Skip to main content

SOUL MATES......A CRUEL JOKE by Anonymous.

Reading this post put my heart in knots and twists, because it used to be my greatest fear, and I'm so certain that many can relate. Please read below:

I used to have serious beef in my heart for couples that say, I married my soul mate. I never believed in soul mates, I just thought it was too much love worrying people, until i met the YING to my YANG and i missed him by a hairs breath and got married to another person.

I have a wonderful marriage, we may not have hot passion, but we love each other like comfortable old PJ's and we protect each other. People think my marriage is perfect, but the truth is, i sometimes wonder what could have been.

Stay with me people, this gist is loaded.

I was called to Bar in November 2009, My mum took me out the Sunday after , for a celebratory lunch. I was already engaged. Marriage is in January 2010.

This guy comes in and smiles at us, we smile back. He is nice looking and looks like a tall glass of coke. He sees us leaving, he rushes out, like he is leaving too, my mum's driver has not come back from an errand. He was supposed to go pick up stuff for mummy and come back for us.

He offers to drop us off, our house is not too far. My Mum smiles and we enter the car.

We just have a general discussion, he is funny.......And he laughed from deep within his stomach, I also noticed that he would close his eyes when he laughed,  i thought that was the cutest thing ever.

He collects my mum's number" He wants to be able to call her and greet her once in a while".

Two weeks before my wedding, my spirit was so restless,  I was too afraid to ask my Mama, if he called. I tell my Fiancé that i want us to shift the wedding........The guy almost died. Everyone called me and asked what the problem was?, I said nothing. I recanted and we got married in January.

I became depressed, because i did not live my life,  i just did what was expected of me. I had a long distant marriage; i was not willing to relocate yet, till i got another job.

I travel to America in February 2010, and my mum just jokingly says, Luke (Not real Name) called, he asked after you. I did ask my mum if she told him, i was married, she says no. She tells him when i am coming back and he begs to pick me up at the airport. I don't know what my mum was thinking, she allows him.

He picks me up. I am not wearing my wedding band because, i am depressed, struggling with the idea that i am married. We go to Sheraton, Ikeja and hang out by the pool. We talk from 4pm to 10pm. He felt like a long lost friend. I did not want this emotional cheating to end, so i don't talk about my marital status. Luke strikes me as a very intelligent guy, nothing trips me better that a smart bloke. He is one of the best in his field in Nigeria. I do not know this then.

Apparently this guy is very intuitive, he gets me.......and i get where he is coming from too. He asks "where have you been all my life"........I melt foolishly. He has to travel to Malaysia for work, He is gone for two weeks, we talk everyday......He has been married before,  he has a six year old daughter. He tells me things that are really personal and i open up to him too.

He comes back from Malaysia, i pick him  from the airport and we go back to faithful old Sheraton, We hang out by the pool till 12 midnight, He then says "Lets  get married the weekend after Easter......Something in me dies and i knew i had to tell him that i was married. He is devastated, he said he called my mum just once and he was too shy to collect my number, he always felt he would see me again. He tried to stalk me on Facebook, but yours truly was not on Facebook. I broke down and started to cry......I felt so so empty. We share a kiss and i drive home. I was heart broken, i felt i had lost something that was never really mine. This was a weird situation, I knew that i would never have married a divorcé with a child in a million years, but with Luke, it did not seem like a big deal. I was in love with this gorgeous man who is not my husband.

I called my best friend and i tell her everything, she tells me i am a fool, that Luke is a play boy and a mirage. She was afraid for me, that i would have sex with Luke and i would never be able to forgive myself. She kept reminding me, of how calm, stable and decent my hubby is. I told her i liked being foolish.  I have always been the good girl, the good example in my family, but i have never felt so alive as i did with Luke. We never got under the sheets but i so wanted him. He was fire, and i was ready to burn with him.

 Luke and I thought about eloping to London. My Husband felt i was emotionally distant, he came to Lagos and he thought i was unhappy because i did not want to relocate, he offered to relocate to Lagos to make me happy, he said " I am the luckiest guy in the world because you are my wife".  I felt so  bad and remembered all the vows of marriage. That's when i had a brain reset. I could never embarrass my family like that,  My husband did not also deserve to be treated like that. I knew i was in love with this Luke and i guess he felt the same way, I was on the pathway to adultery, but it felt so good and so right but we had to stop!.  Luke is a devout Catholic, he goes for Mass every day, He had told me he confessed to his Priest and he was told that another man's wife is the road to hell!. We ended every form of communication, i deleted all his numbers. Fortunately,  I got the job in my Hubby’s place of abode and i relocated to be with my hubby in October..

So my hubby and i have settled into our marriage, We have children and we are happy. I still think of Luke fondly, He is married now and also very successful. He calls me in a blue moon and we catch up.  Luke tells me that i am one regret that he has. He felt he should have stepped up and asked my mum for my number, when we met in November 2010. I laugh and i tell him that there is a reason for everything. I am where God wants me to be, besides my family is everything to me and i will never play with fire again.

Soul mates are never convenient. The Stars will never align for you. You literally have to fight for that love. Recently, a dear friend, who is from Enugu State, called me and said, she met this awesome fella from Kogi State, Igbira to be precise. They met in their Masters Class in the UK.  I see them and i know that they are meant to be together, but Catholic Enugu and Muslim Igbira will NEVER work. She will never go against her family. Her Dad is a Knight in the Catholic Church, So there is an unwritten law in her house that she must marry from their faith. I feel for her because i have been there. That's the cruel joke of soul mates. You will never find your soul mate in a convenient setting, they never come gift wrapped, he most likely will never be from your village, or both of you will come from different faith. It is always complicated. Sadly, Love rarely triumphs against family pressure or religion.

Now that i am older and wiser, i do realise that whilst it is a blessing to be with your soul mate.....It is not a guaranteed recipe for a long lasting committed relationship/marriage. Any marriage can happy and satisfying. You just have to put in the work. For those people brave enough to damn everything and be with their soul mates, i envy you.


Written by an anonymous blog reader. Please do send in your submissions. We've all got stories, share yours with us. 



  1. Yo! Who is the blog reader?
    I enjoyed reading this. And it makes perfect sense.
    This soul mate thing ehh...its a pot of beans!
    I always say - That you love somebody or the person is your soul mate does not mean that the person is the best thing for you.

    So yall were just at Sheraton and never got a room to do the do?! Hmm...strange...


    1. 1. Send your own so that others can read and enjoy too.
      2. Yes they went to Sheraton and just had drinks. Not everyone is like you Kon 😂😝🏃🏃

  2. Oh wow wow. I can't even talk because I know exactly how you feel but in my own case I acted on my emotions. But I was relieved when he got into a serious relation because my guilt was killing me. We are still friends but no more sex and no more weekend getaways. I'm still in love with him but I don't want to gamble with my marriage. If we get caught my husband will never forgive me but I'm sure his wife will take him back. It's not worth it.

    1. " If we get caught my husband will never forgive me but I'm sure his wife will take him back. It's not worth it."

      Sound reasoning.


  3. Beautiful writeup ..... Excellent conclusion. Chrisyinks

  4. I feel like the soul mate thing is a trap. It's never straight forward, you throw caution to wind and act on your emotions and you could get burnt. The odds are always against you.Love is a paradox

    And I agree it has nothing to do with a successful/peaceful marriage.

  5. I don't believe in this soul mate stuff sha. Even when you find your soul mate, i'm sure if you keep looking you will end up finding another soul mate. The real thing for me is finding that one person you love and commiting to that person.

  6. I don't believe in this soul mate stuff sha. Even when you find your soul mate, i'm sure if you keep looking you will end up finding another soul mate. The real thing for me is finding that one person you love and commiting to that person.

  7. I also doubt this soul-mate belief. When you guys stay long enough, you will realize certain factors would make the chemistry become watery and the love would wane. Except a marriage is irredeemably broken, there is absolutely no reason one (male or female) should leave room for another relationship regardless of who is involved.


  8. I absolutely enjoyed reading this.
    I just truly wish life was quite simple. Maybe if everyone married their soulmate, U know, the person that give U the whole damn zoo, then there might be less cases of infidelity & divorce.

  9. Beautiful write up! Dunno about soul mate sha, but I know about great buddies


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa