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Monday, 27 February 2017

Letter To My Ex's Bae


So as the month of love comes to an end, I'm allowed to be salty and venture into the less sugary side of love. I think about my last ex from time to time because, well, I don't have amnesia. 

I love Adele's song "Give my love to your new lover, treat her better...."

I always say Adele which one consign you with your ex's new lover? Abeg mind your business and face your own bae. 


But truth be told, sometimes we think about the person who's with our ex now and we can't help but wonder how the relationship is. Some Exs were actually really great, don't get me wrong. But some were real douchebags. Either ways no one is ever perfect so if you're to advice your ex's current boo based on the experiences you had in the relationship, what would you say?

Mine would read like this

Dear *Nna's bae,
He has a thing for younglings, JAMB and WAEC candidates are his preference so if you see any of your little neighbour's lingering around, be extra watchful. Also, you're going to need some pretty solid ear muffs for that snoring. Jeez, his snores can wake up your ancestors, but you've probably figured that out by now. He has a porn addiction so don't feel insecure when you cannot do the sometimes debasing, sometimes fantabulous things he might request of you. Those things are only normal in the porn industry not in real life, so don't think other women do such things and start to feel bad or insecure... Err, unless you have similar kinks as he does, in which case more power to you ☺️. Oh, he's stingy but once you find his sweet spots you can turn him into Alhaji bringi bringi. πŸ˜‚. Lastly, don't forget regular tests and check ups, I think this might be the most important advise. 

Now. Your turn. 

Thank You My Awesome-Tastic TTB Readers!!!

Dearest thelma, words cannot express how grateful I am for what u and my fellow bvs have done. Dearest thelma, I want you to know that u are loved by many (especially bvs). U sud see the love and support shown to me by these angels and beautiful souls. Ha thelma, the world loves u o. To sunshine(my first caller),tiwa,ibukunoluwa, kon, tokunbo, nneka,isoken, yetunde,... God bless u all. As you have shown me love, the love of christ will never elude you all and your household. You all will never be stranded in life. And to thelma who made this possible by posting my plea, God will always be there for you whenever u need him. We have been discharged and we are home now. God Almighty bless u all.


Oh wow! How do I even begin to thank you awesome people for reaching out to this lady and actually being a blessing in her life? God bless, replenish and enrich you all. Thank you! I thank God mother and child are fine now. 

In case you didn't see the previous mail read it below. I'm posting this so that anyone else who can still help out will reach out to her and do so. I noticed that she also appealed to us for supplies. Caring for a baby can be very demanding, so please feel free to be of assistance to the new Mum. 

Dearest thelma, it is with a heavy
heart I write to you this morning. I have lost every hope
but there is dat little voice that still tells me that there
may be light at the end of the tunnel. Hmmmm. Dear nwando I
just got delivered of a bouncing baby boy and am still at
the hospital for 7days now. After delivery, my baby was
admitted for severe jaundice and he has been on phototeraphy
for a week now. 

Dear thelma the reason I am writing to you
is because I am so hopeless on how to pay the remaining
bill. I have been able to pay 20,000 but still have a
outstanding of 35,500.  Please
dear thelma I need your help and that of fellow bvs to help me out. I never knew delivery would be this expensive. It is
a teaching hospital yet things are so high. Dearest bvs pls
help a fellow blog visitor out and the almighty God I
serve will never keep u stranded. 

Also to help with food and
other things, I want to sell my phone( a bb bold5). It is
still in a very good and nice condition and my tv set(a
15inch samsung ). Both are in very good conditions. Attached
below are pictures of I am my baby at phototeraphy. 

I can be reached on 08036367591. I reside in


5 Things About Femi Adesina's Juvenile Reaction To MrPresident's "Surprise" Phone Call.

If this account shared by Femi Adesina on Saturday the 25th of February is not juvenile, then I don't know what is. 

In case you haven't read it, he said: At exactly 2.43 p.m today, Saturday, February 25, 2017, my phone rang. Who was at the other end? Tunde Sabiu, personal assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari.
"Hold on for Mr President," Tunde said.
And in a matter of seconds, the very familiar voice came:
"Femi, how are you?" (He calls me Adesina most times, but today, he opted for Femi)
I screamed :"Mr President, I have missed you. How are you sir?"
He first laughed. That familiar laugh. Then he said: "I am still resting. Thank you for holding out against mischief makers."
I said it was my duty, the very least I could do, adding how happy I was to speak with him.
"How is your family?"
I said we were fine, and he asked me to extend his greetings to them.
"I hope to call you again, " Mr President said, and I bade him farewell, adding: "Best wishes, sir."
It was a defining moment for me. For more than a month, I had always spoken with aides who are with the President in London. Not once did I ask them to take the phone to him, deliberately so, because I didn't need to speak with him to validate the fact that he was alive. And since he was on vacation, he had a right to his privacy.
Of his own volition, President Buhari spoke with me. It made my day. Even if he hadn't done so, he would have remained my President, my leader, and my man. Any day.

These are my thoughts. 
* In the words of Abraham Lincoln; "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time. But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time". I personally feel insulted by this write up which proves absolutely nothing. The President may be alive, hale and hearty, but this does nothing to prove that, if that was Mr Adesina's goal. Is he suggesting that simply because he TOLD us that the President called he and he SCREAMED, all doubts, questions and fears should be suddenly allayed? 

* I fail to see the point behind publicizing this phone call, seeing as Femi in no where wrote that the President asked after the wellbeing of Nigerians and how we are faring in his absence. Instead Femi tells us that the President only asked after his family, and that was after referring to us, his people, as mischief makers. 

* Some people have suggested, albeit jokingly that the PDP should have governors Nyesom Wike and Fayose also pay the President a visit. We all know that this may never happen, however I'm sure we agree that if truly we are to be convinced that there's nothing to be worried about, persons other than those in the President's camp should also be invited to pay the President a visit and share the august experience with us. That should most certainly shush the "mischief makers", no?

* "screamed :"Mr President, I have missed you. How are you sir?", Was this really necessary? But if we are to look beyond this frivolity and closely at the word SCREAM we'd have numerous questions to ask. Femi is the President's mouth piece, his aide, his "boy" (seeing as he referred to the President as his "man"), yet one phone call evoked enough surprise and excitement to make him SCREAM? Does this not suggest, perhaps, that Mr Femi was also in doubt of the President's health, like other mischief makers Nigerians, and this phone call from the President himself flooded Femi with relief and excitement that PMB is well? Or should we agree Femi Fani Kayode who said about the phone call; "When Femi Adesina finally sees Buhari he will crawl on his belly like a snake on heat and offer words of praise and worship..."?

* Lastly, I fail to understand who exactly are mischief makers. Reports continue to reach us that President Buhari is hale and hearty, some reports say he is simply "resting", others say we should "Pray for him". Some say he is running tests, other reports tell us "there is no cause for alarm". The people are confused. Their President has been on vacation for over a month. Their President is yet to speak to his people through various media available to him. The people naturally become uncertain and apprehensive. In the face of silence and doubt, various conclusions would be drawn... Not everyone who enquires about the whereabouts of a President they elected into office is a mischief maker. 

These are some of my thoughts. Do you care to share yours?


Sunday, 26 February 2017

Who LBS Help?

So I've been yearning to go for a business course for sometime now. My plan initially was either South Africa, Nairobi or Dubai. But with the shape my year is taking, travel looks somewhat tentative. 

So... I'm thinking what course can I take here while I work. 

I discuss this with every business minded person I meet. 

Last week I met a lady on the WhatsApp group for the team members of a conference coming up later in the year. I'm the team lead for the event-planning. I got talking to her in a private chat and it was so seemless; one of those people that you're just destined to meet. She is also a lawyer, also an events planner, we went to law school and were called to the Bar together, and coincidentally we have a lot of mutual friends. 

We were trying to pick a date for our first meeting when she said she had classes on that day, she's in business school. 

I simply presumed that she meant LBS (Lagos Business School) but I soon learnt that she meant LLBS  (Leading Ladies Business School). At our meeting I enquired about LLBS as I'd never heard about it before, and she swore that she made the right decision going there. Yes, she first went to enquire at LBS but the entrepreneurship course she wanted to attend costs about N960,000 and that was way above her budget. At LLBS however her two-month course is costing N60,000 and she tells me that in just one month of attendance, her life has changed tremendously. 

I've discussed this with a few people ever since. I asked a few LBS alumni, and it seems that just like Harvard business school alumni, the one major factor, the reason many go there, and seemingly the most important benefit is the network. 

Everyone I meet who's attending or about to attend LBS, or has done a course there, talks not so much about the skills, the knowledge or the transformation their minds underwent, as they do the network (and connections). 

That's not such a bad thing as your network is your net worth. But... I'm certain there's much more, yes?

So I'm just sitting here this Sunday afternoon thinking. I really want to equip myself. Naturally I want the best and I've seen the roll call of some of LBS alumni, that's great company to be in as you get ushered into this elite club and become on one-on-one terms with some of the greatest business mind in the country, or the world, even. Besides LBS is LBS!

So even if I join LLBS for their May batch because of the great things I've heard about it (she said some of their lecturers actually also tutor at LBS!) I'd still like to do a program at LBS, maybe before the year ends, if the travel plans aren't viable. 

Some people have said "please who LBS epp?", some have even said "who business school epp?" (Err, ask google...) but I wonder what you think. 

Have you taken or thought of taking a course in business? What insititions did/will you consider? And how useful do you think these trainings really are in building a successful business empire?

Oh, has anyone here been a part of Poize Insider? Please what can you tell me about it? 

Please talk to me. 



Dear Thelma (How Soon Is Too Soon?)

Happy Sunday my fellow TTB lovers. Please come together and put mouth in my issue. How long should you date somebody before you marry please? I met him end of December and he proposed this month. Actually from the week that we met he told me that he wants to get married, he is not ready for games or dating or anything like that. He believes that he is a good person and that I'm one too, and that any issue or surprise that arises in marriage, we will both work together and deal with it. I have met his siblings and dad, he has met my mum. Mum is fine with it because I'm getting older, she just says as long as he will love and cherish me like his own sister, it's ok. She also says it's okay if I don't love him now, that people can fall in love while married, and that its even better that way. Hmm, what do you think?  

I know this guy really wants to settle down again (married once with two kids, he said the marriage failed partly because of immaturity, he got married at 25 and she 18, and other reasons). He is doing everything he can to make me happy and he says all he wants is a family to come home to at the end of the day. Presently he seems to adore me and tries all he can to make me happy. He has opened up to me about almost everything about him, his previous marriage, his finances, his plans for business, his dreams, his investments and he asks for my input on everything. I guess he is just doing all that he can to make me feel like a wife and show me that he means business. I like him as a person and we have chemistry but I feel like I'm doing a crash program. I feel kinda rushed, he is rushing the whole getting to know you and bonding process that usually take about a year to build, and it's just been a little over two months that we met. 

When he proposed I said yes but I don't wear my very beautiful engagement ring because it all feels so unreal. I haven't even told any of my friends that I am engaged. He is planning a visit with some of his people to my dad who resides in our home town. I am so confused BVs, I'm praying and praying about it. I know that in December I prayed to meet my husband soon, but I am so full of doubt and fear. The two couples I know who met and married in less than six months are now divorced. But I also know a couple who dated for 9 years and divorced 8 months into marriage. 

Please I need your advise. I'm past 30 but I don't want to make mistakes in marriage. Please what will you do if you're me. 

Thank you. 

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Sisi Vero!

After the first interview I was so done with her, like soooo done! Her eyes kept straying to her phone, and this one time my phone rang, it was my guy from Nigerian Breweries calling to know what drinks I needed. The second I picked his call she jumped up and went to makes hers outside. Her call took longer than mine. She casually strolled back minutes later and gingerly perched her pert bum on the seat. 

I was done!

But she resurfaced later and I really needed someone so I let her come onboard. 

A few days after she resumed I had a staff meeting, sat them all down and told them how things will be going forward. They listened quietly with sombre expressions, the air was tense, like they all had things weighing heavy on their minds. Talk done, I asked them if they had any thing they wanted to talk about and immediately they all started to talk at once, each one struggling to be heard above the others. All except Vero. I calmed them down and we took it one at a time. One after the other they shared their grievances which I tried to dispel until the last complaint. 

"Vero, what about you? No question?" I asked. 

Several pairs of eyes turned to her. 

"Err, madam, just one question"


"Madam, when customers come in the night, can they buy drink for me?"

We all stared. Like seriously, each person had just raised some really pressing issues that we all needed thrashed and Vero's only concern was if it was okay for lecherous men to buy her drinks...

Once again I was reminded why I shouldn't have hired Vero. 

But you see, Vero is turning out to be the hen that laid the golden egg. 

On the day that Vero started work, some male friends of her came around. Those guys were responsible for over half of the sales that day. If we made 60k, the guys spent 40k!

They were 4. They bought 48 pieces of fried goat meat. LOL. I still don't know how they ate it. 

Oh, and they kept the drinks flowing. 

Ever since then Vero has one group of friends or the other coming in and splurging, and Vero will just be cat walking upandan, shaking her bumbum with one smug smile on her face. Like Yes I'm the baddest bitch in town! 


Regular customers also seem to be under her spell and are buying more, just so that Vero can keep coming back to their tables. 

Sometimes I have to bring her down to size, to keep her grounded. There seems to be the need to clip her wings a little, just a little...

Vero gets on my nerves daily; she's absentminded, she's not dedicated, her mind isn't in the right place, she doesn't want to get her hands dirty and sometimes act like she's above certain tasks. But apparently Vero's milkshake brings all the boys to the bar... πŸ˜•

So what do you think. Is Vero good for business or bad for business?


When You Miss The One Who Hurt You The Most...

I drove passed Diamond Bank somewhere along the airport axis today and I reached for my phone, wanting to call her. My heart sank realizing that I couldn't. 

I sunk into the seat seething, I miss her deeply, I desperately want to talk to her. She's just a phone call away but I can't. 

Maybe it does make sense in the way Stockholm syndrome makes sense...

But like Stockholm, it's simply absurd. 

Maybe it makes sense in the way a lover cheats or beats you or abuses you, yet you still love them. 

She was my closest friend. I'd heard terrible things that she did in the past. In fact, before I met her I'd heard her "friends" describe her as wicked, one said her heart is at her back, another said she's simply evil. 

I saw that evil with my eyes when we became friends, but it was always towards someone else, and so even though my eyes would fly wide open in shock at some of the things I saw her do, I always thought that I, Nwando, was immune. I knew she was bad but I thought she'd be good to me. (Lesson #1: you're not the exception). 

Well that was until months into my relationship I learnt that she was calling my man. 

How she got his number; I once ran out of credit and used her phone to call him. She called him later that night claiming not to know who he was and how the number got on her phone, and that's how they got talking. (Lesson #2: don't tell your friends the bad things about your partner, but be careful not to tell them too much about the good things. You'd give them ideas...)

She was my closest friend but she was travelling to go see him. No, he's not blameless either. She would get him to give her cash, buy her flight tickets to go see other guys and come to visit him in town whenever she pleased. 

All this time she was talking with me. 

I also learnt that she kept urging him to break up with me. Her supposed reason was that I love him too much and I'm too attached to him, so he should break up with me before I fall any deeper. 

But that's alright. 

That didn't hurt as much as it did when I learnt that she was an anonymous who would come on the blog and say very mean and nasty things to and about me. Ironically, she's the one I would call to show the comments and she would comfort me and tell me to pay him/her no mind. 

I remember clearly a few times we were actually in the same house together and those comments would pop up and I'd show her and she would become so irate and impassioned, she'd tell me that if she ever found the person making those comments, she would kill them with her bare hands. 

She did so many things I lack the will or zeal to write about, lied about me to many people, assassinated my character, and tried to sabotage the one man who loved me. 

Oh recently, I learnt she was also sleeping with my ex when we were still together, that's a previous relationship. I would invite her to stay with me in his house because they were friends too. There were nights I'd go to bed and leave them talking, I just believed that she would never be bad to me. Oh well, turns out she thought it was alright to screw the man she was telling me would marry me. (Lesson #3. Trust no one, never let your guard down). 

So you see why I say it makes no sense that not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I think about her not with bile nor bitterness, but with longing and love. 

I miss her to the point of tears sometimes. She was evil but she was lovable. It sucks but it is what it is. 

She was fun, spontaneous, lively, cunning (read intelligent), exciting and unpredictable. She was patient and caring. And somehow in a very sick and twisted way, I think she loved me. 

It takes the strength of will for me not to call her, everyday. I literally have to remind myself each time of just a few of the things she's done to me and how I felt when I found out, to stop myself from calling. 

My people na only me waka come? Have you ever had a relative, friend or lover who treated you so bad, over and over and over again, yet you can't bring yourself to hate them, yet you still can't really let go, yet you still want them...? 

Or could you never ever see yourself doing that?

Either way, I'd love to talk about it. 


Thursday, 23 February 2017

Photos. Dear BVs & Thelma... (TTB Help Centre needed ASAP; New Mum)

Dearest thelma, it is with a heavy
heart I write to you this morning. I have lost every hope
but there is dat little voice that still tells me that there
may be light at the end of the tunnel. Hmmmm. Dear nwando I
just got delivered of a bouncing baby boy and am still at
the hospital for 7days now. After delivery, my baby was
admitted for severe jaundice and he has been on phototeraphy
for a week now. 

Dear thelma the reason I am writing to you
is because I am so hopeless on how to pay the remaining
bill. I have been able to pay 20,000 but still have a
outstanding of 35,500.  Please
dear thelma I need your help and that of fellow bvs to help me out. I never knew delivery would be this expensive. It is
a teaching hospital yet things are so high. Dearest bvs pls
help a fellow blog visitor out and the almighty God I
serve will never keep u stranded. 

Also to help with food and
other things, I want to sell my phone( a bb bold5). It is
still in a very good and nice condition and my tv set(a
15inch samsung ). Both are in very good conditions. Attached
below are pictures of I am my baby at phototeraphy. 

I can be reached on 08036367591. I reside in

Guys, I like that she put up her pictures and her phone number, just in case you'd like to be sure and/or verify. Please people, I know times are not fantastic for some of us, but I would like to implore you good people to please reach out to this lady, and do what you can. I beg of you. 

I wanted to ask if there's a husband, or baby's father in the picture, but it seems as though there isn't. Nonetheless...

You can call or text her to get her account details and send her some money, or other forms of assistance. 

I just left port harcourt yesterday, I wish I'd gotten this sooner as I would have gone to the hospital to drop off some food stuff and pay them a visit, but I will still do what I can. 

Please can I get some assurance that you too will do what you can? 

Thank you! 

Monday, 20 February 2017

PunIntended: Unsolicited Opinions. Something Wicked: Movie Review & Other Things


Review Epilogue (because I’m cool like that)

So, it was Sunday and church was over. The sad reality that I had exhausted my 2 weeks leave and was going to return to that soul crushing black hole of a job the next day, began to dawn on me. In a desperate bid to savor what was left of my freedom, I wanted to do something to lift my spirits. So, like every normal, non-dysfunctional, single male adult, I decided to go to the movies - alone. Still reeling from all the excitement and satisfaction I got from “The Wedding Party”, I decided to watch another Nollywood movie. 

The cinema closest to me is Genesis Deluxe at Lekki Palms. Among all the Naija movies they were showing, I settled for “Something Wicked” for a few reasons: The cast looked verypromising and I had stumbled on a series of tweets the previous day from one of its producers; she was soliciting for support, urging folks to go see the movie, apparently, the movie was made by a trio of independent filmmakers and this was their debut project in the industry. She said the opening numbers were decent but current projections indicated that the movie might be “kicked out” from the cinemas within 2 weeks of release. It was a passionate plea, guys. Anyway, to the review.


The movie tells the story of Hauwa (played by the lovely IretiDoylewho struggles to salvage her business while catering to the needs of her family as a single parent. Her nephew, Abel(Okey Uzoeshi), who was recently orphaned, has just moved into her home. He rarely speaks and struggles to fit into his new family and this is chalked up as a post traumatic symptom from the loss of his parents. Hauwa’s children, Becca (Beverly Naya)Daniel (Gabriel Afolanyan) and Esther (Ivie Okujaye)were characters that formed a subplot which revolved around their sibling relationship. Also, there was the comic relief, Claudia (Adesua Etomiwho was Claudia’s Assistant/friend/colleague?  (It was never specified).

The ‘sweet spots’ of this movie occurred every time the characters exposed their vulnerabilities and because all of the actors are top notch, it was always beautiful to watch. Like Hauwabreaking down in her car because of a failed business presentation after hitherto putting a strong front for her friend. Beverly Naya admitting a secret to her brother who apparently had been concerned about her all along but masked it with his dismissive, big brother charade. 

This movie succeeds more as a family drama than a Psycho drama; a huge chunk of the movie (at least the first 90 minutes), safe for the Abel’s cryptic nuances and periodic nightmares, played out as just plain drama.

As usual, Ireti was outstanding in thisY’all know how she do. Her onscreen presence always shines through. In this movie, she also gets additional credit for speaking the Hausa Language almost fluently, complete with the undertones and intonations (I was born and raised in the North, fam). Her scenes with Adesua brought out her funny side which I’d never seen.

I had a slight issue was Adesua’s character. Although sheinterpreted her role decentlyin a few scenes, she came across as a bit over the top. This is one problem with Naija movies, even the good ones, they sometimes stretch the comic relief thing a bit too thin. Moderation, guys, please.

Also, the director did not do much to utilize the landscape as a character in the story. Hence, it is hard to say what part of Nigeria the family is based in. It is implied that they are a Northern family based in Lagos but then, why did Hauwa speak Hausa to a detective who she’d just met for the first time.

All in all, it was a good movie, if you’re looking to have a good time at the movies, you should check it out. Also, if you’re looking to be a good Christian and epp the filmmakers’ hustle, you should get a ticket.


NB: Gabriel Afolanyan, who until today I had only known as ‘Somebody Afolayan’ or ‘The Guy From That Airtel Advert’ is a really, really good actor but I hate that his beard makes mine look like birdflu. Anyway, he is a rich kid, we all know rich people eat good food which possess nutrients that stimulate the hair follicle and make beards connect. Everyone knows this. Read your Biology, guys.

It is also worth mentioning that Beverly Nayawho is currently known as the most beautiful girl in Nollywood – by me and my brother - was also outstanding here and really beautiful. 

Me: Did you watch the movie

My broYupp, Beverly Naya!

Me: Guy!!!

My bro: I swear!!!

Yea, we’re not very articulate, my brother and I. But we do love us some Beverly!


As written by blog reader; PunIntended


Punintended πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Loved this. Great read, I should see this movie soon. And yes, Beverly Naya is bae. I'd just leave it at that so I don't sound gay. πŸ™ˆ


Dear Thelma... (It's Complicated).

My story may be complicated but Pls be patient with me. 

Few months ago I met a man at my friend's party, he is her husband's friend and it's as if he immediately developed feelings for me. After some weeks of ignoring him I noticed that I was having feelings for him too, so we started to spend more time talking and chatting. Shortly after that he asked me if I'm a relationship, I answered that yes I'm seeing someone. He was hurt and ended the call. 

I have been dating someone for sometime now, but he is married. I know it is wrong and I'm not proud about it, and I keep on asking God why the only man that has ever given me the kind of love, attention and care that I've always prayed for is a married man. I am not the kind of person to cause trouble nd I know that no matter how great our relationship is, we don't have a future together. I'm in love with my boyfriend but I don't want to wake up at 40 years and find that I wasted my best years with a married man so I'm open to moving on. 

My new friend on the other hand came back and said he still wants me in his life so we kept on talking. However last week he put two and two together and realized that the boyfriend I have is a married man. I could immediately feel his disgust and disappointment. He didn't hide it as we were talking on the phone and his voice became very hurt and he said he was done with me and hung up. However shortly after that he sent me a message begging me to explain why someone like me is dating a married man. He said he was disappointed and I nearly brought him to tears, he said he feels it's a very stupid thing for me to do. 

At that point I noticed his feelings towards me changing. He started to talk to me and treat me different. But later he called and asked for us to see, which we did. I explained to him how I found myself dating a married man and he says he understands but he doesn't like it. He then said that he never wants to talk about the married man again and before the night ended, he came out plainly that he does not want a girlfriend, he wants a wife. And I am what he wants in a wife. That he is still believing that we can have a future together. 

Now my problems are these:

Will him knowing that I have been dating a married man, affect our relationship in the long run? I kinda feel that even though he is saying he can overlook it now provided I break up with him immediately, he may later use it against me. I also worry that if we get married, he may have no issues having an affair and rubbing it in my face because after all, I was dating a married man when we met. Thoughts?

Secondly, he is extremely close to his sisters. This is a man that's almost 40 yet he cannot make a single decision without consulting with his sisters., especially his immediate younger sis. For instance, the day I told him I have a boyfriend and he hung up. He immediately called her to tell her. When I admitted that the boyfriend is married, instantly he called her to tell her. When I told him I sometimes drink alcohol, he called her to ask what she thinks. He tells her everything and even forwards our chats to her. Sometimes when he calls me and he is with her, he'll put the phone on speaker so that she can hear the full conversation. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Both when he told her I have a boyfriend and he is married, she asked him to still give me a chance, and that at least I was honest about dating the married man. So, I don't think she is a bad person, but I'm not sure if I'm confortable with the minutest details of our relationship being shared with his sisters. 

Also, he is a divorcee. He is yet to tell me what caused the divorce but it seems that he has moved on, and his ex is remarried too, so there's not much issue there. 

But lastly, and I am also very worried about this. He is from a polygamous home. That kind of home where the siblings don't all know each other, the mothers aren't at peace with each other and some of the siblings don't get along. I have heard a lot about polygamous homes and some not so good things about marrying into them. I would appreciate any advise that I can get on this. 

My fellow blog readers it's all complicated and I feel as if I should just back out, but somewhere in my spirit I believe that this guy really wants to settle down with me, and I would like to get married soon too, and I also have feelings for him. But I don't know if he is the right person. I need your advise please. Thanks. 

Just a recap, advise me on if he will treat me badly because I'm dating a married man, and/or if his sisters can later use it against me. Him sharing every single detail of every event with his sister(s) and depending on them to advise him on what to do. Marrying into a very polygamous family. 

Thank you. 


Thursday, 16 February 2017

Bob Risky, Tonto Dike & Just Why?

I'm here waiting for my flight, got to the airport early and I've seen most flights leave on schedule, yet while here I've heard three flight been cancelled. Can you guess what Airline...

Arik of course!

My only question is why the flying heck do people still fly Arik?


This has got to be one of the greatest mysteries in the world at the moment. 

So anyhoo, I got here too early and I've got lots of time on my hands to I'd share 3 things I saw on Instagram with you. 

The first is Bob Risky's new look. You like? Seriously though, you like? Some people have this theory that Bob Risky is not gay but created this persona and exploits for attention and popularity in order to sell his bkeaching products. What do you think?

Second is that someone actually Tonto Dike, (formerly?) Churchhill's Wikipedia page. See below. 

Seriously! Some people have all the time in the world. 

Lastly, this CV. 

Job seekers, maybe the reason you've not gotten that job is because you've not upgraded your CV to the new resumΓ© 5.0. 

Just saying...

My flight was just called. BRB. (Pls forgive any typos)

Don't forget to tell me what you think about these...

Throwback Thursday. My First Love...

Last night, on the 15th, I wanted to take down the red and white balloons and ribbons I'd put up in the spirit of Valentine and just as the scissors made the first snip, a bunch of people raged uproariously. I was shocked by their collective protest.

"Don't take it down!" One tall, burly handsome guy said. I was surprised. Mr Macho has been coming around for years and we'd always exchange glances but never speak. He's one of the really masculine manly alpha male types, so I was taken aback when he lunged forward from his chair because I cut off a ribbon. 

"It's still Valentine, can't you see I'm still wearing my red", another cried, truly he wore a bold red shirt. Last I checked Valentine's Day is on the 14th, but okay...

I closed up at about 11.45pm and because it was quite late, I offered to give the DJ a ride to the bus stop. A young lady walked closely behind him, I soon learnt that she's his girlfriend who'd been watching her man play all night. 

"Awww, you guys are still doing Valentine" I teased. I'd expected the DJ to be a bit embarassed as most men would but he wasn't at all. "Yes nau. Valentine is until weekend!" He said owning it. 


So in the spirit of love & Valentine, I'm dedicating today's Throwback Thursday to our first loves. 

Do you remember your first love? I do. 

His name is Leo*. I was 17 when we started dating and shortly turned 18. He was 23. It was the most beautiful feeling; young love. I'd thought I was grown but when we really started dating, I began to feel more like a woman, more worldly, more knowing. He was also my first Valentine. I still remember the gifts he gave me, and I remember the Paco Rabanne aftershave I bought him, the most expensive thing I'd ever purchased in my life at the time. 
However, I got into the university and I saw that Jambito Rush was in the air, I simply couldn't let that exhilarating experience pass me by... It wasn't just the Jambito Rush to be honest. It was also the intoxicating feeling of freedom. For the first time in my life I was truly free... Or I could have been, but for a boyfriend. 
So... the boyfriend had to be eliminated, I chose freedom over love. Broke a man's heart and the tears he cried would come to haunt me years later. Yes, years later when (blog reader) J's husband's prophesy (I don't think he and J had met or become friends at the time) that I wouldn't find any guy that'd love me the way Leo did in a very long time, seemed to be coming true. 

Well, that's that. Leo and I are (facebook) friends now, he's a father and a husband and our past is history, just a page in the books of each other's lives. 

Now over to you. Who was your first love? How old were you? What was the relationship like? How did it end (if it did)? Are you friends now? Let's talk all about first loves... 😍😍😍

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Wednesday, 15 February 2017

"Are You Deaf?", "Do Your Worst!" & "Marry Me And My Life Will Be Complete" (3 Things They Said To Me).

So I told y'all that I had to take time off everything else and dedicate the next months of my life to running, managing and transforming this great place called Chidoz 😍.

Basically for now it's mine; assets and liabilities. 

I can't go into all the details now but suffice it to say that it's really not an easy business to run, moreso when the majority your customers are not the cool kids that you're used to dealing with. 

I had to let go of some staff and until I hire the kind of staff I need, I remain short-staffed and this means that I have to not only interface but also tend to customers, on very busy nights. 

You see, I don't mind busy nights. Busy nights are good, busy nights mean mo'money. 

And I have never ever wanted to serve customers before, but when a business is in your hands, you will smile and do what needs to be done. 

This sometimes means joining the waiters to cater to customers on busy nights. 


It's actually fine. 

Until I come across some rather special customers. 

Tonight business is a bit gentle, guess most people demolished their wallets yesterday (yesterday was crazzzzayyyy!) so for now I get to sit back and play boss and reflect on the last week. 

Which reminds me of things that were said to me by some of our guests. 

1. Are you deaf? Here's what happened. He asked for a big bottle of Eva water at room temperature. I actually didn't hear that part and thought I was doing him a favour by grabbing the coldest bottle in the chiller and serving it to him, because Lagos heat. 
      Well.... he held the bottle and all but threw it at me. "Onwe ihe n'eme gi n'isi? (Igbo for 'is there something worrying you in the head?'). Are you deaf? I said warm water, what is this!". I was rooted to the spot trying to figure out the worst that would happen if I emptied the bottle of chilled water on his round head. Well, until a waiter appeared, grabbed the errant bottle and ran to get another while I held my head high and walked away with grace and elegance; the hardest thing I've had to do all month... 

2. Do your worst. So this guy bought one large cat fish to eat, all alone. Half way through he realized that he could not finish the meal by himself and asked for a takeaway plastic bowl. The bowl he asked for costs about N350. When he saw that on the bill he said he wouldn't be paying for it. Helpless, the waiters came to call me as madam concerned. When the man saw me approaching he blew a fuse. "Why did they call you? Will you call police for me? Do your worst, am not paying for plastic!". Apparently uncle felt that we should not charge him for the plastic bowl, because... (I have no idea). I don't know how but I suddenly started laughing and teasing him, stroked his ego a bit and next thing I knew, he started blushing, paid in full and even left the change. 

3. Just marry me and my life will be complete! As you can imagine, there's no night someone isn't trying to get my number, woo me or want to get to know me better. But on this one night, this one guy took it up a notch and went to meet my parents who were both there, to tell them that he has found his wife. I went to meet my mum to get some keys, not knowing I was the reason for the gathering. When I joined them this drama king fell to his knees and clasped his hands together as though in prayer. "Nne, just marry me. Marry me and my life will be complete!" This was followed by several incoherent promises which I could cash in on, after the marriage. 
      My parents and I were watching this film show, the guy was very serious, yet animated and it was hard not to laugh. Slowly, I slunk backwards towards where I'd come from, leaving my parents to deal with their son-in-law in a non-existent universe. 


It's not by any standards an easy business to run, but for the first time in a long time, I'm loving the challenge. There's so much, like sooooo much work to be done. But I'm excited to see God in action. 

It's a bit more challenging because I'm also currently co-planning a conference holding in April (I will invite y'all when time comes) and a wedding around the same period. These were jobs I took on before I knew life had certain other plans for me. Surely, I'm still loving and exploring events management, but Chidoz (I think I'll have to change the name at some point πŸ’­πŸ’­) is my primary purpose right now. 

Sometime soon we'd have a TTB hangout here and you'll eat some real good catfish, the best peppered goat meat this side of town, and drink some chilled brew for the soul. 

Who's here for that? πŸ˜‰

Spunk Or Shrew? You Decide.

Ace director and altogether super woman, Kemi Adetiba shared the mail above which she got from an 18 year old. 

Kemi obviously loved the young lady's straight talking ways and said "Abso-friggin-lutely ❤️ this email. She's got spunk. I gotta work with her somehow". 

Some of Kemi's followers applauded the young lady saying they admire her straight-talking, no-BS ways, others felt that the lady is disloyal and Kemi should not dare hire her! A few others even suggested that she has no "home training".

I read the mail and I felt that for someone like Kemi who obviously gets a tons of mails like this, you've got to find a way to set yourself apart. But "I plan to use you to make me more successful than you" got me wondering. 

Ambition is great but what's are your thoughts on this?

Monday, 13 February 2017

Happy Valentine's Day!

And at this beautiful moment I wish you love. 

I wish you love in your heart. 

I wish you love in your home. 

I wish you love all around you. 

I pray that you also show love. 

What have you awesome people planned for today? 

Are you spending it alone? It's alright, tell me. Are you okay? Are you feeling particularly lonely right now? Are you in a hurry for it to be all over? Are you wondering "when will it be my turn?"? "Is everything around you red yet you feel blue?  

I know only too well how you feel, I've been there many times. It's why I'd like us to talk about it. 

On the other hand, where are the lovers in the house? Oya give us gist, what have you planned for bae today? Come and nack us tory, and we want details too! 

TTB readers, I'm waiting for the day one of you would surprise me, just one! Yes I'm unabashedly vexing. Everytime my blog line rings (since yesterday) I think oh, maybe someone wants to surprise me, but it turns out to be the same "I need someone to talk to, I have a problem...." kinda call. 
      Oh, I love being there for you to talk to. I love that I can help out when you're in need even if it's simply by listening. I love that you think I'm good enough for you to share your problems with. I love that sometimes you call just to check up on me and know if I'm okay, that makes me feel special. And my number is still there so you know I'm still here for you...

But in the spirit of Valentine I'd hoped for a surprise 😑.

More importantly guys, I know the economy is not great but if you've got good stuff you don't use and you think someone else might appreciate, then please mail me and let's have a giveaway on the blog. Oh, just incase you're feeling rather generous this Valentine's Day, money and airtime are very welcome. You can be the one to make someone smile. 

Happy Valentine's Day! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sunday, 12 February 2017

Goodbye Eric Arubayi.

Your death has been the most shocking and painful thing I've heard all year, yet I did not know you personally. I notice I'm not alone in my pain, I'm seeing several others, who either were personal friends of yours, or like me, knew and admired you from a distance. The one thing we share in common this Sunday morning is our shock. 

When I saw your pictures on my instagram feed this morning, without reading the captions I'd simply believed that today must be your birthday and i muttered a birthday wish as I scrolled passed. Yet one caption caught my eyes; you will be missed. And I rushed back to the top of my feed, surely you were leaving the country that's why you'd be missed, surely you could not be dead. 

But it turns out that you are. The tears came. Because it simply makes no sense. The death of such a young, vibrant, handsome, talented, God-loving, God-serving, God-fearing young man makes no sense whatsoever, especially when they say the cause of death is malaria, or taking expired drugs for malaria or something senseless like that. 

How cold death is!

I used to watch you lead worship sessions at House on The Rock, crossed paths with you a few times and each time I'd think "What a man. What a complete man!". Your presence, talent and person could never be ignored, you were a rare one! Really, your death makes absolutely no sense. 

I pray that God consoles the young family that you left behind. Your beautiful young wife and that cute little son of yours. I pray that God consoles your loved ones. I pray and know that He will welcome you with opens arms. Surely He must have really needed a good one like you up there, that's why He let you go. 

Rest in peace sir. You will be remembered, your memory will never fade, you will be greatly missed. 

Saturday, 11 February 2017

The Non-Hebrew Woman?

"Currently 16weeks pregnant. I remember when i and my husband was shopping for a hospital in which I could register for ANC. We went to different hospitals and then my husband will only ask for “normal delivery costs”. When he is done, I will then say “how much does it cost for CS?”. The first time I did that, he was taken aback and did not talk to me throughout the drive home. Few minutes after we got home, he asked “babe why did you ask for cost of CS” and I told him that was because I was actually considering elective CS because mi o le wa ku on top deliver like an Hebrew woman. He started lecturing me about how I do not have faith and how CS is this and that. I sat him down and told him then no dey give award for normal or CS birth and at the end of the day, it’s my choice. He has now resigned himself to the fact that I am going to do elective CS.

In church on Sunday, I was talking to a close friend of mine. She is also preggy but two weeks ahead of me and she is carrying twins. We were talking about somethings and she said she was afraid of episotomy(sp) so I (who's opted for elective CS) said oh, no need. You may likely deliver through CS since you are carrying multiples. If you see the way my friend did the hand-round-my-head-while-snapping-te-fingers sign of rejection, you would think I wished her death. She actually sent me a WhatsApp message later in the day to warn me not to wish her CS anymore. I sha apologised and say toh, no vex. I no know say you like pain like that".

Last week I read of a young woman who had just died while trying to deliver her baby. The doctor strongly suggested they carry out a Caesarian section on her, but the mom-to-be refused even more strongly. Apparently she's a Jehovah's Witness and as we know by now, CS is against their doctrine. So in an attempt to birth her baby like the "Hebrew woman", or why ever else they do what they do, mother and child both lost their lives. 

I don't mean to knock on anyone's beliefs but I think God wants us alive and well...

Moving forward, bizarre as it may sound that this happens in 2017, I find this more acceptable and understandable than people who still view birth through CS as something to be ashamed of. When I read the post where I culled the above comment from (on   ) I couldn't believe the comments I was reading. 

Please are awards given for vaginal deliveries or something? I always thought it was a no-brainer, in fact, I used to think, albeit naively, that it would be the preferred course of action for most women. It turns out that I'm terribly wrong.  

One would think that what matters is that both mother and baby are well and healthy. And that a mother should do what's best for her and the child. But apparently, women who are cut open are viewed by some weaker, and less than. 

Please my people help me make sense of this. Do the pains of labour and pushing a baby out of the vagina bestow some honor upon a woman, than the woman who took the "easy way out" is not entitled to? 

Besides, is Caesarian section really the easy way out?...

Photo credit; raw vibes

Ugh! I Hate People Who Hate Valentine's Day!

I just hate them, those people who say "it's just vals day, what's the point?" "I don't celebrate Valentine's Day because everyday should be Valentine's Day". "What happens when he treats you bad on every other day and then decides to spoil you for just that one day, does it make sense?" "Valentine's Day is just a scam for people to make money".  

And I notice that most of the people who go on like this are single. 

Look, I get it. It's just one day in a year. But it's the day set aside for L.O.V.E. "It's like saying love yourself everyday so why should you celebrate your birthday?". Crap, love yourself everyday but that one day marks a special day in your life so by all means celebrate yourself if you want! Or worse yet, like saying "Why should I buy a gift or call my mum on Mother's Day? After all I love my mum everyday". Duuuuuh!

Likewise, Val's day is the day you or your love can be officially extra in expressing love. 

And yes, people in business would grab it as an opportunity to make money. But what's wrong with that? If you're in business and you don't seek out and seize opportunities to maximize your profit then my darling, you should not be in business. Everyone, from commercial banks to the baker next door is latching on to this, and it's not a bad thing. 

Please don't listen to the Debby-Downers that make you feel bad about wanting something special on Valentine's Day. If many of them had the opportunity to be spoiled silly with gifts, spa dates, love, Tender Loving Care and over the top romantic gestures, they would grab it with both hands... And feet!

Now, if you're single and don't have someone to spend the day with, DO NOT FEEL BAD! First off, love yourself passionately and feel free to do something special for yourself on that day. And remember that you have many many many more Valentine's days ahead of you. So do not feel bad, or envious of anyone else. I'd even suggest, if you can afford it, take a cake to work/school for everyone, or just do something nice for yourself and others.
     On Tuesday I'm going to be all alone, working. Because I'm in a long distance relationship of sorts and it happens to be on a Tuesday so travelling wouldn't be expedient at the time. Of course I'd want to be boo'd up and doing all the sickly sweet things lovers do but I can't. However, I'm going to enjoy the day and feed off of the love in the air!

Because why not? Why shouldn't I grab every opportunity there is to be happy and joyful and lighthearted?

And that's my point exactly? Why not just enjoy the moment, celebrate it, be happy for those who have someone to celebrate it with. Just be HAPPY! Celebrate love. 

No, it's not a do or die affair, and nobody is saying that if you're in a relationship then you must empty your bank account. But even the tiniest gesture on that day could go a long way; as long as thought is put into it. 

Anyways, rant over. I really wanted to let off steam from reading all the "Who Val's day epp?" comments I'm seeing online. 

So guys, how would you be spending the 14th? Like I said, it's going to be a busy day at work for me. I'm running my family's restaurant & lounge business and I'm going to spend the day running around and catering to people. And when I have the time, I'd seat back and watch other lovers enjoy their Valentine's day. (I'm rescheduling my Valentine's Day 😊😊😊). 


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