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Mama Lied!









Sorry but it's been so long I tied Gele on my head that I can't stop ogling myself in these pics.

Yesterday mummy and I went for her former boss' 80th birthday party. She used to work for a now defunct insurance company, and left there I think in 2002, not long before the company winded up. So basically many of the guests at yesterday's party hadn't seen each other in well over 10 years. 

My mama don't play so yesterday was something else, first she went to get her hair done, then she went to get her nails fixed, then she came home to get dressed and then she went to have her gele tied and make up did at Iya Anu's shop, and then she donned her big girl gold and off we went for Chief Adetunji's 80th. 

It was like a high school reunion, and I just couldn't stop rolling my eyes at my mother. My mum and I have veeeeeeery different personalities. Mummy is the outgoing flambouyant type who likes to be the centre of attention. She's the type that gets to church 30 minutes late and majestically strolls to the front to be seated close to the altar. She goes to parties and must be seated with or close to the celebrant. I, on the other hand, I always want to shrink into the background. Yesterday wasn't any different. 

So it was fanfare and oooooohs and ahhhhhhhs and hugs and kisses. Then came Aunty Kathy. She's this (still) gorgeous 6ft tall flawlessly light-skinned beauty that's married to one of the then directors of the company. 

She's got four kids, the oldest is 34. And it's me who looked for trouble. 

"Aunty! How is Ama?" 

And off she went. "Ooooh, Ama is fine. You know she's moved back from England now. She's got 3 kids now, two boys and a girl. She's working with (insert huge multinational company) as their head of _______. Chude got a job with an investment firm on Wall Street so he has moved to New York with his wife. They have a daughter. Olanna (who's my agemate and one time bff) no longer works with Shell. She got a better offer with almost 3 times what Shell was paying her and she left them o! She now works else where, you know she just had her second boy.... She lives close to us there in Ikoyi. And David! Hmmm, the baby of the house is no longer a baby o! You know he's married? Hmmm, yes o! In fact his daughter will turn 2 next month, and you know David isn't even 29 yet. He lives in the South, they've moved back from Canada. His wife also works with Ama in (insert huge multinational company). So she's in Lagos but he's in the South. You know he's one of the SAs to the governor of our state? Haaaa, yes o! He is a special Adviser to our governor and in fact he has even formed his own parastatal in the state, so while he gets paid from the governor, he makes most of his money from the parastatal. Hmm, he is so popular in the state, you won't even believe that o si obodo oyibo nata..." She pursed to take a much needed breath

"So how are you guys, your brothers and Ifeoma?" She asked me, but looked at my mother questioningly. 

All I can say is that mama lied πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I mean, it was mild exaggerations and then a few exaggerated exaggerations. Oh, my sister's life and achievements are brag-worthy but maybe the rest of us needed a few embellishments here and there. 

"Nwando, see her here o! She and her boyfriend they have been dating two years now, she is still saying she is married to her work so she cannot find time to plan a wedding (πŸ˜³πŸ‘°πŸ˜“). Hmmm see me o! Please help me talk to her. You know she is a blogger? She writes for Vanguard, and people call her from all over the world to write for them (πŸ‘€πŸ‘€). She is a big time events manager too, I am surprised that you have not heard but I'm sure your children will know if you ask them.. Black Carpets...?"

She turned to me. "Black Carpet Events" I said looking at my laps

"Ehen!" she continued "They are the ones that handle society weddings these days. Even her law practice is still going fine, you know she is the one that helped me take that my former landlady to court? Anyway I'm sure she and the young man will soon pick a date, we will send you the invitation" mummy finished and aunty Kathy smiled. 

Mama lied!

But can you blame her? 😭😭😭


.

Comments

  1. Oh my!!!! Lmaooooo. It's the woman who looked for trouble , a simple they are fine would have been fine,she has to reel out their accomplishments.hahaha
    You look good btw T.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahahah mennn what choice does she have, Aunty just went bragging 101 on her OMG. I can't stop laughing.

    Nwando hope they don't read this blog o. J

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy Sunday everyone, Thelma u look beautiful, Lolzzz ur mom is funny, u can't blame her for lying when aunt Kathy was just talking about her children doing well to spite ur mom, she had to react.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thelma!!! You looked gorgeous! Fine gyal
    I almost died laughing at this post. OMG.
    Something tells me aunt Kathy was also lying/exaggerating.
    Chai

    Gift

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lmfao, this is so hilarious, I'm sure the other woman added some jara too, Nigerians eh, I love this country...you look good in those pictures btw.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like your mommy jare.Are you sure she is not Yoruba?You look nice T.... TNHW

    ReplyDelete
  7. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    soon those exaggerations will be truths πŸ™

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½

      Delete
    2. Abi na, I like your mum jare. Some people will think they can coman spoil someone's shine. Kojo mehn.

      Delete
  8. 🀣🀣🀣🀣 Big ups to mumsie. AunTy Kathy with TMI. Simple "how is Ama?" She started jaboing about the whole family..

    ReplyDelete
  9. You look beauuutifulllπŸ‘Œ. I love your mama! HeheheheπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just the type of laughter I needed before going to bed this night... lol.. I no blame her jare.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thelma oooo. πŸ˜ƒ. Dont know what you mean but mama spoke some truths......


    You look like a million dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The woman wanted to make you and your mum feel small...so your mym had to suck it to her. Otan!

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like ur mama. She did well, me I go say all my prayer points der o as achievements.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh my! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ oh mehn big "shalat" to aunty K oh!
    CHINENYENWA.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hehehheheehehehhee....thumbs up to mama Thelma, the woman got what she deserved... BTW, all I see is that lipstick, the shade is damn hot baby..... U look good mam

    ReplyDelete
  16. Omg, never laughed so hard, kikiki, your mum is sharp o

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOOOL raising Beyonce hands for your mum.

    ReplyDelete

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