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He's The Boss... (& Other Things).





OTHER THINGS: 

There's much more to anyone's life than what they post on social media. For instance when I posted that I'm broke a few days ago... About an hour ago I offered to buy someone lunch and she said "but you're broke, i should be the one buying you lunch". It made me realize that sometimes people seem to think this is all there is. But it's not, besides being broke is temporal ooo. That I'm broke doesn't mean I'm poor. I have plenty debtors, owing clients and some investments, I just didn't have access to any of my money at that point in time. Oh, btw shout out to that (silent) blog reader who said "Thelma let me send you money for movies and ice cream", then she went and sent me money that can take me and my extended family members to the movies and Cold Stone. 

Thank you M, I am still so grateful and touched by your generousity. 

My people please help me thank our blog reader who simply identified herself as M. You may not understand my gratitude, but it's rare that someone from the blog sends me a mail saying they'd like to give me something and actually does so, so what she did really touched me. 


He's The Boss:



So I'm not one to "drag" power or anything. Actually although I'm a feminist I'm a strong believer in treating my man like a King, and doing all the things that I know would make him happy, as long as I'm not hurting myself. But err, I'd like to know what you think about being submissive as a girlfriend, not wife o! Girlfriend! So this guy (I'm reluctant to use any labels yet although he's certain we're in a relationship...) he's great and all that, but he is soooooo traditional! So much so that he almost expects us to have a father-daughter relationship. Yes he treats me well, spoils me when he can and is a really great guy. BUT he doesn't want me arguing with him, he wants to call the shots for the both of us and while he's not controlling, he wants to have a say in things like how I dress, what I do to my hair etc. 

I'm not too sure how I feel about this. I really really really like him, I love being spoiled by him, I love that he's very intellectual and knowledgable yet so much fun to be with. But I'm not too sure how I feel about him being "The Boss". 

Should I just relinquish power to him, sit back and enjoy being a "baby girl" or should I fight for my right? 

LOL, what would you do? 

Comments

  1. Depends on the level of power o, just know relinquishing power means you may never getting it back...just saying

    Cece

    ReplyDelete
  2. πŸ˜„ Relinquish power? Are you a hero?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You didn't know? 😯😯😯

      Delete
  3. Hmmm these are all the things i pray for in a man and you're taking it for granted. Life is very unfair

    ReplyDelete
  4. My mum has this belief that whatever you can't take from a man don't ever accept it at any point. That's is from small small it starts. I quite agree with her though. At the end of the day it's still just going to be you and him. So it still all depend on what you can handle. We all have our deal breakers and if Him been boss is one for you. You have to decide and see if it's something that can be worked around. He definitely adores you, so you have to let him see whether by actions or words the you that doesn't exactly like that hierarchy in a relationship. You compromise, he compromise, and both of you are happy for it.

    However it's still your decision to make. Will you be happy for it if this is what you have to compromise on? Most times there our partners would always have a fault we don't like but are you good to go with it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Biko nne what exactly is your 'kweshion hia? Ayam not understanding...😩😞

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hmmm these are all the things i pray for in a man and you're taking it for granted. Life is very unfair

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just tell him period!

    "Bebe I like you, you treat me well and I enjoy being with you but can you let me get my way in some things/areas. Yes I would enjoy and love for you to give your opinion but give me the chance to a final decision. This might mean not taking your opinion... .can you do that or give me that? "


    Talking about things helps a lot.




    Sometime in future I might need the above advice so you'd have to give it back sha......����������





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam Quirky, it's not that serious abeg. Calm down.

      Delete
    2. Lol......Was I too harsh?

      Didn't mean to though,I guess I got carried away πŸ˜†πŸ˜„πŸ˜†

      Delete
  8. My sister, just don't take what u cannot continue to take. That was how I started. Mine is so bad that even wants to b the boss of who I talk to (male and frmale ), where I go how I look, everything, it drives me crazy. Pple don't get, they expect me to be grateful cos he takes care of us and they interprete this controlling behavior as love. Went out yesterday wt friends, and he is still carrying face till now. After 4years of marriage o. I blame myself most times cos just like u, I believe in women's rights but I also believe in treating a man like a king so I was not completely outright. I did not draw the line well, or I should have just jumped and pass, which is what I tell myself most times cos his behavior has swallowed up my love for him. For me, we r in a bad place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow Sk I'm so sorry to hear this. I really wish we have more marriage counselors/therapists because while I cannot claim to know anything about marriage I think good communication from both parties in this case would go a long way. I sincerely hope you both find a way to make things right and get back to a good place.

      Delete
  9. I am a christian, so I believe a woman has to be submissive in a relationship, no doubt because the Bible says so. However, submissive does not = him walking all over you. I believe it is important to establish boundaries in a relationship so he knows you have a say too. Yes, he will call you hot-head, he will call you stubborn, maybe even difficult. but somewhere in his mind, he is happy he is dealing with a woman that knows her worth. Relationships/marriage present an interesting dichotomy - on the one hand, the man should be the head, but on the other hand, the man and the woman are in a partnership. I think it is important to remind men of the latter when they forget.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "he wants to call the shots for the both of us and while he's not controlling, he wants to have a say in things like how I dress, what I do to my hair etc."
    my dear, this is the definition of controlling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with this.

      Best to set boundaries now....if you really like him.

      Know the level of this control before you catch deeper feelings.

      Delete

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