Ok Monday mornings, I usually like to start on a light happy cheery easy breezy note in hopes that it will set the tune for the rest of the week. Today however, is just not one of those Mondays.
And on this rare occasion I actually will announce that I am broke!
Like, very broke.
I never carry my brokeness like a plaque because I'm often finding ways to get out of it, and even when I don't I could look bouyant even when I've not eaten for days. Lol. But things have just been weird AF in these last few months. Like last night for instance, when I wanted to go to the movies so that at least for two hours I could forget about the worries of being single, lonely and broke, but I couldn't even afford an Uber, much less the movie!
So I sat down on my bed and ate 3 large cucumbers, no not fitfam o! I wanted seafood pasta with white wine but when I opened my fridge and saw only cucumbers I quietly laid them on a tray, poured water into a wine glass, balanced in front of the TV and ate.
Anyhoo, this morning I woke up and opened my mail box hoping to see mails that'd cheer me up. I opened my Thelma Thinks mailbox hoping to find blog reader submissions, Dear Thelma posts or maybe even a "send me your account details mail" (although that never happens 😒). I had about eight mails. Six were from people saying they're from the blog, all SIX were asking me for money or "financial assistance" as they put it.
I'm writing this post so you can read it here, for all and sundry please before you ask me for money, first ask Thelma have you eaten? Do you have money?
Yes, I am and have always been a cheerful giver but when one decides to go into business for oneself, without any assistance from anyone whatsoever, there's almost always a teething period that is often characterized by being flat broke. 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
So I beg of you, please nobody should ask me for money right now. In fact if it's about money then your question should be Thelma can I send you money?
Jeez! My spam box is filled with questionable characters from foreign countries trying to send me $30,000,000 to invest in my country while my real mailbox is filled with people trying to take from the money that I don't even have. 😦
To those who asked me for cash, I've deleted your mails, I'm sorry. I understand that many of you are students and a couple of you said you need to finish up your projects. Honestly, if I could I would help, now isn't just a good time for me. I sincerely apologize 💔
And now, back to the grind. May our grinds pay off this week. Can I hear an Amen?!