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After a One-Night Stand My Life Completely Changed For Good - Mrs K





My story may sound like a fairy tale fantasy but it is my story and I'm sharing it because I'm a living proof that conventional standards are a lie sometimes. Warning: I'm not writing so that girls can become lose and unvirtuous. Today I am a Christian who loves God, but I haven't always been one. I met my husband when I was unemployed and working in my aunty's beer parlour in Yaba. My Aunty was not paying me because I lived in her house so she felt I was the one who owed her a favour. He came in with about five friends, they just came into the country and stopped there to eat isi ewu nkwobi etc. I remember that I was wearing bathroom slippers, my hair was not made nor did I have any makeup. In fact I'm sure I was even smelling because in those days poverty was my second name and deodorant was a luxury. I overheard him telling his friend that one girl that was meant to meet him in the bar and follow him to the hotel just text him that she cannot make it. I decided to shoot my shot (in Thelma's voice) so when he was going to the toilet I followed him and told him that I will go with him. It's not my proudest moment but if you have ever experienced hunger and poverty, you are the first born with six younger siblings that you are expected to take care of even though you don't have a job, then you may understand. 

He looked me up and down and he looked irritated but when he was leaving and he did not see a better option he signaled for me to follow him. As of then I was about 24 and waiting for youth service, he is older than me by 17 years. I was only meant to spend one night and collect my money in the morning but I ended up spending a whole week in that hotel. 

Let me just tell you, after that week I never went back to work for my aunty, after that week in fact my life has forever changed completely. On the third day I was there he opened his mouth to tell me he loves me. I laughed it off, I did not care, all I was interested in was the money I came to collect and free air condition. But guess what, this man really loved me. That week he took me shopping for not only deodorants but perfumes that cost tens of thousands of Naira that I had never before used in my life. He took me to make my hair, he bought me new clothes. That same month he got me my international passport. He paid off all the gbese my parents incurred when sending me to law school. My siblings school fees he later took care of them one after the other and did so for years until I found my footing in my career. 

Less than two months after we met he had flown me to Dubai. Thelma in fact where have I not gone, Dubai became like backyard to me. UK, US, South Africa, France, Spain, Morocco, Abu Dhabi, Oman, Germany, Singapore, I can go on and on ooooh.

Today we are blessed with 2 boys and a girl, my children all under 10 are also very well travelled and go to the best schools. I am able to give them the kind of life I never even imagined could be real when I was a child. My marriage is still sweet but it is not perfect doe. We have our issues, we have our fights and our own storms which God has helped us to weather. Him being much older than me also helps because most times he is extremely patient with me and it is not easy because I am a very stubborn person, which Is both good and bad. 

I'm in my mid 30s now and I have an LLM from a foreign universityand I own my own law firm with six lawyers working under me, I believe I'm becoming someone to reckon with in the legal sector in Nigeria, in fact I'm sure that some of your practicing blog readers may know me. I also have a side hustle which brings in 7 figures every year. It pays more than law but I am passionate about law and I am going to be a SAN one day, that is my goal and I have given myself a timeline for this. The truth is that even if my husband leaves me today I can never be broke.  

He later told me that the next morning he had planned to pay me and never see me again but that I asked him one question that tripped him. I cannot even remember the question and he refused to tell me. He said he was very impressed by my intelligence and boldness and he decided to ask me to stay for another day, and then another and another. Also, as we proceeded and he saw that I was very intelligent and passionate, I'm also very hardworking he decided that he cannot let me go because he noticed that I will be an asset to him. It was the year after we met that we married.

I often wonder at how God transformed my life from a dirty poverty stricken girl who wanted to sell her body to an older married man (I thought he was married when I left the bar with him, it was much later that he told him that he was divorced from his previous wife, a Caucasian woman). Even when he married me I thought that God will curse me not to be able to have children for him too, because of my sins but 3 months later I was pregnant and 6 months after that I was flown to America for the first time to have our first child. 

My marriage is beautiful, my husband may be older but he is youthful and even more successful in business. Our lovemaking is still fire and our children are healthy and brilliant. Because of me my younger ones have a much better life and are doing very well. I still cannot understand why God singled me out to bless me this way. Sometimes I still feel like I'm dreaming and I will wake up and find myself in my aunty's shop wearing dunlop slippers and second-hand dress. 


Ps, sorry if I didn't write well. I am not a writer, just want to share my own experience like other blog readers. 


______________

Oh wow! Thanks a lot for writing Mrs K. My own testimony is that after 4 years of running this blog and BEGGING people to send me their stories and other submissions, my blog readers are finally responding. Halleluyah!!!

More please ๐Ÿ˜ƒ






.

Comments

  1. Wow wow wow..... God works in mysterious ways, his mysteries,we can't still dig deep into..... All I pray for is, among those he chooses to bless, he should choose me Biko.. Mrs K, continue to wax stronger.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! I kept waiting for the part that would say its a dream but apparently, this did happen to someone. Mrs K, you really are favored, this doesn't happen to people.

    Thank God your family is fine and your marriage is doing well. You really did turn your life around. I hope your SAN dream comes true.


    Sunshine..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This story reminds me of the movie "One night with the King"

      God continue to bless your home

      Delete
  3. This is really amazing.....as in jaw-dropping amazing. Truly shows the love God has for mankind, especially those He calls His own. More power to your elbows Mrs K. May God continually bless you and yours, and may you never forget to extend a helping hand to others. Chrisyinks

    PS: It's a great feeling, this blog is gradually growing to become a family, one not necessarily connected by blood, but by something greater - our humanity, imperfections, struggles, hopes, aspirations, values, and of course, Thelma.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I absolutely Love your Gratitude Mrs K.
    May You continue to drown in happiness Ma'am.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This story is the kind of dream many young girls sleeping with older men desire to have but you are amongst the 0.1% lucky ones that ended with a good testimony

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, however we overlook the part that the night was supposed to be a one-time transaction between two consenting parties, except that, in the morning, she asked the right question, displayed intelligence, confidence, passion and other desirable characteristics.......what more does a man want in a woman?

      While I am not condoning sexual indiscretion, she still knew her worth and could hold her own. I reckon many promiscuous young ladies don't have such outlook, rather they hold a far-reaching fantasy that their bodies guarantees them a right to the good things in life. Chrisyinks

      Delete
    2. You're spot on Chris. It was basically that question that changed everything, and then the next few days she spent there he realized that she just wasn't any random girl. Honestly this chic, Mrs K is something else and from what I know about her, it's her husband that's actually the lucky one. My point is, if you think that you're going to be a slouch and just snag any wealthy man, it may not work for you o. Please have something that you're bringing to the table besides the vjayjay, every female has one!

      Delete
  6. Lmao @ Thelma.

    Wow!!! I can imagine. Sometimes there are those kinds of events that happen to us that seems unbelievable. The lord continually bless your marriage Mrs. K.


    Waiting for that blessing that would seem unbelievable.��������

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh wow. Simply amazing... Stuff dreams are made of 100%

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just another reminder that God can bless anyone from the unlikeliest of circumstances.

    keneh

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow! God indeed works in mysterious ways. Who would have thought something good would come out of this? And to think u were in the shop attending to customers the very day he came in. Sometimes i really wonder about our experiences in life and i think, if some of them hadn't happened we may not have been whr we are at the moment. Mrs K, nice one coming from u, may ur marriage continue to shine

    ReplyDelete
  10. "...I'm not writing so that girls can become lose and unvirtuous...".

    I like that you made that a point Mrs. K., good one.

    This story is amazing. I love such happy "grass to grace" stories. GOD bless you and your home ๐Ÿ˜Š

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yoo.. I hate to have to be the one to do this but uhmm.. We're happy for the way she transformed her life but
    those of us bringing God to This, please explain.
    God is not responsible for every success story...her saviour in this case was the promiscuous man.

    Isn't this synonymous with getting money from a shady deal and laundering it. What is the moral of this story.

    This sounds harsh but lets have an open and honest conversation about this if you disagree.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m with you a 100% sir.
      Thanks for sharing as I would have just kept my opinion to myself so I won’t be branded a hater. But seeing someone that shares same opinion made me come out of the closet ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Delete
    2. You reckon that one must earn 'God-given' success......a belief I feel that's not true and one in which Jesus did so much to correct. He welcomes us to understand that it is by His grace - freely given. We all have sinned and many of us have our shortcomings, but still, that doesn't mean we are ineligible or shouldn't aspire or shouldn't be deserving of the finer things in life.

      Their meeting point/take off point for their relationship might not have been most ideal, but I believe that one of the marvels of Christianity is how God takes the bruised and undeserving, and yet qualifies such person. Though some may argue that sexual sin is a different category of sin, it is just one of the many sins out there........and, God is still in the business of forgiving sins (God knows I need His forgiveness for my many sins too).......and not just forgiving sins, but making a jewel out of the once forgotten sinner. Chrisyinks

      Delete
    3. I absolutely agree with you.
      I'm glad it turned out for the best.

      Gift

      Delete
    4. I'm happy for the fact that she said she's now a christian, and I am happy that she is happy.

      Not to take away from this testimony at all, and I would have preferred not to write this in this post, but I am also interested in opinions and counter-opinions to the issue you have raised, Punintended. There are many success stories that have questionable foundations, but now that everything is bright and shiny, we smile and say "All's well that ends well.".. it's synonymous to that post Thelma put up a few years ago of a Uni student in his 3rd or final year, who had found Christ, and was quitting Uni to start afresh because he had entered with fraudulent WAEC/JAMB results, and most people thought he had a lose bolt in his head. But did he, really? Or the people who do shady business deals to make it big, and afterwards, conveniently repent while “enjoying” the proceeds of their questionable activities. How much of this success should be attributed to God, and how much of it is really success. I have always wondered at secular musicians with unGodly lyrics and videos. When they find Christ and start making gospel music, are they truly repentant if they continue to receive royalties from their secular music? Is that really true repentance? I am not judging anyone here; I just feel these conversations need to be had more often so people can understand the breadth of the decisions they make.

      Mrs K, I am truly happy for you, and there is no judgement here. In the early days of Jesus’ ministry, He spoke freely to the Samaritan woman who had had 5 husbands, and was with a 6th man. God used the harlot Rahab to give the children of Israel victory. He can use anyone.

      Delete
    5. @Chrisyinks

      I didn't say or imply that one must earn God-given success. You're inadvertently implying that I don't think she deserves success, no. You missed the point.

      I just need you to explain to me how 'success' derived directly from a sinful act should be attributed to God. Also, refer to Ada-ugo's comment cos she articulated it way better than me.

      Delete
    6. @ Punintended

      How do you reckon her 'success' was derived directly from a sinful act? She had clearly expatiated that hubby didn't stick with her just because of the transactional sex of the night (a point I had clarified in one of my earlier comments) but for her intelligence, passion, confidence etc.....

      As an analogy, take for example, a scenario in which a lady who is barren or a guy who is impotent lies upon meeting a partner and based on that lie, a marriage is contracted. During the course of the marriage, a miracle happens and conception and babies come along the way. Would you ascribe the birth of any offspring to God or man or some external factor given that one party lied about his/her medical status?

      I reckon you could expand my example to a common scenario such as cheating on an exam, nothing too big, perhaps just asking a friend for the answer to a question, and using the grades/certificate from passing such exams to get a job that later provides fulfillment and a measure of success.

      In summary, what I am trying to say is that if you have to crucify her action of sexual indiscretion, then you should be willing to crucify any other (successful) person who ascribes their success to God and has engaged in pre-marital/post-marital sex with any person regardless of whether they married a third-party. At no point when the one-night stand was contracted was there an assurance that she'd become his wife or her fortunes would change for the better.

      People make mistakes, I just don't think a mistake should be the defining point on whether one can lay claim to God as one's source or not - a perception I reckon Jesus did much to correct. A good biblical example is David/Saul's story.
      Chrisyinks

      PS: @ Thelma, perhaps you should fashion a post out of @Ada_Ugo's and @Punintended's comment. I opine the house could greatly benefit from it.

      Delete
    7. Interesting conversation going on here...

      *Grabs a beer*

      Delete
    8. Chrisyinks

      Your first analogy doesn't apply to this case..and your conclusion too; you seem to have pre-conditioned your mind to believing that I dont think a sinner deserves success from God or something.

      Your second analogy was better and I honestly don't have the answers to all your questions. However, let's think of it, if someone gives a testimony in church and says "I could've failed JAMB but I cheated and passed. Now I've gotten admission, thank God", how would you feel about that testimony if you happen to be in church that day. What would be the moral of that story. That's exactly how this case is.

      Now, I'm not God and I can't tell you how God judges people but what would be the moral of that story.
      Even though she was gracious enough to give that warning in the beginning saying she isn't encouraging girls to sleep around, it felt like people who say "I dont mean to be rude" and then they proceed to insult you. Because inherent in the story, is an encouragement to runs girls to continue till they find that man who'l love them for their "intelligence".

      Delete
    9. @ Punintended

      Perhaps I'm still unclear about your stance, but for the sake of this discourse, let's discount my first analogy and work with the more relevant second analogy.

      I don't think anyone is totally qualified for whatever measure of success they acquire here on earth. The Bible makes it clear that its not by our works, but by grace. That even our best shot at righteous living only ends up as filthy rags before God. And in our weakness, His strength is made whole.

      I guess I just feel odd that we may want to ascribe Mrs K's career success: running a business, a legal outfit; birthing and nurturing their children etc to a mere mortal. And no, it's not because that her story turned out positive that I feel its convenient to ascribe it to God but because I understand that 'God is always for us against sin'. The example of Paul the apostle who crucified Christians comes to mind. Isn't it interesting (Ironic) that one who was a staunch sinner and despite the long list of sins, could be used to work against that same sin. Or to draw up the story of King David/Saul. Saul led a majorly right life before God but yet was disgraced out of the throne. David sinned, and yet God was more than merciful on his case. See, we often look on outward appearances and actions to judge people (I echo the famous phrase: we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions), but God sees the heart. It's a tricky thing to really gauge the heart of anyone. And sometimes one's current actions might be necessitated by one's subjective gauge of the expediency of one's current circumstance (case in point: Mrs K one night's stand) .While our past may be stained, God uses those 'unappealing' scenarios to work the best out for us. Remember His foolishness is far greater than man's wisdom.

      To your question, I'd feel slighted that someone thinks he can outsmart God. The argument I make is that Mrs K, didn't get into the one-night stand to outsmart God or out of a heart set out to leverage such night as a sustainable way to live her life. Chrisyinks

      (PS: Apologies for any typos or lack of coherence, but I hope I have been able to elaborate on my point of view).

      Delete
    10. We're gonna have to agree to disagree bro.
      The exam cheater didn't plan to outsmart God, he acted out of desperation just like the lady.

      We'll keep going in circles, lets just agree to disagree.

      Delete
    11. Yes I guess we would do just that.

      While I agree that some (the) exam cheaters don't plan to outsmart God, making a proud testimony out of a sin says so much about one's perspective and heart towards such act (sin).

      We are humans and bound to err but an heart that respects God and His ways would always find some way to go back to Him. David, who I'd reference for context, was a clear example of that. With many (abominable) sins, He still found someway to get back to God. Isn't it interesting that Jesus Himself (in all His holiness) owes His incarnation in human form to David's extramarital affair to Bathsheba. David, ( as a form of restitution for his sin), didn't have to kill the offspring who ended becoming the wisest King in Israel, and Jesus Himself came into this world through that lineage.

      While restitution (a form of penance for one's sin) is a difficult thing to measure. @ Ada_ugo's comment, would starting over one's university education based on honestly obtained admission credentials as against one that such person had fraudulently obtained be enough penance? How about the would-be-student that was possibly denied admission since the sinner who had cheated to gain certificates to initially gain a spot in the university had secured the spot instead. How much compensation should be extended to the would-be-student?

      See, it is very difficult to say what's sufficient penance for one's sins and whether one can claim one's subsequent success to Christ's saving grace, but I reckon an heart that has sorrow for one's past sins and now embraces Christian ways is enough basis to enjoy the pleasures and blessings of being in Christ. This I reckon is the major difference between David and Saul. David was always sorrowful for his many sins when he realized his 'evil' actions and sought to make amends first with God. Saul justified his 'evil' actions. Germane to this argument, Mrs K has already acknowledged her not-so-right ways and even encourages ladies not to tow paths that are not beneficial, and yet still, encourages us to choose God's path in our lives. What more do we want from her?

      Let's not stand as pharisees who think we know God's laws better. We are all flawed in more ways than we may be willing to accept. And I don't believe we should denounce our past, let's embrace it (with its flaws), and tell our stories to others to serve as encouragement for them - interestingly, God prefers to work with our broken self and transform that broken self to something beautiful indeed. I am often cautious of those who are successful today and whose histories seem to be all perfect. I reckon either they aren't telling the whole truth, or they are garnishing some areas. Even our best shot at living right still falls below God's mark. I reckon God's threshold for those who seek Him is a heart that is broken and willing to make amends - not past righteousness. And much more, when we turn our challenges to God, He works in unusual ways to use the seemingly despicable past in our lives to work out for our own good. Chrisyinks.

      PS: Apologies for the long post.

      Delete
  12. I remember the wordings of one of our hymnals: "when you think He (God) is angry with you, He is actually glad".

    This is one reason I try to refrain from judging people's actions too quickly.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  13. Our ways are not His way. Unfathomable.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My goodness. God blesses us in ways we cant imagine. This is more or less like the story of Esther/Hadassah in the bible.

    I am so proud that you took the step to better yourself despite the comfort.
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.

    may our lives fall into pleasant places. May our destiny helpers locate us all. We could all use it. I know I could.

    Yayya Thelma let me tell you a story, then you write it๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜

    ReplyDelete
  15. Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts in real life.

    BLUE BUBBLE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chrisyinks

      Your first analogy doesn't apply to this case..and your conclusion too; you seem to have pre-conditioned your mind to believing that I dont think a sinner deserves success from God or something.

      Your second analogy was better and I honestly don't have the answers to all your questions. However, let's think of it, if someone gives a testimony in church and says "I could've failed JAMB but I cheated and passed. Now I've gotten admission, thank God", how would you feel about that testimony if you happened to be in church that day.

      Now, I'm not God and I can't tell you how God judges people but what would be the moral of that story.

      Even though she was gracious enough to give that warning in the beginning saying she isn't encouraging girls to sleep around, it felt like people who say "I dont mean to be rude" and then they proceed to insult you. Because inherent in the story, is an encouragement to runs girls to continue till they find that man who'll love them for their "intelligence".

      Delete
  16. Wow! Not everyone gets this lucky from so risky a venture.

    ReplyDelete

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