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To Shoot My Shot or Not? (Thelma Is In Love!)

So we met and finally got talking, well just this one day when we chatted and chatted for hours and it was the most delightful thing ever, I swear it's been long since I felt this way about anyone. Something like a crush but deeper, you know that feeling when you guys talk for the first time and you totally vibe πŸ™ˆπŸ˜πŸ’‘. The conversation is fire πŸ”₯, the gist just floooooooooooooows. Like, you throw punchlines at him and he throws it right back at you with a double knockout and you guys chat like you've known each other forever. So that night it got really late and we had to go to bed but next day came and I couldn't wait to hear from him. 

I've been here before but it's been so long; you know, that feeling of always looking down at your phone, checking if it's them calling, you get a message and you jump because you're hoping they're the one, and when you see it's not them your heart sinks to your belly.

You see, we'd promised we would chat yesterday because he wanted me to give him feedback on something, so I kept waiting for his call/message. And when I didn't hear from him I wanted to send a message, but I didn't. 

I hate this part right here. The games. The mind games. Waiting for them to make the first move. Not wanting the balance of power to tip in his favour because he'll have the upper hand if he knows you like him. Like him-like him. And we can't have that now can, we? We don't want that setting the tone for the rest of the relationship (if there'll be one) .

So I've been struggling, should I be direct, be what some may consider aggressive? I ask because some guys, including guys on this blog, have told me that they're attracted to agressive women, women who are direct and bold and let you know exactly what they want and go after what they want. But I'm also worried that one man's idea of "aggressive" could be another man's idea of desperate! 😞

But I think that one thing we can all agree on is that if a guy wants you he'll do the work, yes?

So anyways what do you think about this? Should I "shoot my shot"; be direct and intentional about this or should I wait, watch and see??? 



  1. i say wait.
    i know the urge/eagerness to call is so palpable it can be touched... but restrain yourself.
    a man who is worth it will do the work.

  2. For me, i'm a direct person. After a few date and I see we get along really well, I ask what's going on...It hurts thof that sometimes I have pictures on my head already nd all I hear is we are just friends

  3. Why not contact him and restrict it to that thing he's expecting feedback on?


    1. @F, nice to have you back.


      Personally, I respect people who keep to their words and I feel this is a worthy ideal to live one's life by. Beyond the butterfly feelings (which is okay at this introductory stage), there's the part of getting to know each other and to determine compatibility.....I guess what I'm saying is that you should let this evolve organically, and don't act solely on feelings. Chrisyinks

    2. Thirded.

      Just call or do him an sms restricting the conversation to what he is expecting a feedback on.


  4. I vote wait too. But if you don't hear from him till say 4-5pm you can send a message.
    I once did the waiting thing with I guy i really liked who i eventually married, I don't know if he too intentionally was waiting but all i know is i waited and he finally called around midday. The first thing he asked me was if i was OK, I said yeah. He didn't even mention or ask why I hadn't checked or why he hadn't checked on me all day so we both pretended like no biggy and carried on per usual. Thinking about it now, I guess he too was waiting to see who will call first. Lols

  5. I 'll say if you miss talking to him so much, babe pick up your phone and do the needful. Except you have being the one to always initiate a call,chat or text message then I'll say wait this time.
    I am of the opinion that if you miss someone so much,reach out. It will do your heart more good than it will hurt your fingers.

  6. Thelma ooo...
    First time commenter...
    Biko go direct.

    1. Heyyyy Ceiling! πŸ’ƒ How you doing? Please keep commenting ❤️❤️❤️

  7. Madam. Call the nigga!
    Its 2017, if you want something, go get it. Life has generally gotten more aggressive. Dont slack.


    1. Honestly I don't understand Thelma. Call someone, ya asking about Shot and Shooting. Women are just unnecessarily complicated. 😣

  8. I have a limited experience, but I'll vote call him. I'm not one to call, but if I miss someone I'm definitely reaching out by text or something

  9. Don't call him, if he said he would give you feedback on something, wait for him to give u feedback, if he doesn't it's a red flag, as minute as it seem his word should be his bond, if he doesn't call or text you, goodbye to him, he's probably not the one as much as you feel like he is

    1. Na wa oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, see conclusuion.
      Madam take it easy on the man na, at least give him some benefit of doubt.We don't even know if he is okay.Thelma please call him to check on him at least.

    2. @omolola u sound like u have never bin in a relationship before.. If that's ur conclusion, u will end up saying goodbye to all ur potential bfs. Thelma pls don't take that advice o...

  10. Call to check up just because he said he would but didn't. It could be out of concern to be sure he's alright. I'm the type that would never text first. Even in my present relationship. However, the few times my bf hasn't texted within the usual time he normally would, something major seems to be the reason. So please check on him to know if he's ok

  11. Call him doesnt put you at a disadvantage... unless there are other things you may have left out.

    Infact tell him you just had to know he is still breathing, seeing you haven't heard from him all day.

    His reaction should tell you what is going on in his head.

    You could send an sms..... honestly lets not complicate the simple things.


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