I know I've been really shitty at blogging but trust me I have good
excuses reasons. Wait people, it just occurred to me that if I get pregnant now I can have an almost 8 year old by the time I'm 40!!!
I want my kids and I want them now! why should I have to wait for a husband?
Those were the words of my cousin about a year ago when she deliberately got pregnant for a guy she was having a casual relationship with. We celebrated baby's 1st birthday last weekend, it was a very big party. Both the father's family and friends and the mother's were fully present. My cousin is 36 and wasn't keen on waiting for Mr Right to suddenly appear and swoop her away so she went and did what she needed to, to get what she wanted...
But many people still frown at this, despite the woman's age or needs. For instance many people gave Yvonne Nelson serious flack for having a baby without being married, oh let's forget that other drama surrounding her pregnancy for a moment...
When a woman is in her 30s, especially if she's in her mid to late 30s, would you advise her to start having babies or wait on God till she finds (or is found 😒) by a husband?
I know these 2 friends, both in their mid forties, both unmarried, both successful career women. About 3 years ago one of them realizing that time's no longer on her side went and got pregnant by an ex boyfriend. This year, she decided to get pregnant for him again (yes it was largely frowned upon by all of us but she insisted that she wants 2 kids and then she's done). Now this friend has settled into her new home and new life as a mother. She's able to provide for her babies, she goes on dates when she wants without the nail-biting tension of "he is going to marry me?", because she's already adequately fulfilled. She's open to still getting married, if God dims if fit to bless her with a husband, but if that doesn't happen then she's very fine with her job, business and two children.
Her friend on the other hand has been under pressure by her family and friends to have a baby, just like her friend. They have pleaded with her that it would be for her own good, especially now that she's still got sometime before menopause hits. But she has staunchly refused, she insists that she won't have a baby until she gets married. So year in year out we pray that she will get married and have her kids, so far there's yet to be a single man in sight. She still insists that he will come, and until then, no baby!
I admire her faith but I worry because I've got aunties and family friends in their 50s and 60s still single, and their one regret is that they didn't have kids when they could, because they kept on waiting and believing that he would come. Unfortunately, most adoption agencies are very reluctant to allow single women adopt kids, so for these women, life can get really lonely.
Anyways, would you advise a loved one who's still single to go and "just have a baby"? If yes, at what age would the person get to when you'd give this advise? If it seems like they're advancing in age and there are no marriage propects would you advise a woman (who can afford to look after a child) to have one, or encourage her to wait until marriage?
Curious about your thoughts. Please share.
Ps. This post is for those who want to have children, not every woman does.