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*Edited*. And Just Like That I Lost a Potential Husband.


Why do husbands in Africa die most times before wives? A husband in Africa in most cases is under intense tension because he is responsible for:

● *Children school fees*

● *house rents*

● *Electricity bills*

● *Medical bills*

● *Generator fuel & repairs*

● *Car fuel and repairs*

● *Feeding of family*

● *Clothes for children*

● *Sallah or Christmas and New year bills*

● *Furniture &House maint*

● *In-laws wahala/demand*

● *His own aged parents*

● *His siblings most times*

● *His wife's demands*

● *Vigilante bills*

● *Erecting Building*

● *Religious demands*

● *Family social bills*

● *Electronics bills*

● *Recharge cards*

● *Extended family bills*

● *Community demands*

On top of the above, he also faces:

● *Wife stress/insults*

● *Boss stress at work*

● *Police stress on the way*

● *Area boys stress*

● *Kidnappers fear*

● *Friends stress*

● *Economy stress*

● *Fear of job loss*

● *Unemployment pains*

● *Armed Robbery stress*

● *Children misbehaviour*

● *Neighbours stress*

● *Bank loan paymnt stress*

● *Enemies stress*

● *Demonic attack stress*

● *Sex stress*

..and so on! OMG!!

Are these reasons not enough for all African Wives to understand and give their husbands peace at home? Are men not trying? How can an African man with these kind of loads be romantic like an American man? 
Women, please give *us* your husband's peace at home. Encourage *us*your husband's. Stop being sarcastic to *us*. Except if you like to join the widows club early! Note:
That club is not funny. Ask members. Help your husband. Contribute to the family. Be a helper. Be submissive. Stop nagging. Build your home and marriage. It is not greener outside there. Don't be deceived!! 
Let us  live longer like you. *We  dey beg una*



And so that's how my newest love interest, whom I was with last night sent me this after I got home. I immediately got very irritated and responded. See below. 

Well so we had lunch this afternoon and somehow it came up again and I'm sorry but I couldn't keep calm. I think I'm surrounded by too many female bread winners to smile at this kind of tripe. I daily see women; friends and family alike, go out and hustle and bring home the bacon, then still branch at the market, come home and cook, tend to the kids, serve the husband, clean, work from home, iron uniforms for tomorrow, cater to the man's physiological and sexual needs, when the man spends most of the day doing the bare minimum. 

My friend seemed shocked that I was so vocal about this. And then next came the usual accusation; so you're a feminist. 

No bruv, this isn't about feminism. I'm not even thinking about feminism. All I'm saying is never send me this kind of thing again, not even as a joke.  

Well things got pretty quiet after that and then I went home. 

In the past two years I've noticed something; women are hungry, women are becoming aggressive, women are grabbing the bulls by the horns, women are beasts! Women are creating innovative businesses. Women are becoming bolder and fearless. We're now going above and beyond not just to make survival money but to change the world. I attend several seminars, I'm taking classes on a number of platforms both paid and free, and the men are no where to be found! We aren't playing. Women are doing what needs to be done and I would be damned if someone comes and thinks it's okay to send me shit like "Ask the members of the widows club, it's not funny". 

This picture below is a munched screen of my classmates and I during a class meeting today. I have to blur the faces for privacy sake but not one single male. Not one! I've noticed that men have become to comfortable in it being a man's world that many are sleeping on themselves. Until the day they wake up and realize that while they slept, we toiled and now the tables have turned. 

We have our online class meetings on a platform called Zoom which is kinda like Skype. Our classes are for 2 hours every other day and with your code you log into the meeting and can join class from wherever you are. This course is not free and 8 classes cost well over N50,000 and we women are now willing to invest in ourselves to smash those business goals. I see many of my classmates either backing their babies during class, or breastfeeding, or cooking for the family. Everybody is muted, except the facilitator. But today this lady forgot to mute her speaker. I could see her backing a baby while vigorously taking notes then a man who's obviously her husband walks in and says "have you finished cooking?"

I just smiled. 

Anyways, I know somebody would read this and think it's another feminist rant, and frankly speaking I don't care if you do. I just want everyone to know that if you're broadcasting this kind of thing please remove me from your broadcast list, so that we don't have an issue. 

I just can't with these posts that put so much pressure on the woman to do this and that for her man. But these are my own thoughts, please share yours. 


  1. Consider the tables turned and you (or some other lady friend) sends him a similar Post listing out all the possible issues a wife has to face simply because the husband isn't sensitive enough to notice her efforts and the emotional trauma she has to go through, and he gets just as irritated? I've seen similar Posts on WhatsApp and Facebook, ladies always making sure men know about their traumatic experiences especially in Nigeria, blaming the man for his "usual" insensitive nature and then banding the phrases "Men are dogs" or "Men are scum" at will. What if the men who get these Posts are just as irritated? I don't think he was shocked you were vocal about it, I think he was shocked you'd sound so irritated by a Post that obviously exaggerates the role of the male gender, and frankly I'm quite surprised that this would irritate you to this extent. Unless there's a level of irresponsibility in a family, there's no Natural Law stating that a particular gender will or ought to Do

    1. My comment is incomplete!!
      *Redline* 😠😠😠

  2. You couldn't have said it any better. It's no longer a man's world. How many married women don't pay bills these days? I really am not a party to the whole feminism ish because i dnt even get the idea, but look around you, women are strong mehn, running a home a pursuing a career aint easy even tho they get the blame if anything goes wrong at the home front. Leave your husband to cater to the kids for a week and he will almost if not loose it. In the end, having a supportive patner matters a whole lot even for a guy. Cece

  3. Slow clap ... you dodged a bullet with that one trust me ... go go go Thelma!

  4. odd that a new love interest would forward that to u. speaks volumes about him.

  5. i mean, where does one begin dissecting the article from? is it the logic, the poor grammer. or the ill-researched assumption that men generally die before women only in Africa? where biko?

  6. lol. Funny. Ill ask again - Thelma, where do you find these type of men?

    I also think its not that serious. More women are doing great things these day, its aii. Everybody wins! I really dont see it as men slacking or tables turning for women etc. I just see it as everybody wins.


    1. Kon I'm even beginning to ask myself the same question. I'm tired. Lol.

  7. Men are generally self-centered and insensitive that's why they die first! plus when he asked if you were a feminist you should have just said "yes, aren't you?"

    1. Speak for your male family members please. It is irritating generalizing in this manner.

  8. I think it was a joke, and yes the exaggerations crossed the line their but you sounded a bit more irritated which is a little surprising. But it's fine, nothing wrong in getting offended by what you don't like.
    I've seen similar BC talking down on men too (the scum/dogs ish)and I take them very lightly, can't be wasting emotions on BC messages. No stressing, happy Sunday everyone

    1. @ your second paragraph, echoed my thoughts. Chrisyinks

  9. Calm down Thelma, it's not that serious, i actually don't read BCs again, it kinda always turns out to be crap!

  10. Thelma yaff vexed... Spot on sis, you couldn't have said it any better.. My mum has always and is still an example of women working their ass out. I just pray God blesses my hustle so I can reduce her stress...

  11. Thelma. I'm married and I totally agree with you.
    Even my husband knows my opinion on this ...I don't hide my emotions. I've told this marriage..we both have to do our own bit. Don't expect me to kill myself making you happy cos I won't. I also deserve to be happy. Happiness in marriage is not only for the man.

    He also knows better than to send me silly broadcast messages of what a good wife should be...cos I'll definitely reconstruct it and send the male version to him.


  12. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I saw a more irritating and infuriating post! Even my mom wasn't finding it funny!
    I should send it to you! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚
    Let's be angry together.... lol

    1. I have met too many stong women in my life time to allow messages like this get to me. I just ignore. But Anyone sending me this rubbish is looking for my trouble.


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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
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great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

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him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
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