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About Last Night (1). Jumping Into Conclusions

I'd been at my boyfriend's house for some days (yes, boyfriend. If I come next week and I don't have a boyfruend again, don't ask me questions. If I come next week and I have another boyfriend, don't ask me questions. If I come next week and I have two boyfriends or more, don't ask me questions. In fact the only time you get to ask questions is if I tell you "I was with my husband last week but my other husband showed up yesterday"...

So anyways I'd been in Jay's house for a couple of days and I was settling in really nicely, funny how he doesn't live too far from my house but my household has been annoying me of late and I'd taken a like to Jay's house and we were settling into a really nice cozy routine. 

Before he came back from work yesterday I'd cleaned the house really nicely, went to the market for some food stuff, came back and made a very nice meal and kept some fufu heated in the cooler.

The minute I heard his car pull up out front I jumped and did a little jig. Daddy's home!

In my mind we would eat and watch TV and have some wine and go out for a ride or stay in in bed and gist or something nice. 

Man proposes...

From the moment he stepped outside the car and saw me first thing he said was 

"Kai I'm tired. You can't believe that I have to start preparing for another presentation tomorrow now now". 

I was disappointed, we ate in near silence, he was talking but the only sentences I heard were

"I have to leave home at 4.30 tomorrow morning"

"I need to go and work on my presentation"

"I don't think I'll even come back home tomorrow, I may need to work overnight"

"Have you spoken to anyone at home?"

"Don't you think you should sort things out at home?"

"I can't believe I need to leave at 4.30 tomorrow"

"Eeya, I will really miss you when you leave"

"Kai, and I'm working overnight tomorrow"

"I'm so tired, I think I should go to bed soon"

In my head all I heard was 

"I want my space"

"I want my space"

"I want my space"

"I want my space"

"I want my space"

Before he said another sentence I went into the bedroom and started packing my things, went into the guest room and packed the rest of my stuff.  

I came out dressed, with my bags in my hands and my hair combed out. 

"Where are you going?", he nearly leapt off the sofa

"I need to go home" I said. "Get me out of here" I barked at him when he was about to ask another silly question. 

He immediately pulled his pants on and grabbed the car keys. We drove in silence for the first few minutes. 

"Why did you just decide to leave all of a sudden?" 


"Why? Did something happen at home? Did you get a call? I thought...."

"Look, if you wanted me to leave you could have just come out and said it!"

"Huh? How? What do you mean?"

"Since you entered the house you couldn't stop telling me how you have to leave at 4.30 in the morning, you said that more than 60 times. You said you won't sleep here tomorrow night, you said that like ten times, as in, just in case I was planning to spend another night I should just know it's not gna happen. You said you were going straight to bed. You kept on saying you were going to bed. It wasn't even up to 8pm and you kept on saying you're going to bed. Just so that I can pack my bag and coman be going, abi? In what universe have you ever gone to bed at 8? In all the years I have known you you have never gone to bed before 11! Suddenly now at 7.30 you are going to bed!"

This negro had his mouth hanging wide open. He quietly slowed down the car and turned off the engine right there in the middle of Lekki/Ajah express. 

"Are you insane! What are you doing", images of heavy duties trailers ramming us from behind and sending me straight to the afterlife flashed through my head. 

"Nwando, what are you talking about? I never asked you to leave! I didn't want you to leave! I even thought you were going to spend the weekend with me. I thought you'd be here till Monday at the very least" he said calmly. 

"Please move this car off the road", I begged. "Take me home"

He turned the ignition on but cleared the car to the side of the road and parked it again. 

"Seriously, what are you on about? I wasn't trying to make you leave? How! I want you to stay... In fact when we were eating wasn't I just telling you how happy I am that you're around? How I sometimes find it hard to stay more than a day or two with most people but with you I don't even want you to go anywhere, I don't even notice time fly?"

Oops! He did say that though...

"Yes you did, but it was only another hint to let me know that I had to leave!"

"Jesus! How? Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? How much I respect you? How much I like having you around?"

I pouted my lips petulantly and said nothing. 

"Look, I was only telling you how my day went like I always do. I tell you everything that happens at work, don't I ? I was only telling you I need to leave home at 4.30 so that when I wake up at 4 to take my bath you wouldn't think I'm disturbing you. I only told you I may not sleep at home tomorrow night because I don't want to suddenly spring it up on you tomorrow if I have to work through the night... I know how it must have all sounded but I swear, I wasn't trying to make you leave. 

Do you know how I even see you? You think say I dey carry you play? Oh my God! I can't even believe you would think like this"

I was scrolling through Instagram.  

"Can I turn back and go back home? Please? Come back, I'm turning the car back o!" He said, switching on the ignition 

"Look, please take me home" I said calmly. "I have a house, take me there. You will never insult me like I don't have a house" 

"Jesu!" He put the car back in park and started explaining himself again. A few minutes later we were back on the road, heading to my house. 

"Please let's go back to my place, please? Remember I even said that when I come back on Saturday we will go somewhere for the weekend? Or didn't I say that? Didn't I say we could go to La Campaign or Epe Resort for the weekend?"

Oops again. He actually did. 

"Goodnight dear" I said and went on home. 

He called me some 15 minutes later to say he was home but he would still like to come back and pick me up. I said no. He said he was sorry about everything and I got him all wrong. I said it didn't matter anymore. 

In truth, after hearing his side I realized that I just got into my feelings and jumped into conclusions and started tripping and then I freaked out. 

I'm not usually like this but, I guess it happens. 

Can you relate? If you can say Hey and tell me about it. 

If you can't, please go away, I do not like you. 


Ps... Yes I finally admitted that I jumped into conclusions and overreacted. But here's why? Most times we project ourselves on others. I personally don't like people in my space for long periods of time. If you're in my house for one night I want you out the next day. If I love you there's no way I can ask you to leave outright, instead I'd start dropping hints, or come up with a story of how I need to go somewhere so you've gotta go... I guess that's why I thought that was what he was doing... You're free to share your own guilty habits too! 


  1. O yea?? He sure did sound like he wanted you to leave though, he might not mean it but...

    1. Nne to me too o! But whether he did or he didn't, like he still insisted some five minutes ago (I'm with him right now), I'm glad I left. It's always best to leave the stage while the applause is still loud.

  2. Hahaha! I can't relate to this particular scenario seeing as there's no boyfriend to jump to any sort of conclusions but I can have whole conversations with real life people inside my head and make decisions for them inside my head and act based on those decisions.. I know this doesn't make any sense so I'll explain..

    Take for example, I have a male friend who I'm very cool with and I just might like a little too much. If tomorrow I see him with this lovely looking lady, I will have a conversation in my head convincing myself that the pretty lady I saw him with is his girlfriend or at least he likes her very very much and as such, I have to keep my distance so I wouldn't ruin his chances of getting with the girl. Finish! Next time I see him, I'll be really distant and stuff and will stop talking to him at all eventually.

    This is probably crazier than your own

    I know, I have issues..

    1. I totally understand. They say "before you jump into conclusions, ASK.". Let's give that a shot from now πŸ˜‰. In retrospect I think I should have just calmly asked him if he needed some space to rest and get ready for work, that would have made a lot more sense. Of course when you ask there's also the chance of being lied to 😭😭😭, but still.... 😊

  3. Girl! Dont be deceived. The nigga wanted you out.

    I give him 80% for sounding like he really wanted you there. Guys do this all the time. Some other chic probably has confirmed appointment for this weekend and the nigga cant let the one-chance pass. And Im sure he slept in his house the next night. Abi?


    1. Kon Kon Kon... He actually went to work last night though, I know because he stopped to see me on his way (see my comment at 10.21) and we had video calls while he was at the office so, I have no reason to doubt him. As for if he wanted me out that night, I still think he did but truth is I've got reason to believe he didn't #nobeeverythingpersondeywriteforblog πŸ˜…. Either way, I'm happy I went home because
      1. Leave before the applause ends
      2. How else would I have met Nigeria's Idris Elba? πŸ˜‚ (@ the next post)

    2. πŸ˜‚ I didn’t even know what to comment on that Idris Elba post so I just stared at the picture for a really long time and went to watch videos of him on YouTube with that delicious British accent😍😍😍

      Don’t judge meπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

    3. Hehehheeh Thelma the babe... Issorite

  4. I too think he wanted space. Maybe because you asked to leave angrily that's why he denied. Just maybe
    As I was reading down, I kept praying you didn't agree to go back with him.

  5. Me, I was already jumping to conclusions as I was reading before I even got to the part of you picking up your things to leave.
    I jump into conclusions all the time too, all the freaking time. Smh
    It's not healthy at all I tell you. That been said, I still can't shake off the feeling that bros wanted his space but opted to use 'diplomatic language' to break it to you

  6. But I don't think he wanted you out though. He's how I like it...tell me everything 10 years before! And at least he still mentioned he liked having you, plans for the weekend, how tired he was biko Man was tired and didn't like the way tomorrow would work.
    Mine would have been getting angry because "why does work have to take you out so much and leave me here, please find a way around it (while keeping a normal face and frowning at the same time.)" I might even do I'm going home stunt, but it'd be because "why do you have to go for so long morning and night! Haba!"

  7. Naaaa.... I can't relate as the reverse is my own case. I think I've been on the receiving ends of assumptions and conclusions the moment I progressed from baby babbles to sentences. I make it a point to ask and be exactly sure of what is what.
    I won't ask about any change of boyfriends o...only that you continue to share as much as you're comfortable with sharing. Hopefully all would be comfy?😁
    Lemme go and discover AND possibly drool over the 'Elba'

  8. Lol!! Thelma its like you know what's going on in my life. I just got off the phone with my bf not too long ago and I tried playing a prank on him, but he didn't fall for it cos he knew I was joking but it kinda pissed me off that he wasn't taking me serious(don't judge me please) and then he had his friends over, they were playing soccer on his Xbox, having drinks and listening to music(your basic boys night out) but along the line while talking to him on phone, he started singing along to the music in his house and gisting mildly with the boys. I immediately asked him if I should call back and while he was trying to answer, one of the guys said something and he told me to hold on so he'll answer the guy, but I just cut the call immediately. Nigga didnt call back!!!
    So after a while of reasoning, unreasoning, concluding and unconcluding with myself and how he should have just left the sitting room to somewhere quiet for the few minutes we'll be on the phone, I finally calmed down and called him back so we'll say our prayers before sleeping and he didn't pick up. I'm just here laughing at myself.
    Anyway I totally get your concern about the incident. Its perfectly normal to feel that way. And I think it was better you left not necessarily because of the "leave the stage while the applause is still loud" thingy, but because with all the things he said he had to do, there's every probability that if you stayed in the house, he may not have had time for you, not as much as you want him to and you may end up feeling "neglected". I don't know if you get what I mean? Sorry for the long epistle.

  9. You shouldn't have gone to stay with your boyfriend in the first place. If he lived with his parents would you have stayed as well.... you're a Christian so live like one. Don't copy the ways of the world whose girls sleep in their guys houses. Carry yourself different.

  10. This is the reason I left my ex. On my case, I left at dawn. He woke and kept asking why I was leaving so early but I ignored him and left knowing that was the end.

    1. In my case* silly phone.

  11. You are on your own on this one.. ...lmao

    Na better high Jump you do. Chai!! !!


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