her heart for the child who will no longer come. I pray you never feel that way again. Hugs.

      Delete
  3. *Wear a pin on your dress before stepping out so the pin pricks any evil spirit hovering around you.
    *Never wear dark cloths so you don't birth the devil's incarnate.
    *Never eat okra so your baby doesn't slide out of your womb to the floor. LOL
    *Don't tell people you are pregnant so they don't change the sex of your baby
    *Don't go to beaches or streams so "Mamiwater" will not enter into your womb and turn your baby into a fish or crab. LOL
    *Never get angry so your baby does not go back to heaven out of fear
    *Always drink plenty of water so your baby can take a cool bath when hot.(Odikwa sweeminpu)LOL
    *Don't allow people touch your stomach so they don't jinx your baby(Thelma have you hia?)
    Too many jare. Naija and Drama

    ReplyDelete
  4. Most times I just don't get all the plenty taboos we have in this part of the world.
    I remember this day in nysc camp, I was coming from Mami market after eating and met a friend. I have a big stomach and after eating some meals it becomes a very big stomach. So this girl hugs me and by mistake touched my stomach, immediately she stepped back and said I sorry I didn't know I had to tell her that babe calm down it's just my stomach that wants to get pregnant before it's time after eating a large meal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Too many myths about pregnancy. However, I feel people should take responsibility for their choices - hiding under the cover of myths isn't. May God bless bountifully those who are TTC. Chrisyinks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rememeber one my mum used to say about not letting anyone touch your head if pregnant else they'll exchange your childs destiny or whatnot. Oh and eating others food while pregnant lest they posion it or something. Nigerians just like drama

    ReplyDelete
  7. In our environment its a delicate matter. I dont have any problem announcing if my wife is pregz but I'd rather not. Because true true there are many winches. My ex GF might be a witch looking for revenge. Who knows?

    And I always respect people that are pregz or just gave birth. When I visit a couple that just delivered I dont get all over excited and start carrying the fragile baby. I just greet the baby with a wave. Before the couple starts looking at you suspiciously.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even bring my baby out when you come see me, I'll just tell you baby is sleeping even if you can hear her screaming inside the room, ehn she's sleep crying. My reluctance has nothing to do with spiritual Whatnots, I'm just mildly ocd so just to avoid giving the baby a complete scrub down every time a visitor carries her, I just don't bring her out at all.

      Delete
    2. She's sleep crying πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  8. Been ghost for a while now but I have small experience in this matter.
    Got pregnant right after marriage and upon hospital confirmation, I called my parents out of excitement to share the good news, both said ''who else have you told? don't tell anybody else o! our prayers are with you. People will see it when the time comes''. Hubby called my parents-in-law and they said the exact same thing. They even made sure to ring it to my ears that my invitations to family functions at the time were not valid.
    FF to when I started to show, one or two close friends and relatives felt offended that I didn't share the news with them as soon as I knew. And psychologically I begin suspect them too. LOL. wetin concern you?
    I'm naturally a bit nonchalant when it comes to spiritual related issues or situations that people try to peg as being spiritual but I truly suddenly began to feel overly sensitive post delivery when certain things began to happen, things suddenly began to feel ''extra'', E.g, wanting to give me money for baby and obviously insisting on dropping it in baby's cot ( it didn't matter that it was just around her feet, I was pleading the blood of Jesus at every touch, look and carrying) Extra - extra was when I was unwrapping gifts after naming and I found a torn supposed new dress.
    I think I like how overly sensitive and more spiritual the experience has made me though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey mami. It's been ages! πŸ˜’ @ insisting on dropping the money in baby's cot. That one get as e be o! πŸ˜“

      Delete
  9. I remember when i first told my mum that i was pregnant and she screamed do not tell anyone o, they will see it by themselves i just couldn't get why i cant tell my Friends .
    Anyways i have heard a million and one do's and dont's all i pray for is safe delivery i can t deal with Nigeria drama.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Welcome to Nigeria where pregnancy has a Whole lot of myth and because we believe those myths, more reason they hunt us...

    ReplyDelete
  11. The devil is real but most times these myths are over exaggerated.

    You can't reveal your relationship status in peace.
    You can't get pregnant in peace.
    You can't inform people you're traveling in peace, because village people.
    You can't repent from fornication in peace, you must go for cleansing because "soul ties".
    You can't marry in peace, your soulmate hasn't been born πŸ™„
    You can't use your fingers to make certain gestures in peace because "Illuminati".

    Complex Country.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You just have to love the myths!
    The best one is if you tell.people the sex of a baby, they can change the sex!...Well therr are winches
    ....
    When i got pregnant and went to the hospital, the GP said not to announce pregnancy and wait till 12weeks as in the early stages ur prone to miscarriage and its very heartbreaking if you have announced it and then you have to re-announce that you miscarried.
    It kinda made me feel like maybe thats why Nigerian parents say dont tell people about it..let them see but they have wrapped it up in this mystical myth.

    ReplyDelete

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