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THE TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF A NAIVE YOUNG LADY by Bee.






It all started in early 2014 when I lost my dad who was the breadwinner, he wasn't so wealthy but I had the basic stuff a girl should have plus I didn't lack anything so you can imagine how I had to adjust to the fact that its just me now to cater for myself as my mum wasn't working then. I and my siblings were his number one priority and I was about 20 then. I never thought of shouldering responsibilities at that age as I'm the first child out of 3. I was in a relationship, we started dating when I was 16 and he was my first boyfriend. I had no proper orientation about a relationship as I just wanted to join the bandwagon of having a bf then. I wasn't feeling it the way I should (he hit in my 1st year in school), also I was choked in the relationship (always in the room after lectures and no freedom). We were in school together and he was my level mate. I didn't leave then because I felt he was my ideal man excluding his anger issues (gullible me).

I should have left when he hit me the first time but I stayed back because I felt he was a complete gentlemen considering the fact that I NEVER HAD SEX WITH Him. No, i'm not a saint or a team no sex before marriage, I was just scared of unwanted pregnancy coupled with the fact that i lost interest in the relationship at a point. He is quite egotistic in nature, we never went out throughout our six years of relationship. To say my relationship was boring is an understatement. We'd only go out on our birthdays and I knew the normal ritual was going to a bar when we were in school.

We both live in Lagos but we never went out.  There was a time I told him to let's at least go to the beach, since we don't have to pay there. He told me we can't go because he doesn't have a car. We didn't go simply because other people were gonna come with cars. He practically turned me into an recluse because I never went out, we were always inside the room all day.

It got to a point that he became an internet fraudster because his friends were into it, I was totally against it but he felt that when he made money from it I was going to succumb, but it only made me more distant front the relationship.

I met a man last year through my aunt when she went abroad, he was like her Hubby's family friend and he saw my picture and begged my aunt to introduce him to me as he was in his late 30s. After narrating his ordeal to my aunt about women he's met, he told my aunt that he wants to get married and I wasn't going to be just for fun. My aunt introduced us to each other and he got talking.

He came to Nigeria after 3 months and I went to see him, we  later kissed and he wanted to do the do. I declined, and he forcefully had sex with me and told me to my face that I wasn't a Virgin because he didn't see blood on the bedspread. Naive me dipped my hand into my p and showed him, and he outsmarted me telling me it was because he forcefully had his way cos the V*** is a muscle and it contracts that's the reason for the little blood he saw, I never knew people now see a pool of blood when they get deflowered. Naive me almost believed him oooo.
   
This man is actually a doctor and I almost believed him for a second that I began to question my being a virgin, I had to ask my mum if I was defiled when I was younger. Gullible me didn't know its not everyone that sees a lot a blood.

I told my bf everything, but he didn't believe that i was forced but I wasn't surprised as he always doubts me. I honestly wanted bf to be my first as he had really tried to be a gentleman apart from hitting me, he was a sweet soul. I take the blame for everything because if I wasn't playing games I wouldn't have gotten into wrong hands. Gullible me thought he was going to be my passport to getting a good life for me and my family, but I was wrong. And that was how I lost my six years old relationship to a man that didn't deserve me.

After that act, this guy disappeared back into thin air. I didn't hear from him again. I felt so used, I had insomnia for months because I couldn't believe it. Tried to forget him, it wasn't easy but I scaled through. Went for Nysc last year and totally forgot about him.

Later on the man resurfaced and didn't let me be, he kept  chatting me up, I didn't block him because I wanted to play the mind game by allowing him see how well I'm doing. Plus I was stupidly attached to him, maybe because he was my first (I don't know).

What broke the camels back was when he started chatting with my sister (he got her num when we were still talking last year). He started telling her all sorts like, he would take care of her, give her anything she needs, blabla. He told my sister that I was a nobody to him and so useless to him. But blood is thicker than water as my sis gave him his own dose. I felt pained and I practically cried all day I reported him to my Aunt and she said I should insult him very well with my kid sis (she felt bad about the incident, regretted it and was pained because she explained to the man that I wasn't just any kind of girl and that he shouldn't mess me, he assured her he really liked me).The mistake my aunt made was telling him I was a Virgin, just to make him realise he wasn't dealing with just any girl. 

My sis and I insulted this man to our satisfaction and he did the same. But he said something to me that "I'm poverty stricken and what will happen to me after Nysc, that I would start looking for job cos I'm a nobody". Thelma I  couldn't sleep that night, I spoke to God in a way I've never spoken to him before and told him to surprise me and bless with a good job before I finish service early next month.

Grace spoke for me and guess what I was called to come and collect my APPOINTMENT LETTER just two days after the incident in one of the stockbroking firm in Nigeria. My joy knew no bounds, I had been very scared of unemployment as I actually didn't know anyone except God. I was happier because He turned my life around and made me a Testifier, He disgraced him just to prove to the wicked man that He is still on the throne.

I resumed at my new job last week Monday. I'm not in any relationship yet as I'm so scared of falling into wrong hands but you see I'm happy I can now take care of my mum and younger ones.

Hope I didn't bore you all with my lengthy epistle?  Thank you T for this platform to pour my mind out.

Comments

  1. Sorry to hear about your experience. And I apologize on behalf of that man. He is a fool.

    It will be difficult but try your best to ensure that nothing from your past affects your present or future. You have gained some wisdom from your experience, apply that wisdom and live life to the fullest. Let go of the pain and fear, they will only limit you.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for writing Bee. My joy is that your post ended on a positive note. However I'm not happy with your aunty. She introduced you to a man who raped you, abused you both physically and pychologically and then to add insult to injury, went after your own sister and tried it with her too, yet the best she could do was to ask you to abuse him very well? I'm just hoping your story is incomplete 😟

    ReplyDelete
  3. People go through shit in life though. So So Sorry Bee.
    I'm glad you're better.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank goodness you're better and triumphant. Always rely on close friends and kin when difficulties come by (and they always do). Life is a learning process; when you fall pick yourself up, lean on someone if you have to, and keep moving.

    Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow! Hugs girl.
    Look into the mirror and see yourself for the QUEEN that you are.
    Believe that any man would be lucky to have you.

    Congratulations on your new job.

    Gift

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad to know your story (this part of the story) has a good end. For a moment, I was thinking if there was ever going to be a pleasant end. It's amazing how God steps in and does the miraculous when conventional logic tends to say otherwise. Sorry about your ordeal with the failed relationship and rape.

    Here's wishing you the best of relationships and also a far much better ending to your story(life). God brought you the job and may He guide you through your career to even greater heights. Warmest regards to your family. Chrisyinks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank God you are in a better place Dear Bee.

    ReplyDelete
  8. sorry for the pain and heart ache. You are a pot of gold
    .Keep rising.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, thank God you're in a better place now.
    Hold your head up high and keep looking forward, hold on to God and life will only get better.
    You're a star, don't ever forget that.

    Sunshine..

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank heavens your story ended well. My prayer for you is you get the highest fulfilment in your job and you grow to love yourself and overcome your past.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank God you are in a better place.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow! Why is the rapist not in jail. Oh, no proof. Vengeance is of a God and he will reap his reward bountifully.
    Good thing you are soldiering on, please let the experience not steal your joy as you still have battles ahead. God be with you

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awwwww sorry about your pains dear. Thank God your story ended well. I just hate the fact he cant be punished for what he did. Things like this makes me wonder if karma truly exist.

    ReplyDelete

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