It's 10:40pm, I'm at Radisson Blu VI Lagos, just rounded off a meeting which lasted for over 4 hours, everyone just left and I decided to come and have a drink by myself at the pool, do a bit of thinking and relax a bit before I go home to continue relaxing.
I forgot my ATM somewhere over the weekend and I'm yet to pick it up and I've got limited cash on me and I just ordered a Long Island and I'm not planning to leave here till about midnight and I'm steady trying to figure out how to sip on one glass of cocktail for an hour because I'm not one who feels comfortable sitting out with nothing in front of me, unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can sip on a glass for one hour, in fact my Long Island is going down in two minutes or less and I'm worried about what I'd do next.
In any case while I'm sitting here I might as well tell you other things that other people can do that Thelma can't.
1. Give a massage. I've watched hours of youtube videos trying to learn but when it comes to the practicals my hands just go limb and I burst into bout after bout of incontrollable giggles. In fact baby boy told me two nights ago that I won't make a good girlfriend for this reason.
2. Dance. But many of you already know this.
3. Give someone the silent treatment. Really wish I could though 😩
4. Listen to raggae music. Tried a thousand times, failed a thousand times.
5. Not be happy for someone else. Like no matter how shit my life is, I literally cannot hate on someone else's success.
6. Fall for, flirt with or even think of being with a friend's man, no matter how perfect I think he might be for me.
7. Lunges. Even when I'm in fitness beast mode. I can lift, plank, squat with weights, do high knees, 500 jumping jacks easy, jump squats, but my legs simply cannot do lunges! All my trainers in all the gyms I've joined have given up on that.
8. Not say my mind when I'm hurt or pissed or angry. I'm one of those people who literally can't bottle things up. I would let you know exactly what you did, why it hurts and how it hurts.
9. Sleep in church. No matter how sleepy or bored I may be, even if I tried.
10. Sip my drink slow. I think that people who can have super powers. I just don't know how people go out and have the same glass of liquor for hours. I think broke people have mastered this art. Guess that means I'm not and cannot be broke. Thank you Jesus 😂.
Haha. I've succeeded in killing time, it's 11:20 right now so I guess I'll head home in a bit. I'm done sharing random things I cannot do that some others can. Add yours!