Skip to main content

The One Night Stand of a Neglected Married Woman.

had a one night stand. As I type this I cannot even believe it happened to me. I feel like I was outside of my body and watched someone else who looks exactly like me perform this act. 
I’m writing this so that your numerous readers can realize it can happen to anyone. The Bible says that “he that thinks he stands should take heed lest he fall”. I expect to be judged and insulted. That’s fine, but I also know someone will learn from this.
My background: I’m not an average looking woman, I’m a full fledged good looking woman. I’m quite modest too as I don’t need to do too much to bring out the slay queen in me. I knew how powerful my body is, I know how I can make men’s knees buckle by basically doing nothing. However, I made a decision to be a virgin till I got married. My husband is my one and only ever encounter with the opposite sex….Well, I guess I meant “was” my one and only ….until the one night stand.
 We got married when I was 24, he was 32. 8 years older than me, he’d been there, done that but was a good man and ready to settle when I met him. He was completely respectful of me and he did ask for sex while we were dating but after hearing me out several times , he decided to wait with me. We got married 18 months after we met. 
Our marriage is wonderful and blessed with 3 lovely children.  2 girls and a boy. We are also doing very well at our careers and life couldn’t really be better. 
Sometime in the 12th year of our marriage things started going downhill. I will summarize that we took each other for granted. This was compounded by my husband’s job taking him all over the world. And I was exhausted all the time from joggling my 10 hrs job with caring for the children alone. Whenever he returned home from his journey, I was resentful and agitated all the time. Sometime that year  I tried to log in to his Facebook account few days into his last trip and he had changed the password. Wow! When did we start changing “our passwords”. When did we start “following” all these scantily clad girls on Instagram. Too many questions to answer. I must say he made it worse by brushing off all my doubts and questions without addressing them. He said repeatedly “I would never cheat on you”, but he was being sneaky. 
Our sex lives took a hit of all these. I’ve always been more sexual than him, 3 out of 5 episodes is initiated by me. And my husband always teased me about “trying to make up for the lost years”. During the lowest point of our marriage, I even went as far as googling and reading up on sexting and attempting phone sex with him when he was away. My husband brushed me off most times during the horniest days of my cycle whenever “konji’ hit me while he was away. This was getting frustrating.  I worked out more, took care of myself more, prayed harder, attended many women conferences. I just had to do my best to be happy for my sake and the children’s 
One day, I was getting coffee and reading a good book during my “me time”. Kids were in school and I needed to maximize my time off before the chaos begins after school. I look up from my book to find this guy staring at me intently.  He walks over and tells me how beautiful I look and how he didn’t mean to be disrepectful but he just couldn’t but make these compliments. I smiled and said thank you and returned to my book. He asked if he may join me and I obliged. What’s the hurt? He can visibly see my huge wedding ring and my no-nonsense resting bitch face. He should be ready to deal with the consequences of whatever I say to him at this time. We had small talk, nothing personal. We exchanged numbers, I thought nothing of it. He left after about 30 mins and I resumed my daily activities.
My husband makes another trip. I bump into this guy again during my grocery shopping. He had said he lived about 10 miles away from us, so  how come he’s here? We say a quick hi and his hands brushed my forearm somehow. I had goose pimples.  No!!!! I’m married for Christ’s sake. Why am I having rumbling in my tummy. This second meeting was a really brief one and we had said our goodbyes before we knew it. It turns out I don’t even remember his name. I had saved it as coffee guy on my phone. 
Here’s where the down fall began. I just couldn’t stop thinking about my reaction to his touch. When hubby called that night, I started to tell him about this guy I met and how random it was to meet the same person again.. We even joked about hubby being the one that hired “coffee guy” to follow me around. Just after hubby goes off the phone, “coffee guy” calls. I’m indecisive about picking up the call or not. I do anyway. He asks what I’m doing? I say I’m in bed getting ready to sleep. He asks if I would like to make out with him. Ha!!!!! Just like that? I cut off the phone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but think about how different it would be to have another man, what do other penises look like? Will he last longer than my husband? Will he perform oral sex on me? I find myself musing and fantasizing about this all night. My husband and I hadn’t had sex for 4 months. Why am I so turned on? I remind myself hubby will soon be back and my urges will be calmed, if not satisfied.
Coffee guy” calls me again the next morning, I say it’s not a good time. I’m at work. But I added “the baby sitter is picking up the kids today, maybe we can have a drink tonight”. I don’t drink at all by the way. I should have nipped this in the bud from the first day. We met after work at the bar of a posh restaurant, we didn’t talk much. He didn’t even finish his glass of wine. The sexual tension was palpable. He asked if I would like to go “someplace”, I couldn’t believe the word “Yes” came from my lips. Apparently he had booked a hotel room. As soon as we entered his room, he started kissing my neck , I was vibrating so bad , foolishly telling him I’ve never done this before, he asks if he should stop but he’s not really stopping…. and the rest is history……We both came. Intensely and multiple times.
And he wanted a second round but I was back into myself at this time and weeping silently. He asked if I was alright, if he did something wrong. I told him I’m an adult and wasn’t forced into this. I wipe my tears as I’m dressing up I sight my ring on my finger. How do I undo this? What have I done? I just had a one night stand. He used protection, but how do I fix this? I tell him as I’m leaving “you will never hear from me again”. I don’t even know his real name. I block his number  then deleted it. We didn’t know each other enough to have been on each others social media. My curiosity has been satisfied. My husband is better than me in many ways. Maybe he cheated on me too, maybe he did not. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. I feel like a slut. I feel so dirty, I almost scrub myself to bleed when I get home. 
I haven’t been able to forget this experience. I hold the guilt in the vault of my heart. I cried night after night rolling on the floor asking the third party in our tri-fold cord to have mercy on me. It took me days to forgive myself. To make it worse, my husband’s libido went over the roof after he returned. The first few months were terrible for me, I couldn’t get that picture of me and coffee guy and our one night stand off my mind even while with my husband….
It’s 6 years since my one night stand. I didn’t tell my husband. I don’t plan to. I flee from appearances of evil like my life depends on it. I’ve forgiven myself finally . Our marriage got better. I worked on my reactions to my husband’s imperfections. I’m very open to him about my desires emotionally and physically, about everything…except this one thing.
If I decide to spill about a one night stand I truly regret, How will that one event erase the 16 years of memories they have of their mother being a good woman. I’m a role model to many of my daughters’ friends, and teenage group in church. 
This one secret will follow me to my grave….
 Culled  One Night Stand: Diary of A Neglected Married Woman: Written by Mrs H. For 
So I often wonder about women that have been with only one man. Do they often get tempted to experience sexual intimacy with someone else? Just to know what it feels like, to have something to compare it with, to experience something different? Or are many of them satisfied with what they have...



  1. "...I flee from appearances of evil like my life depends on it. I’ve forgiven myself finally . Our marriage got better...".

    This is the best part of the Post. Flee from evil, forgive yourself, work on being better. ✌

  2. This thing called marriage though! Very serious something. Thelma I don't really think its only virgins that may or may not have the urge to sleep with other guys. Our body has a different mind of its own when it comes to things like sex(that's how I read about a man that divorced his wife because she was moaning while she was been raped). At the end of the day nobody is above mistakes, whether married or not. The problem is what you do after you've made the mistake and in this case she was immediately remorseful and did her best to make up for it. Like Memphis reiterated; flee from evil, forgive yourself and work on being better.

  3. For someone that has been with only one man, I think the temptation is less for virgins. Reason being that you cannot really miss what you never had. ..esp if the person decided to be a virgin pre-marriage for moral reasons and not due to lack of opportunities.
    As long as the sex I have with my husband is satisfying... It has never crossed my mind to cheat. I don't have any ex to compare the sex with.

    I think there's much more to marriage than sex jare. My hubby is an extremely wonderful husband and father. He loves me and puts me and the kids first... That to me is much more important than all the orgasms in the world.
    Who sex epp.

    1. Hmm... I think it's different strokes for different folks. I'm not a virgin, although I'm celibate now. My boyfriend is essentially my first and only sex experience, yet I almost broke up with him about a year ago because I kept wondering about other guys. Thankfully I'm too bothered about a guy cheating on me to go ahead and cheat on a guy.
      I think what I'm saying is that even if you were a virgin before you got married, you would still have expectations... Every movie these days is infused with sex, every novel... Even if you don't indulge in these things, you mind will still build up expectations for you. One of my prayers to God is to have an amazing sex life when I'm married. Of course my mind has translated amazing to a certain sort of way and it expects to get that lol...
      The woman did well by fleeing...
      Maybe I'm naive, but I think it would have been nice to open up to the husband.. This world is very small, if the husband finds out somehow from someone else he will feel betrayed.

    2. @ Iyanu

      Effortlessly dishing the espistles ehn? Well said. Chrisyinks

    3. @ iyanu. I'm the poster you replied.
      I totally understand you...let me explain better.

      Of course good sex is very important in a marriage... But I've come to realize that contrary to what we read in romance novels, sex needs to be worked at.
      Of course at the beginning because I was a virgin, I had to learn what my body wanted and needed...and I can boldly say that after 5 yrs of marriage, our sex life has gotten better. The most important thing is having a partner who wants to pleasure you as much as you do him. And I strongly believe women should stop faking orgasms.. If it wasn't good say so so he can do better next time.

      You can have an awful relationship with great sex.... I think the courtship period should be geared towards ensuring compatibility and assessing the character of your spouse.

    4. Hey baby iyanu, you couldn't have said it any better... Nice one

  4. It was the voice. It had to be the voice. A deep voice and deep sunk eyes wld do any woman (men like Chris Hemsworth - my MCE)

    1. You cray i swear!!! It has to be the voice..TNHW

    2. The voice??? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  5. Hmnnnn..... I’m happy you have forgiven yourself and you’ve learnt from it... that’s very important.

    One thing I have learnt is never say never and let he that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

    Someone told me 2 stories about 2 different women and I looked at him boldly and said I would never do that to anyone. After he left, I thought about it again and asked myself, are you really sure you can never do this if you are faced with the same situation and I went down on my knees and prayed! Asked for Mercy and strength!

    Dear Mrs, you made a mistake. sought God’s Mercy, he has forgiven you and you have forgiven yourself. You’re not a bad woman/role model. You made a mistake!

    You’ll be alright πŸ€—

  6. This was just the devil using your weakness against you. why should the guy suddenly appear when you were honey.sweetheart it happened to me. suddenly a young man finds a married woman with kids attractive. yes dear you are beautiful but do you also realise that there are very very beautiful girls outdere that arent married. tight and fresh. i realised this and stopped myself before it wad too late.

  7. God has forgiven you, you have forgiven yourself. You are fine, your marriage is fine, that's all that matters.

  8. I am happy you are now thriving. Everyone makes mistakes. The ability to learn and rise above them is what counts.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrΓ©e comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrΓ©e is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancΓ©? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa