Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from January, 2017

Thirty One.

Thirty one. 
And no, I'm not talking about my age, I'm talking about how many days this year has had. Is it me or did this month seem more eventful and chaotic than the whole of 2016 put together.
Like, there was just so much going on in Nigeria, in the U.S, on social media, all around us... Jeez, it's been so exhausting. 

Then everything was just happening all at once. The U.S. president, Trump has singlehandedly put the whole world on edge. The man deserves an award! Buhari was fine, then ill, then dead, then alive (thanks to that insipid picture), then many Nigerians got sad because they were not happy about this. LOL. Laura Ikeji got married traditionally and people couldn't stop talking about how "classless" it all was, especially with all the millions from both sides... Guess their expectations were very high. Pro-Biafrans marching for Donald Trump. Kemi Olunloyo cannot stop trolling Nigerian celebrities, Georgina Onuoha and Angela Okorie are her latest ta…

Please Don't Pay Tithes!

Tithing has become one of the most controversial aspects of Christianity in Nigeria, and the person who seems to be singlehandedly championing this cause is Daddy Freeze. 
Sunday morning a while back, I listened to him at his workplace, Cool fm 96.9 and it seemed that Cool fm had made him the resident reverend, seeing as it was a Sunday morning and it was the slot usually reserved for sermons or pastors. Freeze adopted the booming voice of a preacher on a pulpit, and of all the many great things one could talk to Christians about on a Sunday morning, Freeze chose to talk about the scam call tithing. Nothing surprising there as Freeze has suddenly become an evangelist and his calling must be Oyedepo-bashing. The only message his ministry seems focused on is Pastors are 419ers and Yahoo boys; do not pay tithe! 
He shared with his listeners the reasons he believes that nobody should pay tithe to their pastors and suggested other ways they can spend their own money. He shared the story of o…

WTF Is Wrong With Some Women?

A good maid is hard to find these days. Especially when there are little kids at home who have come to like the maid. 
But really, how much should a woman take all in the name of keeping a good house help?
Last week I told y'all about how my sister's house help, *Ann fell victim to these local scammers that hypnotize unknowing people and make them bring all the valuables at home. She packed my sister's gold, watches and some other jewelry. We later we found that she also gave them my sister's coral beads, some new perfumes and my brother in law's wristwatches. 
The girl (errrrm not a girl exactly. She's in her mid-late 20s) said they took her phone and her ATM cards. She told us that she had at least 100k in each account and that they'd withdrawn from both accounts. My sister went to the banks the next day and was able to check if withdrawals had been made from the accounts on that day and they were actually made. The monies were withdrawn from Abeokuta. The &…

President Buhari For a Day.

I nearly fought with someone physically over the weekend because of this... President Buhari. 
At least by now we know he's alive, thank God for that. Because Nigeria just isn't ready for what would happen otherwise. 
The fight, I never get impassioned about politics or political leaders (I use the word "leaders" very lightly by the way). But I just cannot get my head around how 2 years on, people are still blaming Goodluck Jonathan for the Nigeria of today. Yes, even if we all agree that Goodluck Jonathan is the worstest president Nigeria has ever had. But wouldn't you agree that two years later, Nigeria should have started recovering, even a little?...
So let's here it from you this Monday morning. What's the first thing you'd do if you wake up as President Buhari? 
If I ask #FranklySpeaking he'll write me a 24 page thesis so nah, I'm asking you instead and we all can share our views in the comment section. #FS hun you know your views are always…

Maybel: Losing The Vibe.

I met Mr B after a short while I joined my former company,I was the one who attended to him and in the process we got chatting and after few minutes of chatting, he left his complimentary card with a plea that I call him. I closed from work at about 2pm, went to the changing room and sat down. I brought out Mr B's complimentary card and stared at it for a while with a lot of things running through my mind like, who is this cutie? The sudden feeling of butterflies and happiness, the thought of him just made me feel this inner peace. I changed and signed out of the office. I brought out the card and dialed Mr B's number, he was excited to hear from me and that was the beginning of a friendship that later led to a relationship. 
After two months of being intimate, we were having a phone conversation and he made it clear to me that we weren't heading anywhere and that he cant marry someone from the east. he gave his reasons and all but that for me was the beginning of a subcons…

When Only Married Men Want You and The Few Single Men Who Do Are Lazy About It...

And I notice this all around me. I can see easily the vast difference in a married man wooing you and a single guy asking you out. Ironically a married man is willing to walk the lengths of the earth just to get you to have dinner with him. Most single guys want you to walk the lengths of the earth just before he texts you back. 
And many chics, around my age, older and younger complain about it too. 'All the men on my case are married! The single men just aren't there. The ones that are there act like they're doing you a favour by asking you out!'
This is the same song so many single friends of mine are singing and it's quite painful to listen to. 
*Sigh*. 

Anyone experiencing this? How do you cope?

Dear Thelma (He's Been Married Twice!)

I met my Prince Charming in August 2016. I call him my Prince Charming because honest to God that is what he has been to me. I used to think he just wanted to hit and run but this man has been the biggest blessing of my life. The day we met a mutual friend warned me, that I should never take him seriously because he's been married twice and is now single again, before 40. She said he is very rich, I should just enjoy whatever he has to offer and never let my emotions get involved. That was my plan o, but in less than 3 weeks I was already falling for him and he is yet to disappoint me. I have become BFFs with his younger sister and he has met my family too and they all love him, but I haven't told them that he has been married before, twice. He hasn't proposed to me but he is dropping hints of marriage. Yesterday he said he wants us to travel for valentine and I am afraid that he might propose. I won't be able to travel because of work sha so... But my problem is this,…

Thelma Thinks Help Centre!

The Help Centre is you and I guys. I was really moved when I got a message from one of our most loyal readers and commenters on the blog. If I could I would have singlehandedly helped out but we need everyone who can to help with what they have. 
I know that if I disclosed her identity most of us would be more moved to help out, but for obvious reasons she wouldn't want that. So I'm just hoping that everybody who can, reaches out to me.
I'd told her it's nothing to be ashamed of. She is a single young lady in her early 20s without a well-paying job and she lives all alone and is the only one responsible for her welfare, it's only normal that she'd fall into this kind of situation once in a while.  
She's not asking for so much as all she needs is enough money to pay for a one room apartment either in Surelere, Cele, Egbeda or Yaba axis. So I'm certain that we can all do this. Little drops as they say, make an ocean. 
Please mail me for her account details (…

Favourite: Living With The Landlord

Maybel and I hadn't seen in months as she had been in calabar serving our fatherland , but hey its Christmas and she was back in the city of Ibadan to spend the festivities with family and friends.We planned a whole day of activities, starting with hanging out at our favourite pizza spot, Dominos, watch  Live by nightat Filmhouse  Dugbe and end the day shopping at the heritage mall. Live bynight isn't really my kind of movie as I am more of a Chick flick kinda girl but bestie wanted this movie & watch it we will.My phone rang breaking into my reverie, its Maybel calling. "Bukayo,where are you?" "At Dominos" I told her "OMG, its so good to see you" I said hugging her minutes later. "Calabar really does agree with you, you look fab". I had really missed my best friend and looking into her eyes, I could see the feelings mirrored."So when do you move into your crib?" I asked. "As soon as I get back to calabar" came he…

2face's Call To Action! Who's in?

2Baba has called on Nigerians to join him at a nationwide protest set to hold in February with the aim of demanding answers from the government over several issues, including the economic recession.

FIRST MASSIVE NATIONWIDE PROTESTS ON THE 5TH OF FEBRUARY, 2017.A call for good governance.
A call for urgent explanation into the reckless economic downturn nationwide.
A call for nationwide protests as we say No to the Executive, No to legislatures, No to judiciary… You have all failed us.
We the people are tired. We can no longer continue with all of you. All your excuses and mistakes are not funny. We do not wish to continue with a system and government that is not working but afflicting the people. We the people of this country not living under the privileges of government allowances and remuneration have now accepted to take the bull by the horn to come out and protest this obnoxious and baseless policies and excuses of the government of the day.Where are the recovered looted funds?
Why do…

They Hypnotized Her.

Hypnotism is real!
I've watched some videos online. All sorts of hypnotism, some even end up on porn sites...
But let me get back on track. Hypnotism. 
Nigerians do it too. But instead of using our "Jazz" for better something, we must sha use it for bad. 
And so yesterday my sister's help said she felt something press against her back and she pretty much blanked out after that. They asked her to bring her ATM, asked for the pin (they withdrew most of her cash, because she didn't tell us on time that they'd been withdrawing her money, it's only earlier today we were able to go to the bank to have her card blocked). They took her phone and the little cash she had on her. And then she also cleared out my sister's jewelry and wristwatches. 
The only reason I'm writing this lightheartedly is that my sister keeps most of her gold or other expensive jewelry at the bank not at home. So the maid gave them about two sets of gold, a gold bracelet, and then costum…

I Fear The Teething Stage!

Yes, Tonto Dike's marriage has been all over the news of late and that's quite sad. But the comment I saw on Bella Naija directed at Tonto made me smile, sadly. 
Tonto marriage is not an easy one and who ever says it is or makes it look like it is is nothing but a pretender covering up buried skeletons. What you and hubby are going through is called the teething stage of a marriage and EVERY marriage undergoes it. Teething stage follows right after the honey moon stage. But sadly it lasts longer than the honey moon stage. It can last from 2-4/5 years after the honey moon stage is over. Honey moon stage lasts only 6months to 2 years for the lucky few who can enjoy it for up to 2 years. But like it or not teething stage follows right after. It can propagated by bad inlaws, bad habits of either spouses not completely checked prior to getting married or loose women or men out there or husband thieves as I choose to call them. . It is at this teething stage that the wiser men adopt …

Favourite: Comparison or Benchmarking?

Benchmarking as defined is a measurement of the quality of an organization's policies, products,programs,strategies & their comparison with standard measurements and similar measurements of its peers.
Comparison is defined as a consideration or estimation of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people. It's used to indicate degrees of superiority or inferiority in quality,quantity or intensity.
The main difference between benchmarking and comparison is its focus i.e it's objective. Benchmarking on a personal level could be seen as the measurement of the quality of an individual's goals, plans, strategies and how it compares to similar measurements of your peers. In simple terms, to benchmark is to say, this is my goal, the results I seek, now I know/see someone who has achieved similar results that I am after, how did they achieve it, what exactly did they do? Now given my unique resources, personality, abilities, experiences, how can I customiz…

Time To Go...

It's not time to go. I've been blessed with a good blog and even better blog readers, and shutting it down crossed my mind for the upteenth time but I suddenly felt intensely sad and that's how I know it's not yet time to go. 
But I admit that I'm not holding my end of the bargain and I feel terribly guilty about this. At the moment so much is going on in my life and it makes it hard for me to stay focused on blogging, or to even get on the Internet and know what's going on. 
I recently moved back to the Mainland (probably temporarily) to run a family business and this is taking all my time. It's bigger than me, there's sooooooo much riding on it and it's a 7 day a week project, for now at least. 
So this, among other things, makes it really hard to find time for anything else at the moment. The only things I find I can focus on are my relationship with God (because I need Him now more than I ever have), the business, and my nearest. 
That said, since I…

Favourite: Living In Gidi ((Lagos vs Abuja)

The Day started out like any other day or so I thought......little did I know events had already unfolded to make the day a memorable one for me.
Driving from my Lugbe abode, one of Abuja's satellite towns to my office in Maitama took me all of fifteen(15) minutes. The M.D would like to see you in an hour, said my secretary as I stepped into my office.
"Over the past five(5) years you have proven to be a dedicated, diligent, dependable and vital part of this organization. Hence I am pleased to inform you of your promotion & transfer to Lagos with effect from February 1st,2017. I have unwavering confidence in your ability to head our new branch in Lagos. All necessary structures have been put in place and I am available to provide appropriate support. Do not disappoint me" emphasized the MD. 
"Congratulations.......thank you sir...." i managed to say.

It's been days since I got this news and my feelings are still undecided about this impending move. And yes,…

Kemi Olunloyo To Laura Ikeji-Kanu.

Yesterday Laura Ikeji and her boo, younger brother of Kanu Nwankwo got married legally. Congrats to them! 
Well there's been some talk, especially with regards to Laura's botched attempt at photoshopping one of the pictures... I really and truly don't get Laura doing that. Is it pregnancy? Wow! Girl be proud and flaunt it. It's something to celebrate, it's not like any of us were expecting you to be a virgin or anything... Anyways, over to aunty Kemi. Read below. 


"Congrats to #LauraIkeji on getting married. However many ppl have asked me to critique this picture as a #socialcritic. The photo is retouched. That is not her hand. Too bony, people say she's hiding a baby bump. Registry marriages usually mean you are either pregnant or poor. For Laura Ikeji and a brother of a footballer? What happened to your double wedding shit in #Nigeria? Traditional and white. So what if she's preggo? Bout time one of those gals gave their mom a grandchild. One thing ver…

Ifesinachi Okonkwo: I Must Get Married This Year!

I paced around the room, my palms were sweaty, I was running late. I stared at my huge afro weavon, and slid a brush through it. I applied oil sheen, massaged, and pulled the tip up to give it a bouncy look. I wondered if this is the kind of hair I should wear. Wasn't it too obvious? Too flamboyant? I applied Mary Kay foundation, carefully pressing the puff on my skin, making sure it blends well; what was more embarrasing than having foundation run in a line on ones face - so callow. I hesitated for a minute; should I use the red or pink lipstick. I went with red, afterall I should look like a woman that is ready for marriage, pink seems too girly. I had wanted to wear my peach coloured christian loubiton pumps but I changed my mind, it was too expensive. I settled for my low heeled 'no designer label' ballet shoes. I wore my Gucci wristwatch, I didn't have to look like a guttersnipe, and of course I wouldn't want to be labeled a Gold digger. I was going to attend N…