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But I Live On The Island

Last night a small group of friends had a birthday party at the bar. This guy kept coming to the counter where I was working, to ask redundant questions. The fourth time he came he finally decided to go for it. Our conversation went like this:

"Can I have your number so that I can call you later?"

"I'm sorry... Nope!"


"Because I don't want to" 

"But I live on the island" he said this with his shoulders raised so high, nearly touching his ears  

I stared at him to know if he was sh*tting me. He wasn't. 

"I live on the island" he said again, just in case I didn't hear it the first time

"Okay... Can't give you my number though"

"Why? I live on the island", his shoulders had drooped a little 


"So can I have your business card?" 

"If I can't give you my number why would I give you my business card?"

"But I live on the island" he was whining this time. 

"So what if you live on the island?" I honestly needed to know

"Err, I'm not all these small small mainland boys that comes to this place, is only just that I have to come for this party otherwise I don't enter mainland because I lives on the island, unless only for if I'm going airport". His English was so delightful. LOL. 

"So if I give you my number you will take me out on the island?"

"Yes na. Elegushi, Quilox, have you gone to Banana island?"

I shook my head no and he laughed loud. "You see na, I will give you island paroles" he was handing his phone to me to punch in my digits. 

"So on the island, where do you live?" 

His shoulders where reaching his ears again "Lekki!", he was so loud, everybody could hear him

"Are you serious 😦. Wawu! What part?"

"Is this new estate, only for bigger people. Ibeju Lekki, I.L for short". 

I laughed and laughed and laughed. 

And laughed. 

Laugh wanted to kill me. Niggers be living in Ogun state and telling girls "I live on the Island". πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

But seriously though, does anyone still get impressed by those words? πŸ‘€


Meanwhile my Dear Thelma folder is empty o! Y'all need to start mailing your relationship problems to me so that we can unravel it together on the blog. Or better yet, if you want to tell the world just how amazing your relationship is, share with us. In fact, at this point I'll ask you to share anything. Is just dat my blog readers don't like to send submissions unless there's a giveaway attached to it and that sucks 😞. Y'all need to stop that! 


  1. Hahahahhahauuauuua the guy is so funny ...not his fault though, I guess a whole lot of girls have fallen for those lines. Who island epp?????? Ermmmmm you people should send submissions now and don't wait til something is attached... Haba..lolπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

  2. Hmm. You even managed a conversation with the homo habilis. Wonders shall never end, me I'm lazy to type but I will send in a submission this week definitely.

  3. Hahahahahahahaahah, this one killed me. Some guys and entitlement attitude, na wa! You live on the island so wot?? Well, i'm glad i'm able to identify with the blog once again, tho i comment once in a while. Since Ruthy is out of the closet, i'm fully back too, lol. Welcome gurl, i missed u more
    Lemme introduce myself, i'm Tochi from Owerri and based in Imo. Thelma, there was a time u put me thru wen i was growing my makeup biz and we talked about Milani, lol. Been a while tho.
    Hope i get an e-bear hug and welcome parriiiii

  4. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    This struggle to be an "IL bigger people" is on another ridiculous level. A moment of silence for Mainland small boys like me 😞

  5. Looool.
    You gotta keep people like this around. They somehow end up being good friends. And the provide comedy.


  6. Hahahahahahaha. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Oh Lord.

  7. I thought this "I live on the island" matter was long forgotten. I don't even know how I'd react if this kind of individual crosses my path. My low tolerance for "Iranu" ehn

  8. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ the sarcasm.

    After laughing, I tried to touch my ears with my shouldersπŸ˜‚

  9. Thelma I lauged too o,the guy is too funny abeg.
    Will send you something soon though.

  10. hahahahahaaaaaa....When 'living on the Island' is the only achievement you have in your entire life......hahahahahahahahaaaa


    1. Hello F.. nice to meet you😁😁

      Was it a mistake you commented with your google ID?


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