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Too Scared To Flirt.




"What happened to Trey Songs?" A few of you have asked. 

Well, you know, at the start things were really promising. I totally adored everything about Trey, well I didn't know him that well so it only makes sense that I would adore his exterior; the height, the beard, the voice, the laugh, the shoulders... 

And things were so good, I was even almost willing to give up baby boy for Trey! Almost. 

Barely a week after we met, this one time we were talking and the strangest thing happened. You know, he was all "you're a Queen, you're so beautiful, I swear I want you" and while in the same gear went to "my life sucks, my job sucks, my salary sucks, I'm drowning in debt, I'm not even sure how I'll pay my rent, I wish I had more money" and I swear I was fucking confused. 

Was he confiding in me as a friend or was he telling me as a benefactor?

I chose to go with the former. I empathized with him and said some meaningless niceties like it is well, God will make a way, it will pass, it's only temporary, it's the economy, it's not just you, bla bla. 

Well Trey varnished shortly after and reappeared yesterday and this time he grabbed the bull by the horn. "Hello Thelma, my love, I hope you're good. I need you to help me with some cash. I could pay you back in January, if you insist". 

Hehehehehehe. 

Actually it's not funny but should I cry?

Just like this other guy I met a few months ago. I think I wrote about him here. Shortly after we met he called me early one morning and was talking fast fast. According to him he was in Abuja and had booked a flight on-hold online and the flight was that morning but for some reason he couldn't pay and he needed to get to Lagos that morning by all means! And it's business class and he needs to tidy up a few other things too so can I help him with 150k and he would return it first thing the next morning. 

I was stunned, I'd met the guy just once and all the other times we spoke it was to tell me how much he liked me amd wanted to "get to know me". Mind you, unlike Trey who's 30 this guy is about 40. 

I told him I was sorry, I didn't have 150k to spare. He said it was okay. But then at 11am he called back to say he still hadn't paid for his flight and if I could help him with 100k. I said no. "Ok, can you spare 50? I would downgrade my ticket to economy", he said. 

I'm sorry, I really don't have!

He said it was okay and hung up. By 6pm he called me to ask me if I could give him 20k. At this point I was irritated. I told him I didn't have. 

He called in another hour to ask if I could spare 10k. Still no. "Even 5k?" he asked. No sir, I no get!

And I marvelled at how he priced it like garri. How did he go from asking me for 150k in the morning to 5k in the evening?

Honestly, if these guys weren't so well packaged, expensive clothes and shoes, expensive car even, and didn't give me the "I like you" speech, I would be more inclined to give. 

I've not even told you guys about that flirt who asked if we could go spend a weekend in Ghana, on me! 😳😳😳 

I dunno, I guess I look really rich. And maybe being single, over 30 and rich equals DESPERATE. Desperate enough to pay for male companionship and affection. 

 Well, this brings me to now. 

About an hour ago I was at the tollgate, driving, music playing, singing at the top of my voice and dancing in my seat like no one else existed, when I felt eyes on me. I turned to my left and saw the cutest guy ever staring at me and smiling. He was so cute I wasn't even sure it was me he was smiling at, I had to look at the car on my right to check. I looked back and he waved. My heart melted. 

But I immediately faced my front, put my shades on and stopped singing. 

Because next week Mr Cute Face Lexus Jeep might send me his account details and ask me to "please do something". 

I'm having drinks at Double 4 and waiting to see a movie #CurrentSituation. I'm looking damn cute, if I say so myself, but with every knowing male gaze that meets my eyes I shrivel up like a prune, I'm too scared to flirt back. Not at all in a hurry for another "I'm sorry I don't have" conversation.  


But really, should this be a deal breaker? A guy you've just met who's expressed (romantic) interest in you, asking you for money or monetary favours? Deal breaker or nah?

Comments

  1. They’ve learnt from the ladies. The days of equality have come. If women can do this, why not men. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Good luck to those who do this though. ————-Hope

    ReplyDelete
  2. " I could pay you back in January, if you insist". I don't even understand what this ☝means. Like everybody else have asked, let me ask my own too... Girl where do you meet these dudes seriously? Or maybe its true afterall what they say about lekki guys and packaging.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder o. I'm a guy and it's mind-boggling. I don't understand how these guys come up with the "liver" after all the packaging.
      K.O.H.

      Delete
  3. DEAL BREAKERRRRRRR. J

    ReplyDelete
  4. Even if the first time meet isn't based on romantic interest, it's a deal breaker. Some people do this "pricing" for real and it's wrong. Even if you must ask after a 1st meet (which isn't proper) why not ask for something reasonable around what you really need, like you need 10k, so ask for 5k or 20k. That's understandable. Not needing 10k and asking for 200k. Those who do this...I don't know why they don't see anything wrong in it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deal breaker for me. I remember this one guy that was always saying how beautiful I am, how he loves me, how this and that, me sef started getting scared at his intensity. Next thing, dude tells me it's his birthday, I say "happy birthday", and that's apparently not enough. He asked me if I haven't seen ladies that buy cars for guys as birthday presents. Lol... at this stage, I wasn't sure if to laugh or cry. Anyway, that was one of our last conversations...
    I had this other guy friend who wasn't sure if he was my friend or trying to toast me. Anyway, I really liked him as a friend, but the day he told me something about needing money for rent, I wished I could unhear what I had just heard. I really wished I could. Cos I knew that was the beginning of the end. And it was.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Deal breaker!!!! Everything breaker!!!!! Jesus please take the wheel and save me from these toxic types.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This made me laugh so hard... I've been in ur shoes up to the point that when my Mr.right showed up, I ran. Thank God he was patient n persistent. I was sooo scared of guys at a point in my life. Nawa! Just b careful biko!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear you need to pray seriously against these unserious fellows o. This is bad market. How can someone ask a person he has met just once for money, talk more of someone he intends to toast. Doesn't he have friends to ask from? Odi egwu

    ReplyDelete
  9. Broke but packaged guys plenty for Lagos na.
    Once they perceive you are comfortable financially,they will remember they have problems only your money can solve.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My God, This has happened to me as well
    And in my case, we start of as just friends then the relationship progresses to something more. This 'sonething more' is usually initiated by flirty banter and I fall bam!
    Next thing I know one's asking me for 500,000 naira, that he'll pay back when he 'makes it'
    Another person asked me for 2.5 million, I just laughed in mandarin for the next 2.5 minutes. Thankfully I didn't have cause I would've given the first 'asker' cause I liked him.
    Still do...
    This is a deal breaker and heart break rolled into one

    ReplyDelete
  11. He didn't have money and he booked business class on hold, not even economy. One girl will see him in business class and be tripping.
    Alot of people are spending money they don't have, popping bottles on credit, the lord is their strength

    ReplyDelete
  12. ....and was talking fast fast...hahaha, that part killed me, I was hahaha_ing on the road (alone)....if oyibo ppl can make out on the road, then I am allowed to lol
    ....isn't it funny, how u really need money, but somehow ppl misunderstand and think they need money from you (that made sense right?)....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hungry wolves all around Lagos.. The funny thing is if it was the other way round they will say the girl is a gold digger and is all for the money... Big deal breaker.... It's even hard to give a guy one has been dating for years money talk more of someone I just met... Bruhhh you go try..

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whichever way it is and from whatever gender, as long as it is presented as it was presented to you, it is a deal breaker. I no fit do am walahi. Shame no go allow me at all.
    I'm not one to gloat but mehn!, stories like this remind me that i'm well grounded, financially buoyant in my own way and comfortable in my skin.

    ReplyDelete
  15. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ the pricing guy is the GOAT 🐐 mehn

    ReplyDelete
  16. Major deal breaker! Business class Loun loun!!! Bros has zero chill in his hustle sha. I don't care how much I like you, the moment the con artist in you begins to struggle for recognition, I'm out!
    Nigerian 'big boys and girls' with their 'the more you look, the less you see magic' are gradually becoming a majority. Odiegwu!

    ReplyDelete
  17. MAJOR DEAL BREAKER.
    That not withstanding T, please flirt on. There's no toll fee for flirting, you know they say you kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince, You never know which of these flirtiees will become The One.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can only imagine the look on your face that day. LMAO.

    Money wen never reach me.. .i laugh. It has never happened to me and I pray it doesn't. Just imagine the nerve.

    ReplyDelete

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