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Dear Thelma, It Started As a Joke But Fiancée Does Not Know My Real Age

When we started dating last year I was 32 while he was 30. On our second or third date he asked me my age and I said 27. I was joking and I even thought that he would think so too as I didn't consider myself as someone who looks younger and because I never thought that we would ever be serious, I  thought he just wanted sex. I never bothered to tell him the truth. But five months later and we were in a very serious relationship and he still didn't know even though by then I had forgotten about my age lie, until my birthday last month when he wished me happy 28th birthday meanwhile I was turning 33. 

He's going to be 31 in November. Ever since my birthday he has been talking more and more about marriage and our families are in full support. I recently asked him if he can be with someone who is older and his reply was God forbid so now I'm now more scared. I know he may find out some day, it is almost inevitable but I'm afraid that he will leave me if I tell him. Please do you think he can forgive me Or should I just keep it to myself for now?



  1. Ah!Poster are you a mamalawo ni, this post here is actually what we were talking about in my office and I got tired and decided to open the blog and DANG!! A topic for discuss.
    Like I advised my colleague,pls tell him your REAL AGE. You already made a mistake by not confessing to him when he wished you a 28th.Don't add acid to fire by keeping the truth any longer.#TellHimToday

    1. Yeah, agree with this.

      Just tell him that you may need to break up with him and that you've not being honest to him. Remind him of his beliefs that he can't marry someone older and how you feel age by itself isn't much of a determinant of a successful relationship but maturity, and how you feel he is very matured and you are mature enough to know that despite being older, you are willing to respect him (and trust that he'd respect you too).......then tell him your true age. And also, tell him that you didn't think he'd take it seriously when you initially told him your untrue age. This point might also be a good time for you both to come completely clean about other areas of your lives and relationships.

      Hope this script helps. Chrisyinks

  2. Simple stuff. Pick up your phone and tell him you are 33 years old. A nigga that is ready to marry you wont change his mind because of this kinda crap.

    Whats the big deal in marrying somebody older? Abeg abeg. If he even tries any dramatic vexing because of this, threaten to break up with him. Dont even give him the chance to ride/bully you because of this small matter.


    1. This here is the best reply... I tell ya.

      If he loves you, it wouldn't make much difference even though he might initially be pissed about the lie.

    2. Lol. Oga Kon, I like your style.
      But poster, please understand him if he gets pissed. Apologise but don't force it.
      So, tell him. Tell him in
      person. When telling him, don't be jovial nor serious. Talk about it like something normal but start with an apology.
      Also, what is your instinct about his reaction? How do you think he will react and eventually, his decision.

  3. Please man up and tell him your real age, at least it can be between the two of you alone if he is a gentle man. i and my boo are age mates, i am even older with 5 months but he says am his baby and it stays that way. Poster if he loves you with the love of God, age wont matter to him so far you don't disrespect him.

  4. Biko, tell him the truth ASAP. It's not worth the headache abeg

  5. plss tell him poster, it won't be nice living with such lies because it would or might lead to another lie... If he loves you, he would stay, like they say... Age is just a number or some random figures. I hope he takes it in good faith when you tell him.. I wish you all the best dear.

  6. Better tell him now! J

  7. Tell him your real age dear, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, if he's willing to accept the truth better cuz this joke is not gonna be funny if he finds out in the future.

  8. Yeah, just tell him, trust me, it's not going to be as serious as your mind is making you believe, we all makes these mistakes.


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