The ninth month of the year 2017. You don't believe it right? I dont too. Just yesterday, i was home with mom praying and blessing the year. I can remember the prayers and we chorused Amen each time. The year 2017 just has three months to vacate for 2018. I know you sit like me sometimes and wonder, how did this happen? What ve I even achieved this year? Ah! Lemme tell you what people I know achieved.
Nkechi got married and even gave me ashebi for free, Nkechi o. Tunde brought a car back for his parents to bless and even bought drinks for the entire street. Do I talk about Pero, that girl wey no sabi anything in school is now a doctor, certificate all the way from Ukraine. How about Chinenye? We all passed out together some months back but she got a job in a big company in Lagos. She said it's 200k job. I don't envy her. I just jealous her every time I see her whatsapp status with captions like "Work flow" "best colleagues ""Yvette got pizza for us all" "end of the month, money rolling in soon". I just blink my eyes a couple of times and continue replying chats. I don't even want to talk about Debby. Immediately after service her parents packaged her to the UK for her masters and I am sure she will get obodo oyibo husband and they will have UK babies. All these people's testimonies don't hurt me, I genuinely rejoice with them.
The one wey dey break my heart is the online job applications I do at least thrice a week, the online screening, the real and fake interviews, the money I waste in these things. How I stay up to charge my phone and mother's laptop, just to check my mailbox and apply in the silence of the night. A silence so deafening when I drift away to think about life on such nights too.
The thought of asking dear mother😍 when she should be receiving. The look😳😩 from fam when asked for funds to learn a skill, the look of your suitors but you've decided to waste your time by yourself😂 .
The wait is frustrating.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy but maybe I didn't know it will make me have moodswings, make me transfer aggression, make me wallow in futile thoughts, make me cry, make me wish I was someone else.
But today like every other Sunday, I dressed up, dolled up, wore my heels and went to church and danced my pains, worries away. I left it at the altar. My moves were like I got a promotion but no one knew my soul was in pains and calling out to Him above. I am still hopeful.
You might just be like me or struggling with one thing or the other. You need to hold on. Not to humans but don't give up on God. Fight your battles with the scriptures. Cry when it seems impossible. Scream if need be. Let it all out but don't let go of God and Hope. I am still going to get my own #200k job, do my own masters when I save up enough, get my own wealthy man, share my expensive asheobi cloth for free, buy cars for my dear mom and buy drinks for the street and 've doctors at my disposal. ✌ and ❤ always.
Contributions from blog readers are always always welcome (firstname.lastname@example.org). I absolutely loved reading this piece from Lala because she has just penned down what many of us are going through or have gone through. I could easily relate to this. I've been here before.
Please share your own stories or experiences with Lala and I and everyone. Comment below or send me a mail, one thing I know is that most times, sharing is a step to healing.