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Dear Thelma (She Took My Name To a Prophetess!)

Hello thelma and TTB Fam. Here is my own submission, your opinions are humbly welcome. I was going through my girl's phone yesterday, we both have our passwords and she's free to go through mine too. I don't mind her having male friends or even chatting with guys that like her as long as she knows when and where to draw the line. But yesterday I got the shocker of my life, I saw a chat with someone whom she saved as Alhaja, in the chat she sent the woman my full names, my profession, my age and 2 of my pictures. The woman said call my phone tomorrow so you can tell me what you want and I will tell you what to bring.
    I confronted her and told her that man is done but she has been crying since saying that she only wanted them to pray and see if we are compatible bla bla. Please bear in mind that we are both Christians, Anglicans to be specific and "Alhaja" is obviously a muslim person. First off I'm just 26 and not planning to marry anytime soon. Babe is 23. We have dated for about 9 months I'm very much in love with her no doubt, but we have never even discussed getting married because I told her I don't  intend to settle down until after 30. Now I'm really concerned for myself, I don't think I can continue the relationship but she is a good girl, very homely and wife material. She has always treated me very well, even when I cannot take care of her like other Lagos big boys that tries to tempt her with cash and promise of dubai or jand travel, she still remains faithful to me and manage the little I can do for her without much complaint. She has very good character which I love but after yesterday's revelation I don't just feel safe anymore and I want to break up. Do you think I'm being too harsh with my decision? 


  1. Are you shagging babe?If you are,you have kinda given her assurance that you are marrying her.I suggest you let babe go because if at 23 she is giving ALHAJA your details,what happens when you decide not to marry her.TNHW

  2. So asides the prophetess issue, you are 26, she is wifey material. And all going well, you would like to marry her. But you can't marry till after 30? So in a nutshell, you want to keep her on the shelf for at least the next 4 years?
    Do her a favour and break up with her.

  3. The girls seems to want more from this relationship and you are 5 years away from any commitment. Just end the misery now.

  4. I find it really difficult advising unmarried CHRISTIAN couples who live together. Y'all need to live apart and try as much as possible to stop having sex. It's a terrible sin, and you can't be doing that and praying. It's insulting to GOD.

    That aside, if going to Alhaja is the ONLY reason for you to break up with her, then you don't deserve her. She made a mistake (according to how you view it), a mistake that is of little consequence, and you're all of a sudden scared for your life? Lol.

    Stop overreacting, she's sorry. Take her back but live separately. GOD bless.

    1. I had to go back to read the post at least twice again to see how you arrived at their living together and sleeping with each other. That's a lot of Sherlock Holmes skills.

      But I totally agree with you about Christian singles living together before marriage.

    2. lol @ terrible sin.

  5. Kinda difficult to give an opinion on your next move seeing as she acted out of her definition of 'love'. This reminds me of the bias when we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions.

    Whichever way, your major issue here should be her faith and in whom exactly she places her trust? The story is told of a Pastor who when driving and almost colliding with an oncoming vehicle, blurted out 'Sango ohh' and the church member in the passenger side of the vehicle couldn't help but wonder who exactly the Pastor worshiped, but I digress.

    I opine you've got a keeper. Passing along your details to Alhaja is just a symptom of where her true faith lies in - something that can be easily fixed, and one you are in a perfect place to remedy. I guess I just gave my opinion. Wish you both the very best. Chrisyinks

  6. Dude. You dont want to mess with a diabolical babe.

    You are only 26 abi? Abeg dump her ass, you will meet other babes. Dump her but do it gently, because she fit go jazz you finish dey use remote control you.
    I know families that have been destroyed because of diabolical stuff. So mehn...shine your eyes. She is a good girl but jazz is nothing to play with.


    1. Seconded. The advice given to others should always be what is also applicable to us, no need to feign righteous indignation at certain parts of the story. This is REALISTIC.

  7. Lol. You don't want to marry till after 30... does she know that?? Odikwa risky behavior. What is wrong with us in this country sef. Our own good judgment is no longer enough we have to involve Alhaja. Mtcheew.
    I don't think you should break up with her just like that sha. If you trust her to tell you the truth sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she did it, ask her about her marriage concerns, ask her if she really loves you or just want to get married. But that's if she's an honest person sha

  8. people really need to be careful who they are getting advice from...who could have introduced a 23yr old to Alhaja to get what is wrong with people, where una de rush go biko

  9. Well breaking up with her isn't harsh, it is a justifiable decision.

    However before you make your decision, I think you should try to know both her and her parents stance on diabolical stuff and all those seer stuffs, it helps you to determine if this is a one-off thing.

    Also, it is best you ask yourself if you are willing to work things out, can you still trust her, will you still be comfortable around her. These are some of the things i think you need to ask before you make a decision.

    We are all human, we make mistakes. What matters most is that we try not to repeat our mistakes.

    P.S: it is likely she was trying to know if you guys were a good match before giving you 4years of her life. What she did is still wrong though, but think your decisions through

    Another girl.

  10. I'd break up with you if I was her! Not ready to get married till after 30? Which by the way can mean anytime from 31 to 50! Clearly you both are on different missions with different expectations. I don't like spiritual 'enquiries' of any kind. Be it from Alphas, dibias or pastors. All the same to me! And I don't believe all that "to find out if you're compatible story either". These people are always up to something extra and sometimes without the permission of their 'clients', which I'm not entirely convinced is the case of your babe (the permission I mean).
    Bottom line, you both need to break up with each other! You can make up later when you're both ready or just move on to other people that fit more.

  11. If it goes diabolical i'm out.J


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