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Too Scared To Flirt.

"What happened to Trey Songs?" A few of you have asked. 

Well, you know, at the start things were really promising. I totally adored everything about Trey, well I didn't know him that well so it only makes sense that I would adore his exterior; the height, the beard, the voice, the laugh, the shoulders... 

And things were so good, I was even almost willing to give up baby boy for Trey! Almost. 

Barely a week after we met, this one time we were talking and the strangest thing happened. You know, he was all "you're a Queen, you're so beautiful, I swear I want you" and while in the same gear went to "my life sucks, my job sucks, my salary sucks, I'm drowning in debt, I'm not even sure how I'll pay my rent, I wish I had more money" and I swear I was fucking confused. 

Was he confiding in me as a friend or was he telling me as a benefactor?

I chose to go with the former. I empathized with him and said some meaningless niceties like it is well, God will make a way, it will pass, it's only temporary, it's the economy, it's not just you, bla bla. 

Well Trey varnished shortly after and reappeared yesterday and this time he grabbed the bull by the horn. "Hello Thelma, my love, I hope you're good. I need you to help me with some cash. I could pay you back in January, if you insist". 


Actually it's not funny but should I cry?

Just like this other guy I met a few months ago. I think I wrote about him here. Shortly after we met he called me early one morning and was talking fast fast. According to him he was in Abuja and had booked a flight on-hold online and the flight was that morning but for some reason he couldn't pay and he needed to get to Lagos that morning by all means! And it's business class and he needs to tidy up a few other things too so can I help him with 150k and he would return it first thing the next morning. 

I was stunned, I'd met the guy just once and all the other times we spoke it was to tell me how much he liked me amd wanted to "get to know me". Mind you, unlike Trey who's 30 this guy is about 40. 

I told him I was sorry, I didn't have 150k to spare. He said it was okay. But then at 11am he called back to say he still hadn't paid for his flight and if I could help him with 100k. I said no. "Ok, can you spare 50? I would downgrade my ticket to economy", he said. 

I'm sorry, I really don't have!

He said it was okay and hung up. By 6pm he called me to ask me if I could give him 20k. At this point I was irritated. I told him I didn't have. 

He called in another hour to ask if I could spare 10k. Still no. "Even 5k?" he asked. No sir, I no get!

And I marvelled at how he priced it like garri. How did he go from asking me for 150k in the morning to 5k in the evening?

Honestly, if these guys weren't so well packaged, expensive clothes and shoes, expensive car even, and didn't give me the "I like you" speech, I would be more inclined to give. 

I've not even told you guys about that flirt who asked if we could go spend a weekend in Ghana, on me! 😳😳😳 

I dunno, I guess I look really rich. And maybe being single, over 30 and rich equals DESPERATE. Desperate enough to pay for male companionship and affection. 

 Well, this brings me to now. 

About an hour ago I was at the tollgate, driving, music playing, singing at the top of my voice and dancing in my seat like no one else existed, when I felt eyes on me. I turned to my left and saw the cutest guy ever staring at me and smiling. He was so cute I wasn't even sure it was me he was smiling at, I had to look at the car on my right to check. I looked back and he waved. My heart melted. 

But I immediately faced my front, put my shades on and stopped singing. 

Because next week Mr Cute Face Lexus Jeep might send me his account details and ask me to "please do something". 

I'm having drinks at Double 4 and waiting to see a movie #CurrentSituation. I'm looking damn cute, if I say so myself, but with every knowing male gaze that meets my eyes I shrivel up like a prune, I'm too scared to flirt back. Not at all in a hurry for another "I'm sorry I don't have" conversation.  

But really, should this be a deal breaker? A guy you've just met who's expressed (romantic) interest in you, asking you for money or monetary favours? Deal breaker or nah?


  1. They’ve learnt from the ladies. The days of equality have come. If women can do this, why not men. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Good luck to those who do this though. ————-Hope

  2. " I could pay you back in January, if you insist". I don't even understand what this ☝means. Like everybody else have asked, let me ask my own too... Girl where do you meet these dudes seriously? Or maybe its true afterall what they say about lekki guys and packaging.

    1. I wonder o. I'm a guy and it's mind-boggling. I don't understand how these guys come up with the "liver" after all the packaging.


  4. Even if the first time meet isn't based on romantic interest, it's a deal breaker. Some people do this "pricing" for real and it's wrong. Even if you must ask after a 1st meet (which isn't proper) why not ask for something reasonable around what you really need, like you need 10k, so ask for 5k or 20k. That's understandable. Not needing 10k and asking for 200k. Those who do this...I don't know why they don't see anything wrong in it.

  5. Deal breaker for me. I remember this one guy that was always saying how beautiful I am, how he loves me, how this and that, me sef started getting scared at his intensity. Next thing, dude tells me it's his birthday, I say "happy birthday", and that's apparently not enough. He asked me if I haven't seen ladies that buy cars for guys as birthday presents. Lol... at this stage, I wasn't sure if to laugh or cry. Anyway, that was one of our last conversations...
    I had this other guy friend who wasn't sure if he was my friend or trying to toast me. Anyway, I really liked him as a friend, but the day he told me something about needing money for rent, I wished I could unhear what I had just heard. I really wished I could. Cos I knew that was the beginning of the end. And it was.

  6. Deal breaker!!!! Everything breaker!!!!! Jesus please take the wheel and save me from these toxic types.

  7. This made me laugh so hard... I've been in ur shoes up to the point that when my Mr.right showed up, I ran. Thank God he was patient n persistent. I was sooo scared of guys at a point in my life. Nawa! Just b careful biko!

  8. My dear you need to pray seriously against these unserious fellows o. This is bad market. How can someone ask a person he has met just once for money, talk more of someone he intends to toast. Doesn't he have friends to ask from? Odi egwu

  9. Broke but packaged guys plenty for Lagos na.
    Once they perceive you are comfortable financially,they will remember they have problems only your money can solve.

  10. My God, This has happened to me as well
    And in my case, we start of as just friends then the relationship progresses to something more. This 'sonething more' is usually initiated by flirty banter and I fall bam!
    Next thing I know one's asking me for 500,000 naira, that he'll pay back when he 'makes it'
    Another person asked me for 2.5 million, I just laughed in mandarin for the next 2.5 minutes. Thankfully I didn't have cause I would've given the first 'asker' cause I liked him.
    Still do...
    This is a deal breaker and heart break rolled into one

  11. He didn't have money and he booked business class on hold, not even economy. One girl will see him in business class and be tripping.
    Alot of people are spending money they don't have, popping bottles on credit, the lord is their strength

  12. ....and was talking fast fast...hahaha, that part killed me, I was hahaha_ing on the road (alone)....if oyibo ppl can make out on the road, then I am allowed to lol
    ....isn't it funny, how u really need money, but somehow ppl misunderstand and think they need money from you (that made sense right?)....

  13. Hungry wolves all around Lagos.. The funny thing is if it was the other way round they will say the girl is a gold digger and is all for the money... Big deal breaker.... It's even hard to give a guy one has been dating for years money talk more of someone I just met... Bruhhh you go try..

  14. Whichever way it is and from whatever gender, as long as it is presented as it was presented to you, it is a deal breaker. I no fit do am walahi. Shame no go allow me at all.
    I'm not one to gloat but mehn!, stories like this remind me that i'm well grounded, financially buoyant in my own way and comfortable in my skin.

  15. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ the pricing guy is the GOAT 🐐 mehn

  16. Major deal breaker! Business class Loun loun!!! Bros has zero chill in his hustle sha. I don't care how much I like you, the moment the con artist in you begins to struggle for recognition, I'm out!
    Nigerian 'big boys and girls' with their 'the more you look, the less you see magic' are gradually becoming a majority. Odiegwu!

    That not withstanding T, please flirt on. There's no toll fee for flirting, you know they say you kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince, You never know which of these flirtiees will become The One.

  18. I can only imagine the look on your face that day. LMAO.

    Money wen never reach me.. .i laugh. It has never happened to me and I pray it doesn't. Just imagine the nerve.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrΓ©e comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrΓ©e is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

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Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancΓ©? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.